Not growing up or getting old with the 50s Housewife...old school style!

Awesome weekend!

It was a heat wave up our way, with temps hitting about 39 degrees at one yucky, sticky point, with no relief to be found anywhere.

So what's a girl to do when her child is away visiting the grand-parentals than hit the shops for her first look at the post Christmas sales?

Well I have to say the sales totally bite the big one. I don't think anything I saw around the traps was any less than it is every second week during a 10-20% off sale. Boo!

A few notable exceptions though:

Colette, oh how I love thee. You're the sushi of handbags - cute, lots of variety, delicious, stylish and affordable...even more so when you mark selected stock down by 50%. I'm loving my fire engine red little bag and enormous electric blue tote that I scored for a grand total of $52. Yes indeed.

Myer - I generally have an issue with your pricing however when I spy a gorgeous fire engine red dress (a wrap dress, but of course) marked down from $140 to the princely sum of $35, how can I resist? Never mind the 5 other wrap dresses in my cupboard...I will make room. I will make room. Amen.

Total score!

OK so that takes me to about 10am Saturday morning and even in the air con I'm starting to sweat and my hair is not even feeling like hair anymore...

So backstory on the hair: in Brisbane I had the most gorgeous hair place which sadly for me came with the price tag to match. Achieving this lovely head of mine definitely comes at a cost. However I had promised myself many moons ago when I was working part-time and broke, that when I went back to work full-time that my gift to myself would be a regular 8 weekly appointment with my gorgeous salon.

Oh how I looked forward to that day, and it was a treat that I never denied myself for 6 plus years.

Then...

About a year or so ago prices just skyrocketed to the point that I could barely afford to live and feed my child, let alone part with $285 hard earned dollars to (ahem) 'enhance' my natural look.

So I had to make the tough decisions: the expensive hair had to go.

(yes I cried).

Since then I have to say I've been bodgy self dyeing (with better results than others) when I can't stand it anymore and getting a haircut at the cheapest place I could find whenever my hair looked so bad I couldn't bear to look in the mirror. As an aside, sometimes you REALLY get what you, ahem, pay for (or not pay for, more to the point). It's a bit depressing when you walk OUT of the salon feeling worse than you went in. I'm just sayin'.

So anyhoo, back on point: lately my hair has just been so vile, it's stringy and sticky and feels dirty even when it's not. The bottom inch or so felt like straw. My gorgeous fringe non-existent. To combat, I became the proud owner of about a gazillion pretty headbands to a) get the strings off my face and b) to try to deflect from the sad state of my locks.

So Saturday morning I was feeling hot and bothered and having a particularly bad hair day. I went to the bathroom, caught an unfortunate glimpse of myself in the mirror and decided this had to stop.

In I walked to Oscar Oscar and said that I was having a hair emergency. Fortunately for me, someone had just cancelled like that minute...it was kismet.

One keratin treatment and quite possibly the best haircut I've had in forever later by a beautiful girl called Jess (who is about to shave her head for Shave for a Cure and will likely look knockout, hair or no), I now have not only a new hairdresser but a brand new girl crush as well. Bring on my next appointment, complete with fixing the 11 different colours I've had through my hair in the past year or so...

I love you Jess.

Even the sweltering heat and the disheartening prospect of trying on a zillion dresses which didn't fit right could take the 'swish' out of my gorgeous hair for the rest of the day.

OK so moving onto Sunday...

I was 'persuaded' to drive to Brisbane, lured by promises of icy cold DC (diet coke for the uninitiated) together with DC cupcakes by Miss Housewife herself (aka Cathy, aka Betty Detox) for a total girly gossip session blog business meeting. Yes, we have big plans for this blog in 2013, so God help you all.

So I hit the road, air con on blast to negate the effects of the heat streaming through the windows, music blaring (see Daggy Roadtrip songs, oh yeah).

DC and guacamole...all the essentials

Pulling up at the housewife's lovely abode, it's totally stinking. I mean, OMG, if Toowoomba was a hot box, Brisbane was an effing sauna. Gah. I was dying of heat exhaustion wandering up the garden path. Ugh.

So meanwhile the housewife hadn't yet baked and not wanting to sit in the sweltering kitchen for even a second, I suggested she put off the DC cupcakes for another time (your son's Australia Day party - I'm holding you to it).

So icy cold DC in hand, we then proceeded to lay on her bed with our heads practically in the fan gossiping and Facebook stalking I mean talking serious blog business. Just like old times.

By the way, check the housewife's Christmas present score - a Laura Ashley apron, just for those special 50s housewife Friday sessions. It works perfectly with her patented black and leopard print fashion style. Unfortunately the cooking sherry wasn't included, but I'm sure she will improvise nicely.

Many hours later (which seemed like 5 minutes) I departed back for home, sides hurting from laughing and not even remotely gossiped-out.

And yes, we talked about the blog. I mean, as in, as I was leaving, 'oh shit, we were gonna talk about the blog'.

Oops.

One of the most exciting things was planning Cathy's 40th birthday party in March, where she'll be recreating the nightclubs of our teenagerhood complete with a dodgy cellar venue and goth decorations. I mean 'classy goth'. There's a difference.

