Are you a psychopath?

So I was reading this interesting article a few weeks back about this new phenomenon (or old one really, they've now just put a name to it) of corporate psychopaths. They've probably been around since one caveman beat another one over the head for his hard-earned hunt or to impress some chick, but these days they're far cleverer and more devious than ever.

It got me thinking of all the office psychos I've had the misfortune to call my colleagues over the years.

And led me to take a online psychopath test to make sure I wasn't one of them myself. Well, you never know, right?

It turns out I don't exhibit any psychopathic tendencies but I meet 100% of criteria for some sort of personality disorder, likely an antisocial one. Mwahahaha, there's a thousand people that could've told you that.

So fortunately for all my fellow workers, I'm not a likely candidate to undermine, intimidate or bully you or make you seek counselling. Well, I may make you seek counselling but for an entirely different reason.

But I have been on the other end of the old corporate psychopath, in fact, in my younger days I tended to be the magnet for the bastards. Probably due to my shyness and lack of standing-up-for-myself, I always managed to attract the attention of some psycho or another to practice their specialities on.

These snakes are tricky bastards, as their general MO is to lure you in with charm and friendship first and then increasingly seek to undermine and criticise you and generally make you feel like a worthless human being.

And I've fallen for it big time. More than once. Sometimes it can take years to even realise that you're in the equivalent of an abusive relationship, and even harder to extricate yourself. It's worse when the psycho is your boss.


The worst part is I've spent years wondering what it is that I've done wrong. It's dented my confidence and affected my behaviour and made my performance suffer. Which then makes the cycle worse and it all begins again.

Basically I fed the beast.


I've felt so helpless and powerless in my past but the great part is I've learned how to recognise them and hopefully next time I simply won't get sucked in.

Have you worked with an office psycho? Are you one yourself? Do you get a kick out of manipulating and controlling people, and don't really have an empathy for anyone else? Or that the end justifies the means?

I'm not perfect (and clearly my test results demonstrate this!) but at least my personality issues probably make me care too much, not the other way around. I can manipulate persuade with the best of them but am more likely to kill you with kindness and make you walk away from my desk feeling 10 foot tall.

I'm just giving like that.

I'd love to hear your stories.

(caveat: thankfully I am now in a job where I haven't yet identified the corporate psycho although I'm sure she/he exist. If you're reading this, please leave me alone).

xx

Vampires really do suck.

Ok so firstly with the apologies. It's been forever since I last updated my blog. I have been dealing with all sorts of personal crap in the past week and you know what it's like, it's like you have blinkers on and just need to deal with what's immediately in front of you and you just can't be doing with anything else.

I also hate being a Debbie Downer so when I'm in that sort of headspace it's my way to just retreat from the world at large until I'm fit for human company again.

The good news is, all issues turned out to be misunderstandings and are now done and dusted and life is now back to normal! Thank fark for that.

Also on the upside, my probation period for my new job finished on Sunday. My boss and I have been so busy and like ships in the night lately, prompting him to ask me if I wanted to put a photo of him on my desk to remind me what he looks like...anyhoo, we decided to go into the office on Saturday when it was quiet to get shit done as it just hasn't been lately...

So I reminded him my probation was up and it was his last chance to readily remove me from the premises, and did he want me in the building on Monday? He then told me I was a 'dream' (mind you, he had to think about it for a minute).

I knew we were getting along really well but after what can only be described as a shithouse week, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Time to ask for a raise? What's a dream worth anyways? Or is having me around permanently enough of a punishment for the poor sod?

So anyhoo, all boring personal shit aside, my own dreams have crumbled to dust with the news today that Serbia's first vampire, Sava Savanovic, is now on the loose due to the fact that the old watermill he's been living in has collapsed (on further investigation, this is because the owners of the property were too scared to go in and do repairs in case they made him mad) and now the villagers think he's gonna seek revenge.

True story. The council themselves have issued a formal warning and don't give a crap that the rest of the world thinks they're a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Cue mass sales of garlic and crosses as the locals quickly barricade themselves after dark...and some enterprising young soul will become the new garlic baron of Serbia.

Truly.

So why am I so upset?

Well they published a photo of Sava and contrary to the romantic notions of vampires a la Ian Somerhalder, poor Sava really came from an unfortunate gene pool, one that managed to hit every branch of the ugly tree. I mean...right?

I am not sure if he has fangs or is just dealing with several truly unfortunate dental and hygiene issues.

I'm shattered.

As a vampire romantic, I am addicted to The Vampire Diaries, Twilight (despite crap, crap and crappier movies), True Blood and all things fang. The notion that my beloved Eric (aka Alexander Skarsgard) would more likely resemble some ugly old withered dude in serious need of some dentures rather than the god that he is...well it's just...there are no words.

