What's in a name?

From time to time over the years I have often pondered the question: are we given our names because our parents instinctively believe they capture our essence, or do we grow to become our names?

Why is it that I have so many friends called Cathy, have never met a Jane I didn't like, only like Kirstens who are known as Kirsten (not Kirsty) and whilst I've only met a small handful of Julie's in my life, every one of them have had a huge impact on me? Why have I never met a meek Kellie (or Kelly)? Why do I instinctively trust people called Nick?

And why do I immediately dislike almost everyone with certain names (which I won't mention here in case of hate mail)?

Apparently too there are a large number of Laurens who become lawyers and Dennis is a very popular name for a dentist. Coincidence? Would Obama have become President if his name didn't equate to ambition and success?

As for Rebeccas, there seem to be two separate camps. Those who refer to themselves as Bec are almost always fascinating to me (including myself, haha) yet those who go by Rebecca seem to be quieter and more mild (for the record, if anyone calls me Rebecca I generally think I'm in trouble).

It's a strange thing to wonder, I'll admit, but it does cross my mind every time I'm talking about my friend Cathy to a friend and have to clarify which of the many I'm talking about.

My sister's name was supposed to be Amanda Jane yet by the time my father arrived at the hospital after her birth, my mum had already renamed her something entirely different as 'she didn't look like an Amanda Jane'.

When I was born a year later, I was supposed to be Amanda Jane instead, and yet once again, my mum reneged and called me Rebecca Louise, because I wasn't an Amanda either!

During my own pregnancy I settled on three 'right' names. One I grew heartily sick of by halfway through and the other was soundly laughed at by pretty much everyone I told (for interest's sake, it was Jesse). By the time I gave birth I had settled on Elijah but wanted to make sure that the name fit. I had this feeling that I would just look at him and he would virtually name himself, much like mum said that we had.

But he didn't. I looked at him and looked at him and quite frankly, with his enormous cone-head, barely able to open his eyes (due to skin being stretched so far over cone head) and skinny little body with arms and legs waving all over the place and wailing his head off, he looked more like an alien than any human baby I've ever seen!

I went with Elijah but for the first month or so I used to sit there and watch him wondering if I'd made the right decision. Was his name really Elijah? Had I make a mistake? It's not that he didn't look like an Elijah, he just didn't look like anyone I'd ever known. Weird.

Obviously as the years have gone by I have realised the name suits him to a T.

I found this great website where you can type in your first name and it tells you all about you. For instance:

Elijah: has an expressive nature, with a tendency to assume too heavy a burden of responsibility, has a generous quality but must guard against giving more than you receive, emotionally intense, idealistic and inspirational.

Anyone who knows my son knows this is spot on!

I personally didn't care for the 'Rebecca' description so tried 'Bec' and got the following:

Bec: positive, self-assertive and independent, creative, ingenious in practical matters, buoyant optimism provided I am given the opportunity to pursue my own goals free from interference (ie. back the hell off), impulsive and forceful when opposed, cannot tolerate domination by others or feeling restricted (again, ie. back the hell off). Prone to making impulsive or abrupt decisions. I choose to ignore the 'can alienate others' part and apparently I have to watch out for tension or accidents to the head!!???

So much of this completely resonates with me, down to the tension headaches I've experienced since I was young and the fact that I packed E and I up and moved us to Toowoomba on little more than a whim (albeit an educated one).

So the question is, are we shaped by our names or do our names shape us? I think it's a bit of both. From what I've seen, what we are named influences certain characteristics in some way yet we can choose which characteristics to display to the world so it is not a defining thing.

For instance, I mentioned previously that I am friends with many Cathys. The characteristics for a Cathy are: friendly, approachable, generous, good-natured (though at times blunt and sarcastic - really???), sympathetic and generous to those in difficult circumstances, firm, positive, independent but often need help in taking action, artistic, creative, original but scattered and emotional.

Ring any bells, my Cathys?

I would say that this describes all of them. Perfectly. Having said that though, each and every Cathy I hold dear is fundamentally different from the next. In fact you probably couldn't find more different people, they are utterly unique. And yet they all have these characteristics.

What do you think? Do you feel like you fit your name, does your description resonate with you? Do you think the name we're given at birth influences how we are, or do you think somehow we get the name we were always supposed to have? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

xx