Why I'm happy to have an arrogant child.

Maybe it's a side effect of being sick but I have been really contemplative lately. Perhaps it's the blog, perhaps it's the big changes I've made in my life lately or maybe I've just had too much time on my hands but I've been doing a lot of thinking about many random things, both important and unimportant.

A few weeks back I visited Brisbane for the first time to see my friends (who, without meaning to sound too wanky, filled my soul) and whilst I loved every single minute of catching up with my nearest and dearest, I really couldn't wait to get 'home'.

It's been such a short time in the scheme of things, just a few months, but Toowoomba really IS home now and I couldn't be happier. My health has been shot to shit, my house a comedy of errors and work has been insane but ultimately I have built a really happy and fulfilling life here. 

It all came full circle this weekend when I enjoyed a visit from my dad and my stepmother as well as my stepsister and her gorgeous kids. They were here to celebrate my stepmother's best friend's son's birthday (whew, did you follow that mouthful?) who also lives in Toowoomba (yes the one they've been trying to get me to meet).

It was really exciting to show them through my cute little cottage for the first time and to see the kids playing happily in the backyard. My stepsister has gone through a bit of a tree-change herself, moving recently from the Sunshine Coast to join my dad and her mum in Tenterfield. She's loving the simpler life and quite honestly, so am I.

So last night we went to the BBQ to celebrate Dan's birthday and I was caught up in conversation with a few people about how I was finding life in Toowoomba. I really wish I'd been in great health as there was a lot of drinking and laughter and all-around good times to be had, however unfortunately I flagged and bailed pretty early in the piece due to after-effects of sickness/medication.

While I was there though, it was so nice to talk to others who'd made the 'change' to Toowoomba and haven't looked back. 

Is it rare to feel so at home so quickly in a new town? I don't know what it is but we really just hit the ground running.

People often comment that I must be enjoying discovering new places up here and I promised myself I would do that...however since we got here we've pretty much established a really 'normal' life...you know, work, pottering around the house, becoming a 'regular' at the local coffee shop, enjoying the sunshine...blah blah. Clearly not the most exciting lifestyle you could imagine, but it is absolutely perfect for us.

I realised how perfect when my father and stepmother commented on a few things E had said to them in the car on the way to lunch yesterday. Basically the little brat spent the ride there bragging his ass off about his athletic prowess, his academic excellence and basically how fabulous and unparalleled he is at, well, everything.

Now to put this in context, E's first few years at school were pretty troubled. He was picked on, was considered anti-social and weird and had lots of social issues. I have worked pretty hard with him over the years to try to build his self-esteem and knew we'd made enormous headway. But it wasn't until dad told me the only ego issues he had these days were...well...a degree of ARROGANCE that I realised how far we'd come!

And it is so true. It has happened so gradually that I didn't really see it coming but standing before me now is a self-confident, assured young man who can laugh at himself, isn't mean or a bully and still dances to the beat of his own drum and doesn't give a rats what anyone says about it. What a win. My awesome little weirdo.

It makes my heart proud. Just effing fabulous. And what a contrast to the withdrawn, sad little man he was just a few years ago.

I always think that building self-esteem is the most important gift you can give your child. I had none as a kid and never want fear and uncertainty to hold E back the way it held me back. If a kid is strong and confident, then hopefully it will give him the backbone to hold his head high and make the right choices as a teenager.

Here's hoping...

xx

Get a life. Or your dad will get one for you.

So whilst I've been busy packing up our lives in Brisbane, it appears that my father has been working pretty hard himself....on finding me a life.

Last night on the phone my dad uttered six words that I am sure he thought he'd NEVER in his life say...

You need to get out more.

I was more than a social butterfly before my son was born, I'd probably go as far as saying I was a social animal (some might say anti-social animal). There was nary a Friday or Saturday where I wasn't out on the town making a fool of myself, generally always accompanied by copious quantities of fruity alcoholic drinks. And never mind that there was many a Thursday and Sunday night thrown in the mix as well as the weekends...you get the picture.

For many years my father despaired of me ever growing up and actually spending a night at home. Oh the horror!

Life has changed a lot since E was born and I'm quite a homebody now. Unless I get a great invitation to go out, I'm generally far happier just chilling out at home with my boy or hanging with friends at their houses. I rarely drink anymore and quite like the quieter life.

Clearly my dad doesn't think much more of this new lifestyle than he did of the old.

So on this note, he then advises me he's gone ahead and found me a life. WTF?

One of my stepmother's good friends has a son who lives in Toowoomba. I probably have met him once or twice over the last 20 years but to be honest I don't really have any recollection of him. Anyhow, he is apparently involved in a social group that first started as a couple of mates hanging out and now has become a regular event of about 50 or more people who get together at various different venues. Dad is now going to 'set me up' to have a coffee with him so he can explain how it works and then get me involved.

Hmm.

If this guy wasn't living with his partner and his daughter I'd be thinking there is some nefarious plot behind this hook-up however it actually does genuinely sound like dad wants me to get a life.

How embarrassing.

To preface this, my dad is really not the meddling type. He is interested and involved, but usually sits back and waits for me to come to him. So he must think this whole getting-out-more thing is pretty important to go ahead and arrange my life for me.

So I'm not so sure how I should be feeling about my 65 year old dad organising my social life. On one hand, this group sounds really interesting and quite like the sort of people I'd like to hang with. On the other, hello? My dad has to organise my social life?

It sounds pathetic when you say it like that.

So I know I have to shake things up, and as part of my new outlook of not letting fear stand in my way of new experiences, I'll give it a go. It's definitely outside my comfort zone - I've never really been a 'joiner', I'm more likely to do the opposite just because I hate being told what to do. And it's a little hard to stomach that I need my daddy to make friends for me!

So I've clearly got a lot of new experiences to look forward to in Toowoomba, including a ready-made life courtesy of dear old dad!

So I'd love to know - do your parents still go ahead and make life decisions for you? What ways do they still interfere with your life?

xx