I mean, if someone is gonna suck your blood, you want them to be hot. Right? Or at least come with some awesomely creepy castle and bags of money instead of some ramshackle shack he can't even be arsed renovating. Not like he hasn't had several centuries to do it in, or anything. Lazy bastard. Clearly spending too much time on Facebook.

If a pervy looking dude looking like this came near me, bloodsucking creature of the night or no, I'd be getting out the holy water too. Cripes.

You've got a lot to answer for, Sava Savanovic.

Don't even get me started on the poor baby that was just named Hashtag. #itsagirl! The world has gone to hell. Thank god I've got my handbasket all picked out.

Yours in disappointment,

Bec xx

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday. And feeding cockroaches to The Enigma.

Hooray it's 50's Housewife Friday!!

Had a crazy week of clean up after the battering we got in last weeks crazy Brisbane storms, one after the next. 

We had the whole sha-bang here in lovely downtown Paddo;  hail, winds and hammering rain. The whole bottom half of our yard was under about 35cm of water which in turn flooded our street causing all kinds of hilarity with traffic and people still insisting on driving through even though it was a lagoon. still the grass could certainly use the rain and our yard now looks lush and green for the first time in quite a while.

Hopefully, this weekend is gonna be high and dry as i have one of my favorite long time BFF's and her family coming to visit and I can't wait to sit on the deck in the sun, sink a few frosty cocktails and watch our kids play together on Fort Skull and bounce on the trampoline. 

She and I were crazy little goth kids together and used to hit the dance floor like possessed banshees and cause a hell of a lot of trouble, so in her honor:

First track of the day:

The Sisters of Mercy - This Corrosion

Followed closely by:

Skinny Puppy - Dig it

One of my favorite moments of the 2 of us together as hell raisers was on my 25th birthday, a gang of around 20 of us went to see the Jim Rose Circus. It was such a great night ;

I was wearing a silver strapless mini dress with a short black furry jacket, fishnets and boots and was sitting in the front row. Jim Rose came down and dangled a live scorpion down my cleavage then later grabbed me and brought me on stage to feed handfuls of cockroaches to The Enigma, while I screamed the house down, as cockroaches and I have a long history of hating each other. For those of you that aren't familiar with Freaks, The Enigma is the guy that is all blue, covered literally head to toe in tattooed jigsaw puzzle pieces. He also has two little horns protruding from his blue forehead, like Satan. Another of my friends was pulled up, had an apple placed in his mouth, which Jim then carved his initials into, with a chainsaw.

Anyway, as we were leaving the theatre, we noticed all the Freaks hanging on the corner. In my usual manner, I stride over, start up a friendship and invite them to join us at The Wonderbar in the Valley for birthday drinks. They happily excepted the invite and we all hit the Valley and tore it up. 

So the next night, like true partiers, my pal and I were back on the long line at the Wonderbar waiting to get in when a bunch of guys turned and looked at us and said

"Hey didn't we see you girls here last night dirty dancing with The Enigma?!"

Yes, yes you did. The very next minute, the Circus Freaks arrive at the club in a taxi, spot us, pull me and my gal out of the line and whisk us through to the VIP section.......

We still talk about it ALL the time.

I don't know about y'all but these days I just don't get to spend time with my gals like I used to. Everyone has serious jobs and kids and responsibilities and the hours spent lying around with my dudes, applying make up, gossiping, ripping our stockings and laughing and dancing for hours seem like a brief gift from God himself. The energy that I was given by my girlfriends always made me feel invincible, thriving like a watered plant. So I'm looking forward to feeling that again by the end of the weekend after much catching up and friendship affirming time spent.

I got to catch up with my Grammar Girls last weekend too so I really have been spoilt for company lately.

So, am organizing a couple of lovely plates of food and today am baking some choc fudge cupcakes with vanilla cream cheese frosting. Keeping it simple for once, very unlike me. 

Although I do have some extreme baking to do on Sunday with a couple of dozen cake pops being donated to my sons school for the  community concert. I really am a pillar of the community!!  (insert sarcastic laughter here)

So I hope everyone has an absolutely awesome weekend, and I'll talk to youse next week!!

I'll leave you today with

Ministry- Jesus Built My Hot Rod

"so there was only one thing that I could do

And that was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"

Have a great week kids xox 

Cathy xx

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.

666 is not the magic number...

So I'm completely gutted (GUTTED!) at the news that 666 Park Avenue has been cancelled after only 7 episodes.

I've recently gotten completely obsessed with this Shining-meets-Lost-meets-Poltergeist series set right in the heart of Manhattan. It's concept of a horror-movie-in-every-ep has had me riveted and glued to my laptop desperate to find out wtf is going on.

Starring Aussie actress Rachael Taylor and Locke from Lost, it's just been one of those TV series that has had me instantly hooked from the '666'.

So sad :(

xx

The perfect storm and Like A Prayer.

So what an action-packed weekend full of crazy laughter and crazier weather!

