Tuesday 28 May 2013

Never throw a moose out of an aeroplane in Alaska.

So dancing the night away in Japan is apparently illegal and there are 'entertainment spaces' where you can actually be asked to please stop moving to the music. True story.

Now I'm fully aware that there is a segment of the population whose dancing really IS a crime against humanity and should be punishable by law to it's full extent. I mean, really. I know there's a saying that you should dance like no-one is watching, but seriously folks, it's meant to be a metaphor for life...remember there is ALWAYS someone watching...and perhaps cringing. Corporal punishment is perfectly OK in these circumstances. Unless they like it, but that's another story for another kind of blog entirely.

It's like sing as if no-one's listening. Out of consideration for the population at large and all the pets in the neighbourhood, I tend to only sing WHEN no-one is listening. It's a public service (cause I'm giving like that) and anyone who's ever had the misfortune to inadvertently hear my warbling would totally agree.

However Japan has really taken this to the extreme. Imagine being somewhere listening to music and involuntarily tapping your foot and bobbing your head and suddenly you're being police-escorted towards the exit.

Christ, I'd be arrested at work for God's sake. I just realised while perusing Madonna's early catalogue through my earphones that I'm having to restrain myself from singing aloud (see rule above) and I am certainly wiggling around in my seat like I have worms whilst enjoying Into The Groove (arguably Madonna's best effort ever).

Which led me to ponder the strange and insane laws that are in effect around the world (a logical segue, naturally).

Did you know that in Alabama it is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church? Or in Indiana any male driver with a female passenger under the age of 17 better make sure she's wearing her shoes and socks otherwise you could find yourself arrested for statutory rape. And whatever you do, please ensure that you do not strap your children to your car roof or bumper whilst in Oregon.

And heaven help you if you're drunk and in possession of a cow... where else but Scotland? Of course.

Apparently in New York you're allowed to go topless provided it's not for any business purpose. Something to remember when I'm there later this year! Whereas in Liverpool it's only allowed if you're selling exotic fish...perfectly logical.

And let us not leave out Ireland...I have a particular fascination with this country as I'm firmly convinced they're all certifiably insane, in the best possible way. One of the funniest books I've ever read is Tony Hawks' personal account called 'Round Ireland with a Fridge' (go on, read it, you know you want to) which is, surprisingly enough, based on his true adventure of hitching around Ireland with...you guessed it...a fridge. Based on a drunken pub bet that in Ireland people would pick up anyone, no matter how crazy looking, it's a great read that proves everything I've always thought about the Irish. Before I get lambasted by anyone of Irish descent, I say this with a great deal of love and some diluted Irish blood running through my own veins.

So with great anticipation I googled crazy laws in Ireland, and I wasn't disappointed. 
  • If a leprechaun calls at your door, you must give him a share of your dinner
  • It is illegal to perform any kind of witchcraft in Dublin
  • The Tippling Act 1735 prohibits a publican from pursuing a customer for money owed for any drink given on credit (explains a lot)
  • At Trinity College, students can demand a glass of wine during an exam. Would make studying far more pleasant indeed...
  • Now overturned but once true: the penalty for suicide was death by hanging. Of course
 Having said all of this, I just googled crazy laws in Australia, and as it says that taxis by law have to carry a bale of hay in the boot (trunk) and that hot pink pants are illegal after midday on Sundays, I may have to take the laws above with a grain of salt. I mean, hot pink pants should be illegal under most circumstances but really?

What weird but true laws are still in effect where you live
? I'd love to hear them.

Bec  xx





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