Lessons learned from Honey Boo Boo and Octomom. There are some (believe it or not).

A lovely lazy weekend is nearly over and I'm pleased to say after a great night's sleep, I woke up feeling like a human being...what a lovely surprise. Thank you antibiotics for doing your job!

So, as only someone who desperately needs a life can, I've enjoyed a weekend doing little but the grocery shopping, a bit of yard work and catching up on my gossip and mandatory inane TV viewing. Oh and making some wonderful, yummy sushi!

So I'm tackling some REALLY big issues today, ie:

Lessons learned from Honey Boo Boo:

• It's the only English speaking television show that requires subtitles. At least I think it's English...the jury is still out.
• For quite some time I've had a desperate hankering to acquire myself a teacup pig (teacup pig! teacup pig! Thank you How I Met Your Mother). Honey Boo Boo has taught me however that the gentle, cute little piggie of my dreams is in reality a REALLY REALLY loud nightmare. Dreams shattered :( So were Honey Boo Boo's when poor old Glitzy was served up for dinner returned to the breeder.
• I truly hope the family have saved plenty of money from scraping up roadkill and visiting the local 'department store' (Georgian euphemism for DUMP) to provide Chubbs with the necessary therapy she will require after being rolled in a stanky mattress and sat upon. Eugh. I'm still scratching just watching. Scariest TV moment ever.
• Sugar Bear eyeing up June like a piece of meat made me throw up in my mouth a little. File under IMAGES I WILL NEVER GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
• Elvis is apparently Santa's toymaker. Who knew.
• Apparently bingo is a 'sport'. OK...
• Quote of the day: 'Having that extra thumb reminds me of a Swiss Army Knife'. Sugar Bear, on baby Kaitlyn. Enough said.
• I will never look at biscuits the same way ever again.

On another note, I read that poor Octomom has admitted herself to rehab for a prescription drugs addiction [CUE RIDICULING TWEETS HERE]. It was inevitable. Seriously folks, if you had a hundred kids you'd be popping the Xanax too. Although someone who willingly inseminates herself with 600 children simultaneously is already enough of the cray cray to probably have stepped off the road to reality quite some time ago. Woman needs a holiday.

And I see that both Rihanna and Lady Gaga had the inspired and so completely original idea to celebrate Halloween dressed as weed. If only they'd gone up in a puff of smoke...but we can only dream. So not hot ladies.

Meanwhile, I didn't receive a phone call today telling me I'd won the lottery so it's off to work tomorrow...SIGH. But the big $120 million is on Tuesday night so if I suddenly disappear without notice you know I'll be lounging beachside sipping cocktails somewhere in Barbados on my private beach. Ah.

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

xx