Yesterday we had a lovely lazy lie-in until about 8:30am and then Toowoomba got pelted with sheets of rain so deafening I was seriously fearing for the little tin roof over my outdoor area. It just bucketed down for about half an hour, drenching my every desire to start out for Brisbane...

Fortunately it cleared and we were off on our trek to the fair Bris-Vegas. Totally uneventful trip, with Elijah playing music man on the ipod, calling out each random play song and asking me if I wanted to play or skip (note to self: review future playlists. As funny as it was to have my son say the next song was 'Hey Asshole' it was likely rather inappropriate).

Reasonably sunny and just a little bit overcast the whole way, we then pulled up at Cathy's house in Paddington to see water halfway across the road. Obviously we'd missed a bit of rain, we assumed, until we saw the video that Cathy had made of the heart of one of the freakiest storms Bris-Vegas has copped in a while. Basically their lower yard was completely flooded and at the height of the shenanigans, water completely covered the entire road, prompting some caught-on-video road rage, much to our amusement.

So last time was bushfires, and now wild and woolly storms...

We couldn't believe we'd basically driven straight down only to avoid even so much as having to turn on the windscreen wipers...

Anyhoo, we then copped a further lashing later in the afternoon, prompting us to question our evening plans but deciding to forge ahead anyway.

So late as always, with NFI where we were going, we set off to Julie's house. Any Brisbanite would know you're either a northsider or southsider, and never the twain shall meet. Going over the river is like entering a different universe for us committed northsiders.

It was the highlight of my night to stop at the bottle shop at Bulimba to be chatted up by a rather cute (and age appropriate!) attendant who even gave me a discount on my de rigeur pink champagne. Come again...

Indeed.

Several wrong turns getting totally lost on the wrong side of the river later...these two losers finally made it to Julie's pad to see some of the most wonderful people in the world.

What followed was a gourmet spread courtesy of Jules and some wonderful conversation with some amazing people...

And then came a crash of thunder that had us pretty much falling out of our chairs. Oh yeah, another freak storm hits...fark.

So radio set on 80s flashbacks at top volume (to cover sound of thunder) and Cathy and I singing at the top of our lungs (OK I let her sing louder), we made it home.

Several hours of chat sitting on top of her outdoor table (the only dry spot outside the house) and stalking people via Facebook on her ipad, we finally flagged sometime after 2am...

Woke up this morning to...you guessed it...another fricken storm.

After waiting it out we hit the road and made our way back up the mountain, stopping to collect some fresh coral trout (baked for dinner and DELICIOUS).

Lady luck was again with us with not a speck of rain the whole way home..we copped a few showers once we were home and safe but how lucky is that?

And I just log onto the weather website again and poor Brisbane is just about to cop another soaking, likely to be worse than any of the previous...

I lived in Brisbane during the floods last year and it was so devastating, but this is so much worse as there is no warning. I hope everyone I love is staying safe and dry.

So road-trip song of the day...Madonna, Like a Prayer. I think this is the last song she did that I ever liked which makes it all the more special. Sing along with it on your next road trip, you won't regret it!

Oh I was also lucky enough to read what Cathy has started to write of her memoirs regarding her father. It was one of the most amazing stories I've ever read and both of us were crying at the end of it (to date...she's not done yet). I feel so privileged to have been allowed this glimpse into an incredible man, the life he led was nothing short of gobsmacking.

Thank you honey for allowing me to be a part of it.

So I'm thoroughly shattered and happy and exhausted and thankful all at the same time...So lucky to have such wonderful people to share my time with but also so happy to be home in my own bed (no offence Cathy, but you're lucky I didn't scream the house down when your cat jumped on me while I was asleep).

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend too! Stay safe Brisbanites!

xx

My second favourite F word. And the kindness of strangers.

Hooray! It's my second favourite F word again and I'm so happy to be looking at the onset of the weekend.

It's been an insane week, just so much going on, I feel I've barely had a chance to breathe. There's been some awesome highlights (beautiful salmon lunch at Christmas party venue) and some lowlights which I won't bore you with.

So something happened yesterday. Anyone who has ever lived in a small town with...well...considerate human beings has probably had something similar happen to them. Coming from a city however, this just blew me away.

So we were looking for a hot water urn for work. I had visions of these pretty stainless steel and black contraptions we had at my last workplace so off we went to look.

So total aside here...urns are effing UGLY! I mean seriously!

So when we see enormous urns for the princely sum of between $250 and $350 I nearly choked. Look, I don't have a problem spending that sort of money, but I have an aesthetic issue and simply refuse to spend it on something so fricken HIDEOUS. And we weren't looking for hot water to service the Taj Majal, so they were way too big anyway.

Anyhoo, so we traversed from store to store (culminating in me taking I think about 6 wrong turns and riding the company car up the gutter...ooops!) to find Betta Electrical in Toowoomba.

