A real friend is one that loves you not despite your quirks, but because of them. I shudder to think how many eccentricities I must have as the large majority of my friends have their own little strange addictions that are, whilst amusing and often endearing, ultimately perplexing.
Take a male friend of mine. He has his stash hidden all around his house. His partner often finds bags of the stuff in obscure places. She's taken to shaming him on Facebook to try to get him to stop. She's threatened an intervention. He says he can stop anytime. Completely in denial.
No it's not drugs, it isn't porn, its....
MATCHBOX CARS.
Yes, matchbox cars. Loads of the things. He could open a shop.
He claims they're for his son, but this doesn't explain why they're hidden around the house in places Billy couldn't hope to reach, and that a surprisingly large amount are still in their packaging.
To keep the peace and to divert attention, my friend feeds his partner's addiction instead. Her's? Well she is obsessed with KITCHEN PORN. Her obsession being so great that in response to her partner's purchase of a juicer, she was quoted as saying "It's better than any diamond ring! It's so shiny and beautiful (sniff)".
Ooookaaay.
At least her addiction is less shameful and understandable, and ultimately useful. Having been lucky enough to sample the wares from her pride and joy, the Kitchenaid, I can agree that whilst I'm relatively undomesticated and completely uninterested in making my own pasta, I can covet an ice cream maker with the best of them and spend time in the stores drooling with glazed eyes over the selection of incredible, shiny appliances that promise to deliver a dish worthy of any Masterchef contestant without any effort on my part.
So her addiction is somewhat relatable.
He on the other hand...Matchbox Anonymous....STAT.
What are your addictions?
"The Stash"
2 comments:
Love it!
My ex was worse, he had/has thousands of unopened Hot Wheels cars. He would chase down a rare one on that addictive site known as eBay and pay a small fortune for each one! I use to joke with him and say it was our son's collage fund. Alas he got them in the split and I'm out a collage fund!
Post a Comment