Lessons I have learned from The Jersey Shore.

So the 'shore' is officially done and whilst some would argue that it has definitely lowered the bar in reality TV, no-one who watched can deny that they learned a thing or two along the way.

Love them or hate them, or more to the point, love them AND hate them, for five or so years this group got paid to party in a sick house on the coastline and entertain us.

And in typical car-crash viewing, this they did.

A la Honey Boo Boo, sometimes this show required it's own dictionary, and occasionally could've done with it's own subtitles (especially when meatball Deena got on the sauce. Which was always).

Thankfully someone did - what would we have ever done without the official Jersey Shore Dictionary, folks?

And then along the way, one went to rehab, most went to the slammer, and God help us all, Snooki became a mum. Oh. Dear. God.

So here's the lessons I have learned from this 'cultural phenomenon' (yes, the host of the 'Last Round' actually said that without laughing. I didn't cope as well):

• I didn't even know what a guido or guidette was before the show. Now I am enlightened, fascinated and horrified, all in equal parts. Apparently a guido is someone who spends more time on his hair than I do, with the result looking like some bad Aussie soap from the 1980s. And from the amount of cologne and perfume being sloshed about, clearly you can smell a guido at 100 paces.
• I also learned a new term for an unattractive female - the grenade. Apparently there's a 'war out there'. Lovely.
• Guidos and guidettes also tend to dance like they're having some sort of episode, which is apparently very cool. Personally I was tempted to call the medics on more than one occasion and will probably have a car crash if I ever drive along the Jersey turnpike.
• If I took a shot every time Mike referred to himself in the third person and/or simultaneously showed his 'situation' then I'd have been in rehab alongside him.
• Whilst it's perfectly OK to wear a top as a dress with nothing underneath whilst dancing the Jersey turnpike and also fine to pee in public whenever necessary, splitting your pants when wearing underwear is embarrassing.
• The cameramen must have had the most entertaining job in the world, considering how much the show needed to be censored. 
• Snooki is only entertaining when she's smashed. Being pregnant apparently makes you 'disabled'.
• Apparently acting like a total tool for 5 years makes you rich. Guidos with money, a lethal combination.
• I would NEVER be paid enough to be the poor cleaners who had to sort out the aftermath.

So there you go. See, you can learn something from everything, even the Jersey crew. Who knew?

Bec xx