Once again their display urns were far too big but when asked for other options, they produced a pretty-as-you-can-get-for-an-ugly-urn smaller Russell Hobbs version. Issue was there was a tiny dent in one side so they had put in an insurance claim for it. We asked how much they'd charge for it and they said $50.

So we were pretty happy with that right? Considering the RRP was about $150 it was a total bargain.

But then the dude looked at the shirt my colleague was wearing and realised which company we worked for. Of course our immediate response was 'oh crap, has the price just gone up to $100?' but he simply pushed the box into our hands and told us that our money was no good here and just to mention them to our purchasing guys.

Uh what?

Walking out of the store we were alternately joking that we felt like we were stealing and then commenting that we should have found a dented laptop as well...

So I'm pretty blown away by this. Seriously has never happened before! Oh I've scored discounts and great deals and something thrown in for free with another purchase, but a gesture of goodwill to simply give us something was pretty bloody amazing.

Look I know they were getting their money back for it on insurance but as we would have been happy to pay for it that's not really the point.

I think I like the small-town life. Or small-city, or whatever the hell this is!

So another reason to be happy for my second favourite F word...

This weekend I get to visit my Brisbane gals and best of all, spend some quality time sinking icy cold Diet Coke on the Housewife's balcony. Hoping some red velvet cake pops are on the baking agenda today....hint hint.

Have a lovely F day all!!!

xx

Wankerism at it's finest.

So I've been entertained the last couple of days watching Melissa George stumble from one faux pas to another.

Now for those that don't know (and most probably are going, who the bloody hell is she and why would I care), Melissa George has made a small name for herself as a working actress in the US, however most Australian's know her best from her long stint as the much beloved Angel from Home and Away.

It's pretty customary in this country for hosts of TV shows that these starlets populate every time they have an envelope to open in a desperate attempt to stay relevant a new project to flog to summarily embarrass them by showing their showreel from yesteryear, preferably something dated circa 1988. The worse hair and costuming, so much the better.

Anyhoo, most of our homecoming artists do get this and cheerfully play along, despite the fact that they're probably ready to set fire to the studio archives.

Not our Melissa. On being shown some footage of Angel with the braids and the unfortunate dress sense, instead she threw her toys out of her cot and then proceeded to burn up Twitter along the lines of she's gonna bill the show because she's done so much free f*#king promotion for them.

My favourite Tweet?

'I'd rather be having a croissant and a little espresso in Paris, or walking my French bulldog in New York City'.

Precious.

Way to burn bridges, sweetie.

Look, I understand she was probably having a bad day but this tweet threw it over the edge into sheer wankerism.

I'll agree that I'd much rather be strolling through the Champs Elysses or perusing Fifth Avenue myself (who wouldn't?), but seriously, wtf?

Apparently she feels that the 'body of work' she has amassed since her H&A days should overshadow this moment in time. Granted, her stint on the soapie was a million years ago but who can remember the last film she's in?

I bet Chris Hemsworth, also an erstwhile H&A castmate who has since gone on to eclipse anything Ms George can lay claim to, has a much better sense of humour about his roots.

Get a sense of humour, darling. It may even add to your range. And next time you consider promoting something, why not do it in NY or Paris instead. My bet is you need us much more than we need you.

xx

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday...tea and Metallica. It's the natural choice.

Woohoo!!! Friday Friday Friday!!

Happy 50's Housewife Friday Kids!!

Hope today finds everyone happy, well rested and ready to get ur housewife on!!

First track of the day:

Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine: Sheriff Fatman

This song takes me back to the early 90's and hanging in London with some very cool Peeps!

Although when I think about London and me and my friends desire to be there, I wish I could go back and hit L.A. instead. A very Me town and the chances of me marrying one of Guns n Roses (not Steven, preferably Duff)  or Joe LeSte from Bangtango would have been much higher.

Anyway, no need to cry over spilt milk.

A busy day ahead y'all.

 Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning in preparation for a hang out on the deck with my delightful mama this afternoon after school,  then a ladies lunch with some of my Family daycare Mums at my fav Paddo hangout, Sassafras.

 Avocado with lemon on sourdough toast, here I come!! These guys do breakfast til 2pm folks! That's a thumbs up from me. A Thumbs down? They've stopped serving Diet Coke!!!!! A very sad decision......will speak to them about this today and see if we can work it out....

My Family Daycare Mums are the mums whose children I have looked after in my home since 2005. Their kids now are at school and I only see them on holidays but I love that my former mums and I are still so close. It means a lot to me to still be so important to them and their kids, who are still my sons favourite friends.

Awwww too nice?

Let's dirty this post up a bit with some...... Wait for it......

Motörhead!!!!!!!

Second track of the day:

Ace of Spades!!

Ahhhh Lemmy. The coolest, ugliest hot guy ever.