Bring it on babe, I can't wait.

The title of our blog was something I came up with in desperation back in the beginning when I had to call it SOMETHING and didn't really know what. Funnily enough it's become more fitting and more apparent every day that it suits us and our blog down to the ground. It never becomes more clear than when we're together, giggling like the immature little mini me's we were back in the day, and even reflected in our home decorating styles. Cathy pairs (and very successfully) beautiful candle and flower decorations, and skulls. Lots and lots of skulls. Me, I have a penchant for pretty old style china teacups and saucers interspersed with Monster High dolls.

As you do.

It really does seem that we'll never grow up. Or get old. And that's quite all right by me.

So to leave you with yesterday's daggy roadtrip tune that just barely escaped my previous list, simply for the attribute that it didn't quite make the 'daggy' cut. In fact, Wendy James was and is one extremely cool chick. Who seriously doesn't care.

Hope you had an awesome weekend! Stay tuned for some exciting 2013 plans for our blog...once we finally stop gossiping and discuss them.

Bec xx

Things that annoy me. Friday edition.

It's that time again, when I've worked up a lovely head of steam that is gonna blow...real soon. Well no, not really, it is Friday after all (my second favourite F word!) so how bad it can it be, right?

But I do have my roundup of this week's pet peeves and grievances that need a forum to air. Because this is really gonna fix it...

Oh well, Things That Annoy Me*

• Hairdressers who don't style your hair the way you like. Or at all. Last night I got a haircut and was asked if I wanted to pay $10 for a blow-dry. Thinking that I wasn't going to wander around with wet hair, and wanting to see the outcome of this long (I mean LONG) overdue haircut, I agreed. Sorry Miss Please Wash Your Hair Sometime This Year, clearly you meant to say 'go directly to dry-ish fluffy hell, do not pass Go' instead of 'blow dry'. End result being a head full of fluff, still partially damp, with a limp fringe. Huh??? It took me 1/2 hour with the straightener this morning just to stop it looking like a bad rug. And just a little note. People with fringes usually dry them forward, not upward and backward, with a slant to the left. The urge to grab the hairdryer out of your grubby mitts and finish the job myself was so overwhelming, I think I gave myself an ulcer. Thanks for nothing. It's a bad day when you look worse than the Trump.

• Sons who get a haircut in the chair next to you by one of Hairdresser from Hell's (heretofore known as HFH) colleagues and gets a) the best cut of his life and b) a complimentary blowdry. FML.

• So I read that there was a $26 million Queensland lottery winner from Tuesday's jackpot that hadn't been claimed. Then apparently some Townsville bloke rang his wife to check the numbers and they were the winners. Bastards. Although you do live in Townsville, so commiserations for that. Maybe you can spend some of your winnings on a removal truck. Or you know, a private jet. Meanwhile I scored $13.70. I won't spend it all at once.

* this is not a complete list

So that's pretty much all I got, which on reflection is a pretty piss-poor effort really. But it has made me remember a point that if my SON was writing this, he'd have as # 1 but I file under 'Taking Advantage of Every Opportunity to Embarrass Your Children' (patent pending).

So last night after our haircuts we wandered through the shopping centre and I bought two Monster High dolls.

I would pretend that they're presents for my nieces or something but they're not.

THEY'RE MINE.

Although last night I made my son carry them and took enormous delight in saying really loudly things to the tune of:

'Don't drop your dollies'

'Hey you've left your dolls on the table!'

and

'You shouldn't be embarrassed about wanting to play with dollies'

So when you see papers filed for minor emancipation, this could well be brought into evidence of the pain and suffering my poor kid endures.

It's my job.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! I was looking forward to cocktails and sunshine but after a beautiful warm sunny week, a huge thunderstorm is coming over and hanging about for a weekend visit. Bastard.

xx

Thursdays that feel like Fridays. And great hair moments.

God I'm loving where I live! I simply couldn't make myself get out of bed for about 45 minutes this morning and kept hitting snooze repeatedly, and yet still managed to throw myself together and get to work by 7:30am. Awesome.

I thought perhaps there'd be a few sore heads around after the dismal State of Origin result last night and people rolling up 'late' for work (ie. after 7:30am) but how wrong I was. If anything there were more cars in the carpark than usual and I felt like I was the one who was late!

On the plus side, I mastered a new skill today. It's called the 'waterfall braid' and if I only devoted as much time to my work as I do my hair, I'll be the most kick-ass assistant in the southern hemisphere. Scratch that, the universe.

Priorities.

It's so pretty! And as it took less than 5 minutes I think I'll be adopting a new style on a pretty regular basis.

Big shout out to Pinterest for giving me so many ideas of how to survive bad hair days with a semblance of grace and dignity. Now if only it could help with my terminal foot-in-mouth disease and inexplicable sense of humour...

Had a fantastic day at work, although my brain repeatedly told me it was Friday, which seeing as we've had a four-day week is slightly problematic. I had that Friday rush thing going on, you know, when you're desperate to flee the office and are madly trying to wrap everything up. I would then realise it was only Thursday but 5 minutes later the brain is telling me, quick, you want to get out for the weekend...

