Bec's rant of the day...what has happened to sisterhood in motherhood?

I was reading one of my favourite blogs where she directed us to a controversial article that is currently making the rounds in the US. It's called the Modern Motherhood Conflict, and wow. This woman takes potshots at stay-at-home mums ('they have lost their minds') and likens the movement back towards natural parenting as turning the female back into an 'animal'.

The really disappointing thing is the author, Elisabeth Badinter, has a couple of really good points in the article but her controversial stances on select subjects have raised the ire of mothers everywhere which means anything sensible that she does say is diluted by the idiotic comments she peppers throughout the interview.

Her main points:

• Any gains made throughout the last 100 years that have allowed women to be more independent have been set back through the movement back to more natural forms of parenting
• Women are losing themselves in their children and then what? They grow up, move out, and women are left unskilled and unemployable
• Children benefit from learning how to get along without their mothers, therefore it is good for women to work outside of the home
• Breastfeeding puts the father completely aside, turns women into animals and formula is almost as good as breastmilk. Women shouldn't be made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding
• Women should not give up their identity when they become mothers

I was left at the end of this interview thinking, what ever happened to sisterhood?

It was a shame as some of this really resonated and made sense. The best advice I received was to be Bec first, mother second. You put yourself second, third, last so often and so automatically that it can be easy to get lose sight of yourself, particularly when sleep deprived. This advice in my opinion is really valid and so important for a mother's sanity. Taking just a few minutes of me-time in whatever form works for you (mine was a shower) helps you feel human, calms your emotions and really does make you a more positive parent.

I also agreed with women losing focus on their careers for extended periods of time. No-one knows what will happen in their lives, and I have seen women affected by divorce, death or illness that suddenly find themselves breadwinners and have no discernable skills apart from keeping a great house.

I am not disparaging stay-at-home mums in any way, yes they have many skills, but are they easily transferrable and recognisable in what is becoming a more competitive work environment during this period of rising unemployment? Technology changes in a whisper so skills from 5-10 years ago simply may not be enough to convince the employer you're up to the task.

I also struggled very much with breastfeeding, despite trying for months, and eventually my son rejected me entirely for a bottle filled with breastmilk. And yes, I did feel somewhat like a cow having to use the dreaded breast pump all the time. This doesn't mean that I'm not still an advocate of breastfeeding, all evidence points towards the the fact that it is absolutely the best start you can give your baby. However having been on the receiving end of glaring disapproval from staunch breastfeeders (who had no idea what I'd been through) when I pulled out a bottle, I do agree there should be more support for choice. The way she attacked breastfeeding proponents was, however, so over the top that it was hard to even see her point.

I pretty much disagree, and quite violently, with almost every other word coming out of this woman's mouth. She might think that natural parenting sets us back 100 years, but I feel her comments are setting the women's movement back 100 years.

Feminism to me, means giving women CHOICE. Choice whether or not to have children, choice whether or not to work, to breastfeed, parent and unlimited choice of career and equality despite your gender. Elizabeth's scathing attack on stay-at-home-mums and those who subscribe to natural parenting disparages this choice. I personally had to work for financial reasons, however I am completely envious of those who have the choice to work or not work. Choice being the operative word.

I have said on so many occasions on this blog that I adore my friends because they are supportive, uplifting and positive influences on my life. This is as it should be! Why do women persist in tearing each other down when we should be standing together? I find it terribly said that we criticise each other endlessly for working, not working, using cloth nappies or disposables, doing this, doing that...where does it end?

Elizabeth's attack on stay-at-home-mums is just as bad in my opinion as criticism for working mothers. When we all accept that we all have different parenting styles, different kids and different lives, and that provided our children are happy and healthy, our acceptance of each other's choices is what will drive us forward. Tearing each other down is what sets us back, not breastfeeding.

Whew. There's my rant for the day. What do you think? Do you agree with anything Elizabeth says or did the blood boiling in your veins make you not read past paragraph 1?

xx