But , back to nice: For my beloved Mas visit this afternoon I am adjusting my baking menu slightly to suit her lovely old school, high brow tea drinking preferences.

I am not used to having access to my mother but since my adored Dad died last month, she is suddenly available to me. (There are silver linings to all awful things dudes) But, I don't drink tea or coffee and she is a big Tea drinker, so I am slowly learning the etiquette of all u tea drinking fanatics. I am learning to never serve water that's been off the boil and am beginning to distinguish the difference between an Earl Grey and an Irish Breakfast.

 I was incredibly embarrassed the first time my mother dropped in one morning after her tennis and all I had to offer her was Turkish rose tea which she politely forced down and when she asked if I had any biscuits  all I had to offer was a meal replacement bar, which she declined.

So today is homemade scones with cream and jam which I'll pop in the oven as soon as I get back from lunch. I will then serve the tea in one of the Royal Doulton tea cups with matching saucers and side plates that she's been giving me as gifts for years and throw her the tea party she deserves.

I will refrain from playing track 3:

Metallica - The Four Horsemen

while she is here.

On that note, I shall leave u and get on with my busy Friday.

Track 4:

The Donnas - Take it Off

' cause I get what I want and I like what I see'

Ciao Bellas x

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.

Things that annoy me. Friday edition.

It's that time again, when I've worked up a lovely head of steam that is gonna blow...real soon. Well no, not really, it is Friday after all (my second favourite F word!) so how bad it can it be, right?

But I do have my roundup of this week's pet peeves and grievances that need a forum to air. Because this is really gonna fix it...

Oh well, Things That Annoy Me*

• Hairdressers who don't style your hair the way you like. Or at all. Last night I got a haircut and was asked if I wanted to pay $10 for a blow-dry. Thinking that I wasn't going to wander around with wet hair, and wanting to see the outcome of this long (I mean LONG) overdue haircut, I agreed. Sorry Miss Please Wash Your Hair Sometime This Year, clearly you meant to say 'go directly to dry-ish fluffy hell, do not pass Go' instead of 'blow dry'. End result being a head full of fluff, still partially damp, with a limp fringe. Huh??? It took me 1/2 hour with the straightener this morning just to stop it looking like a bad rug. And just a little note. People with fringes usually dry them forward, not upward and backward, with a slant to the left. The urge to grab the hairdryer out of your grubby mitts and finish the job myself was so overwhelming, I think I gave myself an ulcer. Thanks for nothing. It's a bad day when you look worse than the Trump.

• Sons who get a haircut in the chair next to you by one of Hairdresser from Hell's (heretofore known as HFH) colleagues and gets a) the best cut of his life and b) a complimentary blowdry. FML.

• So I read that there was a $26 million Queensland lottery winner from Tuesday's jackpot that hadn't been claimed. Then apparently some Townsville bloke rang his wife to check the numbers and they were the winners. Bastards. Although you do live in Townsville, so commiserations for that. Maybe you can spend some of your winnings on a removal truck. Or you know, a private jet. Meanwhile I scored $13.70. I won't spend it all at once.

* this is not a complete list

So that's pretty much all I got, which on reflection is a pretty piss-poor effort really. But it has made me remember a point that if my SON was writing this, he'd have as # 1 but I file under 'Taking Advantage of Every Opportunity to Embarrass Your Children' (patent pending).

So last night after our haircuts we wandered through the shopping centre and I bought two Monster High dolls.

I would pretend that they're presents for my nieces or something but they're not.

THEY'RE MINE.

Although last night I made my son carry them and took enormous delight in saying really loudly things to the tune of:

'Don't drop your dollies'

'Hey you've left your dolls on the table!'

and

'You shouldn't be embarrassed about wanting to play with dollies'

So when you see papers filed for minor emancipation, this could well be brought into evidence of the pain and suffering my poor kid endures.

It's my job.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! I was looking forward to cocktails and sunshine but after a beautiful warm sunny week, a huge thunderstorm is coming over and hanging about for a weekend visit. Bastard.

xx

Elections. Herding cats and my #FirstWorldProblem of the day.

To my American friends - congratulations on the re-election of Obama. You probably don't realise this, and I don't mean to feed your egos, but the world is only just slightly less obsessed with your election result as you are! It's on the front page of every news site today (right above Big Brother, we're tackling the big issues here). Yes you are the centre of the universe :)

You'll either be happy or outraged to know the general consensus around these parts is that the right decision has been made. Personally I don't give a fig for politics, but I do like the cut of Obama's jib so hopefully he'll make his second term mightier than the first.

And then his wife can go on and become the new Oprah.

And anything that pisses off the Trump simply CAN'T be bad.

Oh yeah!!

Now this is a stupid question, but did you see that photo? Well of course you did, it's now ranked the highest shared picture like EVER. So cute.