Despite (or perhaps because of) this, I had probably the most productive day in my new job and really feel I can be a great contributor there. Feeling really comfortable but just slightly stretched, which is exactly how I like to be.

Plus someone brought in their fabulous espresso machine which I thoroughly enjoyed, both smelling and imbibing. Thank you anonymous colleague for your contribution to the greater good.

I'm so excited for the weekend, I'm determined to follow my aforementioned plan of attack for my new life by discovering somewhere I've never been and soaking up the atmosphere of this fabulous little city. I haven't quite decided what to do yet, but if you know Toowoomba then feel free to shout out a few ideas of how I can amuse myself and E!

On the downside, I really feel like I do need to go and get my hearing checked out on my left side, I had my earphones in and was listening to music today which was so soft I could hear every word of two dudes' conversation a cubicle over from me (on the right) but then found out someone had been calling me a few times on my left hand side and I didn't even hear! Hmm, this might not be good. I've been blessed with great eyesight and hearing in the past so it's slightly worrying to not be able to register sounds as well as I usually could in the past.

So I'm wracking my brain trying to come up with ideas for my silly jar.... I guess the old brain is slightly fatigued and full of information from our seminar this week and all the things I want to accomplish at work, but the ideas just ain't a-comin. Have you got any inspiration for me? Feel free to post them in the comments as I want to get a sense of fun back into every day. Here's my sparse and kinda pathetic list below:

• Wear my earmuffs at my desk all day
• Adopt the nanna blanket
• Daggy dance in the work kitchen (extra points if anyone sees me)

So that's it so far. The jar will have to be pretty damn small or else it's just sad.

How's your Thursday? What plans are you gearing up for this weekend?

xx

The topknot. Fashionista or fashion fail?

Everyone has that one hairstyle that they just can't bear the sight of. For me this has always been the topknot.

Of course there's also the reverse porcupine, but we won't even go there. There are some things that are just too traumatic to discuss.

From teenagerhood where my boyfriend described the topknot look as being 'like a dog doo on her head' to present, the topknot has been one of those things that I've always looked at and cringed.

And don't get me started on the loose topknot/tight headband combo which leaves the wearer looking like an upside-down mushroom. I have coined a term for this look - 'the inverted mushroom' (patent pending).

However in the past year or so something strange has happened. The topknot is currently enjoying a fashion resurgence, which generally would fill me with the utmost horror, however every now and again I see a girl rocking it and actually...well...rocking it.

I've been studying this trend and think I might have discovered that magical difference between looking fashion forward and fashion fail.

Look, if you're heading to the shops in your trackies and Uggs, and you want to throw your hair in the so-called classic topknot to get it off your face, then knock yourself out.  My gripe is with those who are clearly trying to be fashionable, OK?

Here's my tips if you must insist on being a trend follower. My preference is to do my own thing, but hey, we all dance to the beat of different drums:

1. Location: the perfect topknot location varies from person to person depending on your headshape. It must be high enough to categorically BE a topknot. Otherwise it's just a bun. But if it is even a smidgen too high, you go from looking chic to well, for want of a better term, looking like a dick. If it's hanging over your forehead, you look like an idiot. Someone has to say it.
2. Size: I really hate the tight topknot that looks like a little knob or antenna hanging off the top of your head. But then sometimes you see an effort that goes just too far the other way, like they were involved in some sort of inexplicable science lab explosion and forgot to fix their hair. Rule of thumb: if it's bigger than your head, you've gone too far. The happy medium is slightly loose and wispy, not too 'done' but not too underdone either. The whole point of the look is to appear like you just threw it together in a few seconds. But the same rules apply as the 'no-makeup makeup' look - to achieve the perfectly undone looking topknot, you need to spend longer to make it look like you spent less. Makes perfect sense, right? If you actually DID throw it together in a few seconds, unless you're a hairdresser, it's likely a fail. OK?
3. Foundation: the initial ponytail that forms the foundation of your topknot can't be too loose. Or tight. Your hair should look relaxed and casual but if you do reserve the right to 'do' the inverted mushroom, I reserve the right to laugh hysterically.
4. Hair: the condition of your hair plays an important part in this too. Dirty, bedraggled hair in a topknot looks like you've just given up. Seriously, use a brush. And please, and I mean please, never do this with wet hair. If I need to spell it out then this post is not for you.

There's even 'tools' available in stores these days - those little donut thingies that supposedly allow you to achieve the perfect 'fat' topknot. Apparently you can replicate one at home with a rolled up sock, but clearly you need more skill than I as I simply look like some sort of weirdo with a visible sock in my hair.

Personally I think I'll leave the trend alone. I don't think I have the right shaped head for it and frankly, pulling my hair on top of my head for extended periods of time just gives me a headache. Or perhaps that's just post-traumatic-stress from so many years of ballet classes and being forced to scrape our hair into immovable buns with pins sticking every which way into my brain.

Actually that explains a lot.

So what's the verdict? Do you like the topknot? Am I just fashion backwards and 'past it' for my aversion to this trend?

xx

I don't hate this.