Things that annoy me. Part 64,952.

So it appears people like it when I'm pissed off. Apparently that's funny. Which only annoys me more, thank you. Yes, YOU'RE on the list.

So today's list, in no particular order:

• Train. Ever since I saw Pat whatsisface wearing happy pants and doing his daggy grandpa dance to the horrendous Soul Sister (TOTALLY destroying all lovely images of Ian Astbury in his leather pants and the HAIR rocking out to the similarly-titled song for The Cult circa 1992) on Kerri-Anne Kennerly a few years back, I've not been able to bear the sight or sound of this so-called 'band'. I laughed myself stupid at them thinking no-one would surely think the song was anything but a travesty.

I overestimated people. 

I instantly hated a song that came out recently that kept getting stuck in my head (although I changed the lyrics from 'help me, help me, I'm all out of lies' to 'help me, help me, I'm no good in bed' - try it, my version sounds WAAAYYY better. And you know it's true). 

It didn't surprise me one bit to find out that the hateful band-that-shall-not-be-named were responsible for this outrage. Radio stations everywhere are perpetuating it just to piss me off. I just know it. For shame. Perhaps I need to create my own radio station that is a Train and Nickelback free zone??? Oh, and Rihanna, Chris Brown, Rita Ora....and every other song I don't care for. There may not be much left, but it would be COOL. Thank you.

• Rita Ora. Not sure what 'party and bullshit' actually means but I'll pass. Thank you.

• Toowoomba Crime Reporting. yesterday, apparently a man was caught in a 'low speed car chase', according to the radio news. WTF? Conjures up a mental pic of a deaf grandad with the HAT (never trust a driver wearing a grandad hat) doing 10km on the open road with overweight police, donuts in hand, on foot in hot pursuit a la Chief Wiggum. Huh???

• Bogan voices on radio. So it seems Toowoomba has a penchant for using particularly bad bogan voices and terrible pronunciation for radio advertising. WTF, dude? I'm sorry, I don't want to go 'shoppin at Joycie cos it's Tuesdee'. It's my birthDAY, not my birthdee. And I'm never going to your bowling alley if there's dozens of bogan kids running about with their hard-partying grandmas like your ad suggests. No chance. Changing the station back to Brisbane radio yesterday, whilst the hideous playlist seemed to remain unchanged, at least the voices managed to enunciate somewhat more palatably and in something that resembled English.

Now I'm no grammar nazi (OK that's a lie, I kinda am) but seriously people. If badly spoken people turn you on and make you open your wallet, then you've got bigger problems than I can help you with. That is all.

** This is not a complete list.

xx