I only wish Australia had such charismatic leaders instead of the muppets we are presented with.

So apologies once again for being a bit quiet this week. Up until yesterday it was like one of those combined hamster wheel (spinning but never getting anywhere) slash herding cats weeks that had me working long hours and feeling utterly shattered.

Yesterday, fortunately for my sanity (which has been hanging on by a thread) was greatly improved so I feel like I'm slightly more back on track.

Some great news to report - I found out last week that my stepsister and her family were considering moving to Toowoomba and yesterday they basically confirmed it. Kids are going through orientation as we speak to commence their new schools next year. I'm so excited to have started a trend here. My stepsister and I grow closer every year and our kids are really really close. My major memories of childhood is playing with my cousins so I think it is wonderful that my son gets to make similar memories with his cousins.

Now if we can only hatch the plan to lure dad and my stepmother here...

I also had a long and lovely conversation with Cathy last night which of course as always covered subjects from the mundane (tired of cleaning up after stinkin kids) through to the supernatural and even randomly touched on the Celestine Prophecy for a bit. That's what we do.

The best part is next weekend I get to spend some time with my lovely gals, staying at Cathy's place in Brisbane before descending on a fellow mate for an old fashioned girls night at her place. Awesome stuff.

And now back to my #FirstWorldProblem of the day...I left my headphones at home and am sitting here music-less, shiftless and something-else-less that really isn't good. My life is over.

Or it will be until I go home and get them in a bit.

Hope you have a wonderful Thursday :)

xx

Back to basics. Tales of an uber-consumer.

It's funny that the older I get the more I get interested in getting back to the basics.

Instead of constantly looking for stuff to do, I now crave peace and quiet and a day spent sitting in the sunshine reading a book sounds like a perfect day indeed to me.

Same goes for my skincare routine as well. In my 20s I was lucky to have a sister who was a cosmetics consultant and scored a lot of free swag, of which I'd apply religiously, and usually all at once (and I wonder why I suffer from adult acne now).

Sadly those days are gone and I am loath to spend hundreds of dollars (nor can I afford to) on the latest and greatest anti-ageing stuff.

The internet is awesome as you can look up anything and read reviews before you spend a cent on the new and improved whatever that probably does as much good in reality as slapping on sunscreen. It's been through the internet that I've discovered two of my greatest secrets that I am utterly and completely obsessed with.

The first one is Rosehip Oil. This came about as I realised I was 'of an age' where a serum was pretty much a total must unless I wanted to resemble a wrinkled prune lady in a few short years or less. Any decent serum seems to carry an equally hefty price tag, of which I simply couldn't see my way to paying. I then heard about Rosehip Oil. I had concerns that it may make my face too oily and clog my already clogged-up-enough pores and exacerbate my adult acne, but for the price I thought I'd give it a whirl anyway.

And I'm really glad I did! Anyone who's put this under a night cream can attest at just how amazing your skin feels. And because it is gentle, it doubles as an eye cream and I swear has also made a difference to the dark circles I've had under my eyes since like forever.

It doesn't work too well during the day as makeup likes to just slip off it, but it's become my total 'must' at night before I go to bed. Love it. Love it.

And whilst I might be of a 'certain age', I am still fighting the good fight on those crows feet and it seems to plump out my between-the-eyebrows angry girl furrows that piss me off so much. Not quite Botox in a bottle, but for the price, I'll take it.

Although clearly this is catching on because the price over just a few years has increased from a mere $7.95 to lucky-if-you-find-it-for-under-$20. Bastards.

My second find is one I only stumbled onto a few months ago and that is Epsom Salts. Apparently this has been known for centuries as basically your everyday miracle remedy for just about anything, but ignorant old me only just found out about it.

Readily available at my local supermarket, it's not really a salt, but Magnesium Sulfate. Apparently most of the population is magnesium deficient (who knew) and by soaking in this stuff you absorb it through your skin and it claims to do the following:

• Detox your body
• Soothe your aches and pains
• Helps you sleep well
• Relaxes your nervous system
• Helps you absorb calcium and nutrients more readily

To be honest, I didn't care about any of that so much as I just wanted soft skin. So when I heard it was an excellent exfoliant, I was sold (baby's bottom elbows, anyone? I swear!).

What I didn't realise, though, was how much it helps your stress levels, reduces tension headaches, and generally makes you feel like a million bucks. Apparently this is because it helps raise your seratonin levels, which let's face it, I need all the help I can get. And it seriously makes your care-factor zero, which may or may not be a good thing.

And you can pretty much use it for anything. Mix it with cleanser, rub it straight on your body, pumice your feet, even remove the buildup from your hair. I also mix it with honey once a week do a deep cleanse and it is DIVINE.

Apparently you can stop slugs, make your garden grow and remove splinters but my care factor about that is pretty much zero. I'm all about the skin here.

