Vampires really do suck.

Ok so firstly with the apologies. It's been forever since I last updated my blog. I have been dealing with all sorts of personal crap in the past week and you know what it's like, it's like you have blinkers on and just need to deal with what's immediately in front of you and you just can't be doing with anything else.

I also hate being a Debbie Downer so when I'm in that sort of headspace it's my way to just retreat from the world at large until I'm fit for human company again.

The good news is, all issues turned out to be misunderstandings and are now done and dusted and life is now back to normal! Thank fark for that.

Also on the upside, my probation period for my new job finished on Sunday. My boss and I have been so busy and like ships in the night lately, prompting him to ask me if I wanted to put a photo of him on my desk to remind me what he looks like...anyhoo, we decided to go into the office on Saturday when it was quiet to get shit done as it just hasn't been lately...

So I reminded him my probation was up and it was his last chance to readily remove me from the premises, and did he want me in the building on Monday? He then told me I was a 'dream' (mind you, he had to think about it for a minute).

I knew we were getting along really well but after what can only be described as a shithouse week, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Time to ask for a raise? What's a dream worth anyways? Or is having me around permanently enough of a punishment for the poor sod?

So anyhoo, all boring personal shit aside, my own dreams have crumbled to dust with the news today that Serbia's first vampire, Sava Savanovic, is now on the loose due to the fact that the old watermill he's been living in has collapsed (on further investigation, this is because the owners of the property were too scared to go in and do repairs in case they made him mad) and now the villagers think he's gonna seek revenge.

True story. The council themselves have issued a formal warning and don't give a crap that the rest of the world thinks they're a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Cue mass sales of garlic and crosses as the locals quickly barricade themselves after dark...and some enterprising young soul will become the new garlic baron of Serbia.

Truly.

So why am I so upset?

Well they published a photo of Sava and contrary to the romantic notions of vampires a la Ian Somerhalder, poor Sava really came from an unfortunate gene pool, one that managed to hit every branch of the ugly tree. I mean...right?

I am not sure if he has fangs or is just dealing with several truly unfortunate dental and hygiene issues.

I'm shattered.

As a vampire romantic, I am addicted to The Vampire Diaries, Twilight (despite crap, crap and crappier movies), True Blood and all things fang. The notion that my beloved Eric (aka Alexander Skarsgard) would more likely resemble some ugly old withered dude in serious need of some dentures rather than the god that he is...well it's just...there are no words.

I mean, if someone is gonna suck your blood, you want them to be hot. Right? Or at least come with some awesomely creepy castle and bags of money instead of some ramshackle shack he can't even be arsed renovating. Not like he hasn't had several centuries to do it in, or anything. Lazy bastard. Clearly spending too much time on Facebook.

If a pervy looking dude looking like this came near me, bloodsucking creature of the night or no, I'd be getting out the holy water too. Cripes.

You've got a lot to answer for, Sava Savanovic.

Don't even get me started on the poor baby that was just named Hashtag. #itsagirl! The world has gone to hell. Thank god I've got my handbasket all picked out.

Yours in disappointment,

Bec xx