So for visitors wondering what the jar of honey is doing alongside my shampoo - there's your answer.

So getting off my soapbox and back on point, it's really exciting discovering some of these 'old wives' remedies that have not only stood the test of time, but are even better than the latest technology. I've had heaps of people thinking I've just been to the beautician as my skin just looks so much brighter and a whole lot less angry.

That's not to say I'll discontinue my practice of being an over-eager consumer any time soon or stop worshipping at the altar of Ebay, mind you. And I've searched everywhere but have still never found a natural, cheap alternative to replace my beloved Benefit Benetint Lip and Cheek Stain. Until that happens, the economy is safe(ish). At least from me.

xx

Lessons learned from Honey Boo Boo and Octomom. There are some (believe it or not).

A lovely lazy weekend is nearly over and I'm pleased to say after a great night's sleep, I woke up feeling like a human being...what a lovely surprise. Thank you antibiotics for doing your job!

So, as only someone who desperately needs a life can, I've enjoyed a weekend doing little but the grocery shopping, a bit of yard work and catching up on my gossip and mandatory inane TV viewing. Oh and making some wonderful, yummy sushi!

So I'm tackling some REALLY big issues today, ie:

Lessons learned from Honey Boo Boo:

• It's the only English speaking television show that requires subtitles. At least I think it's English...the jury is still out.
• For quite some time I've had a desperate hankering to acquire myself a teacup pig (teacup pig! teacup pig! Thank you How I Met Your Mother). Honey Boo Boo has taught me however that the gentle, cute little piggie of my dreams is in reality a REALLY REALLY loud nightmare. Dreams shattered :( So were Honey Boo Boo's when poor old Glitzy was served up for dinner returned to the breeder.
• I truly hope the family have saved plenty of money from scraping up roadkill and visiting the local 'department store' (Georgian euphemism for DUMP) to provide Chubbs with the necessary therapy she will require after being rolled in a stanky mattress and sat upon. Eugh. I'm still scratching just watching. Scariest TV moment ever.
• Sugar Bear eyeing up June like a piece of meat made me throw up in my mouth a little. File under IMAGES I WILL NEVER GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
• Elvis is apparently Santa's toymaker. Who knew.
• Apparently bingo is a 'sport'. OK...
• Quote of the day: 'Having that extra thumb reminds me of a Swiss Army Knife'. Sugar Bear, on baby Kaitlyn. Enough said.
• I will never look at biscuits the same way ever again.

On another note, I read that poor Octomom has admitted herself to rehab for a prescription drugs addiction [CUE RIDICULING TWEETS HERE]. It was inevitable. Seriously folks, if you had a hundred kids you'd be popping the Xanax too. Although someone who willingly inseminates herself with 600 children simultaneously is already enough of the cray cray to probably have stepped off the road to reality quite some time ago. Woman needs a holiday.

And I see that both Rihanna and Lady Gaga had the inspired and so completely original idea to celebrate Halloween dressed as weed. If only they'd gone up in a puff of smoke...but we can only dream. So not hot ladies.

Meanwhile, I didn't receive a phone call today telling me I'd won the lottery so it's off to work tomorrow...SIGH. But the big $120 million is on Tuesday night so if I suddenly disappear without notice you know I'll be lounging beachside sipping cocktails somewhere in Barbados on my private beach. Ah.

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

xx

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday...It's So Easy.

Happy 50's Housewife Friday Y'all

Hope today finds everyone as happy and relieved as me to have the weekend rolling around again. By the way, can't believe it's November already!!  I know I always go on about time speeding up lately but I can't believe this year is already heading to a close.....

Blasting from the stereo on the school run this morning, Seven's choice:

First track of the day : You could be mine - G n R

With ur bitch slap rapping and ur cocaine tongue u get nothing done....

A great way to start the day.

Speaking of my long time loves - the original line up of GnR - I saw on Facebook this morning that they are making a movie of my first ever fantasy boyfriend Duff McKagan's biography, 'Its so Easy'.
Anyone who has spoken to me this year has had this book shoved down their throats, his story so beautifully written, his journey a complete inspiration. It could definitely have done with a lot more sex, but the drugs and rock n roll were more than enough for me to get to know my beloved better.

So I sent him a Facebook stalk message this morning suggesting that I could be in the movie starring as one of his wives or girlfriends. I reasoned that since I unfairly never had the opportunity to be one in real life I should at least get the chance to play one in his movie. Looking forward to hearing back from him heeheeheehee

Anyway, back to the real world....

My 50's housewife duties today have me on the search for the perfect leopard print ballet flat at stupid renovated retail hell called Indooroopilly Shoppingtown,  then I was on the bake for a very special baby boys Naming Ceremony at which my hunky hubby has the honor of becoming Godfather. Some delicious red velvet and chocolate fudge cake pops are on the menu. A nautical theme for some of our bestest friends day,  I am using red and white and blue and white striped straws and they should be pretty damned adorable.

2nd track of the day:

Joan Jett - Do u wanna Touch Yeah!

Followed closely by

The Killers - Somebody told me

A txt photo comes through on my phone as I write this, of my bud Gutterball Pete, wearing an Ace Frehely mask and a top hat, taken out in the city streets this morning......
What a classic end to a very cool and enjoyable 50's Housewife Friday.

Dan and I are heading out tonight to go and see one of our fav bands eva, the mighty Tumbleweed at the Zoo and hang out with some very fabulous people. If ur in BrisVegas tonight, you should def head to the Valley and come join us. U won't regret it.

So time to put these baby cakes in the oven ,chill some beers and put on my reddest lipstick before Dan arrives home from a hard day of manly work. It's easy to be this sweet when it's only expected once a week.

Send off track of the day, Gutterball, this one goes out to you!

Kiss - Love Gun

You hold the trigger of my......dadadadadadadadadadada

Have a great week guys!

Cathy x

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.

Friday is my second favourite F word.

So I've been struggling this week. I've been finding it just about impossible to get out of bed, and no matter how much sleep I get, I wake up exhausted and disoriented. Walking around like a doped up zombie may amuse my colleagues but frankly, I'm over it.

My ears also haven't been feeling good - like someone has a blunt pencil and is poking them repeatedly, not exactly a sharp pain but not the most pleasant experience, nonetheless [INSERT FIRST FAVOURITE F WORD HERE]

So off to the doc's yesterday to find out I have fluid pressing against the inside of my ears - oh joy! [INSERT FIRST FAVOURITE F WORD HERE] Better than an ear infection, I guess, but still...

So nasal drops and antibiotics and hopefully I'll start to feel like a human being in a day or two. Otherwise...well they'd shoot a horse for less, so perhaps it's off to the back paddock for me...

Anyway so I've been dragging my sorry butt around during a week of amazing sunshine and back to nearly-summer days. This may well be contributing to my desire to be sitting in a deckchair beside a sparkling expanse of water somewhere instead of at work/home/anywhere except in a deckchair beside a sparkling expanse of water.

Hopefully this weather will continue through the weekend and you better believe I'll be finding a sparkling expanse of water to lounge beside. Bank on it.

So now onto my second favourite F word - FRIDAY!!!!

What better to talk about on Fridays (other than cocktails/deckchairs/sparkling expanses of water) than friendships (my THIRD favourite F word). Well, I wouldn't be me if I let too much time slip between diatribes on friendships, now would I?

So it was pretty timely to see an article published about the six types of friends everyone should have (click here to read the full article).

It pretty much says what I've always said (GENIUS. Excuse me) - that you need to surround yourself with different types of people who provide different types of 'nourishment'. I've always said that you get different things from different people, for example, if I want to wallow, I call Jane. If I'm ready to get over myself and laugh myself sick and get off the phone in a better mood than I ever dreamed possible, I call Cathy.

So essentially the article says there's six types of friends that you need in your life:

• The friend who's cooler than you
• The friend who is up for anything
• The friend who you aspire to be
• The friend who doesn't know any of your other friends
• The friend who's painfully honest
• The friend you've known longer than you've known yourself

Personally I think six is a LOT of friends (haha) but I totally get it. I have friends who cross a few of these categories as well. So here's the breakdown:

The friend who's cooler than you
Um...like ALL of them????

The friend who's up for anything
Cathy. No hesitation. We spent our teenagerhood closing our eyes and jumping off the cliff and I wouldn't have done half of it if she wasn't beside me.

The friend who you aspire to be

How good is it that I have three! There's Jane and Kathy. Honestly two of the most genuinely NICE, generous and giving people who put everyone else first. Always. You really try to hate them for being so NICE but it's impossible. Just beautiful, inside and out. And Larissa, who I aspire to be in a totally different way. Ballsy, driven and has the courage of her convictions, I so wanna be her.

The friend who doesn't know any of your other friends

I've got lots of these, both in Brisbane and Toowoomba and it's great to get a more balanced perspective. Plus you can bitch about your other friends and they won't find out.

The friend who's painfully honest

Oh yeah, love them AND hate them, but you need one of these in your arsenal. Actually I have three. You know who you are.

The friend you've known longer than you've known yourself

How lucky am I that I have known my 'gang' since I was 14/15 years old. And seeing as I've 'known myself' for only about 5 minutes, there's a lot of people included in this group.

Seriously though, it is wonderful to have old long-time friends where you can make a statement about what's happening in your life and they automatically know EXACTLY what impact this event has on you due to past events.

If I'd written this article though, I would have added another category:

The friend who brings out the best in you

See my blog post on Toxic Friends for those who...well, don't.

So do you have your six? Do you have any other categories you'd suggest? I'd love to hear!

Happy Friday :)

xx