What are the Best Worst Daggy Roadtrip Songs of all time?

Welcome to 2013!!!

I hope you all had a fabulous NYE and are awaking today sans hangover or riding the porcelain bus (I am happy to say I woke up after a luxurious sleep in feeling fantastic).

So I've been thinking, what should my first post of the new year be? Now that we've partied like it's 1999 (remember when that song came out and 1999 might as well have been the year 3000 the way we looked at it?) I thought I should do something to commemorate the new year.

Starting as I mean to go on and all that.

So I was gonna go deep. And then I thought....

Nah.

So instead I'm going to do my countdown of the ten eleven best daggy songs to sing out loud on a road trip.

Why? Well over the past couple of weeks I seem to have been in the car more than out of it, bound for Tenterfield, bound for Brisbane, etc. And as I have already permanently damaged my poor son's psyche by belting out some of the best, sing-along daggy tunes, I thought I'd share. Cos I'm caring like that.

Now I do have to add that not only do I sing these LOUD, I also sing these...well...

Let's just say my singing voice would probably shatter glass and the eardrums of any lesser individual. Let's be frank...dogs howl and cats yowl when I get started. I'm bad. Seriously bad. Which made this particular pickup line I was on the receiving end of in my twenties particularly amusing:

'You look like you're a really great singer'.

And the following comment after drunkenly taking to the karaoke mike (never a good move) to belt out my own personal rendition of 'Should I Stay or Should I Go' by The Clash:

'Well, at least they got up'.

Um...yeah...

Do I care, however?

Not particularly.

So here's my New Year countdown of the 10 11 Best Worst Daggy Songs to Sing Along To on a Road Trip. OK now that's a mouthful...but then again, so's my singing...

Why 11 you may ask? Well I was originally going to compile just 10 but there were 11 just screaming at the gate, not to mention dozens more in hot pursuit. Clearly I need to revisit my music collection...STAT. But then again, if I de-daggified my tunes what would I sing along to in the car? And why do so many of them originate from the 80s? Questions to ponder...

So here we go:

Number 11

That's What Friends Are For by pretty much all the greats from the good old 80s. I don't even butcher this one. Hardly. Keep smiling, keep shining... 

Number 10

Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond. Come on, who can't resist belting out the chorus at top volume (including the 'BOM, BOM, BOM', despite the fact that no-one really knows any of the other words? Blurry memories of smoky pubs abound. Neil is the gift that keeps on giving.

Number 9

Baby Got Back - Sir Mix Alot. Seriously bad song, seriously good singing. Brings all sorts of visuals of Cameron Diaz daggy white girl dancing on Soul Train. Turn it up Sir...

Number 8

U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer. Now why is it that I song I couldn't stand in 1990 suddenly makes me want to (badly) emulate Mr Hammer and his happy pants dance? And let's face it, can anyone hear 'Stop?' without responding 'Hammer Time'????? Although watching the vid makes me exhausted.

Number 7

Oh Yeah - I don't even know who...ahem...sings this one. Considering there aren't even any lyrics, I still get a massive kick out of screaming out the sound effects along with the random 'Beautiful'. Thank you Ferris Bueller. Yes I do feel very sorry for my kid....

Number 6

Candy - Mandy Moore. So poor Mandy actually refunded anyone who bought her first bubblegum pop album because she's so ashamed of it, which makes butchering Candy a particularly guilty pleasure. And how cute is she?...

Number 5

I'm On My Way - The Proclaimers. Sung complete with accent. Enough said.

Number 4

King of Wishful Thinking - Go West. Julia Roberts hooking up a storm. What's not to love?

Number 3

If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher. Well, what can I say? Will any of us ever forget the image of Cher straddling a cannon surrounded by sailors...there are some things you just can't unsee, no matter how much you want to...where's the bleach?

Number 2

Make Me Lose Control - Eric Carmen...I'm not sure what it is about this song that reminds me of hot summer nights and daggy 80s dancing...oh wait. Digging that 'do, Eric. Not really.

Number 1

We Are The World - USA for Africa. None of this new-fangled revival shit, mind you. Who can't help but sing along?

So there you have it. Arguably my top 10 11 but even as I've been 'researching' I've come up with heaps more so there may well be a volume II in the pipeline. God help us all.

So what's your favourite guilty-pleasure tunes to road trip to? Make your own list and let me know so I can laugh along?

Hoping your intro to 2013 has been as much fun as mine!!!

Bec xx

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999...or something. Farewell 2012.

It's completely crazy that today is the last day of 2012.

In some ways, it feels like forever since last New Year's Eve, but then on the other hand the year has flown by.

Looking back, I can barely believe where I am today compared to this time last year, and for the first time in a few years I am going to celebrate the end of a hugely successful and wonderful year instead of commiserating and just being thankful that the bloody year has finally ended!

So 2012 really was my year. I didn't win the lottery (yet...see resolutions for 2013 haha) but after a few hellish years it is so wonderful to say that this year provided so many more ups than it did downs.

I guess a huge one is my move to Toowoomba. Who would have ever thunk it that this here precious urban princess would have found her home in small town Toowoomba and settled in like I'd lived here forever? Not a backward glance. Not a single one.

And of course a huge part of that is the fantastic job I scored that I think I was born to do. I've just completely fallen on my feet and I thank god for the day I sat on the bus thinking, 'this is no way to live' and opened my laptop to fall upon the job ad. It's kismet.

Yesterday I also achieved a major milestone - I got to see my sister and her lovely family for the first time in too many years. Sharing a wonderful few hours together and seeing my niece grow from a baby to a gorgeous little girl just made my heart sing. I don't think you've been able to wipe the smile of E's and my face since. I'm looking forward to many more times together in 2013.

E and I, Christmas Day 2012

Christmas was also just wonderful. Santa crept into the living room and left E a sack as big as himself chock full of all sorts of things. And he got the 'book safe' (ie. the safe that looks like a book) that he wanted, which has now become the receptacle for all his 'treasures' (eg. Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and Jelly Bellies).

My Christmas Present from E.
He gets his taste from his mum.

We then set off for an uneventful drive to Tenterfield, to unwrap yet more presents with dad and my stepmother. Not to mention 'taste testing' the Moet (for quality control purposes of course. It took me quite a number of glasses to determine it warranted my seal of approval).

Seeing E's face light up was priceless, particularly when the piece de resistance - a laptop computer, was unwrapped from his amazing grandparents. His old computer barely even goes anymore and with him entering high school, an updated version was getting to the necessary stage. He has barely been off it since!

I also really, really wish I'd taken a picture of our Christmas dessert. My stepmother is coeliac and also has to follow a strict FODMAP diet, which can be seriously challenging.  However, her gluten free chocolate cake with berries and lactose free icecream was divine. Sadly, I was too keen to dig in to capture it for posterity.

And of course, almost most importantly, in 2012 I started this blog!!!

It's so wonderful to have this online journal, so to speak, that I can look back on and read over my entries. It almost seems like a different person wrote all the beginning ones where it's clear I was itching for a change. I love the fact that this blog is like a time capsule in that way. Very cool.

All in all, I have so many blessings to count from 2012, and feel like I'm a very lucky girl! Seriously, if you'd seen me this time last year, I deliberately stayed home and went to bed early just because I wanted to wake up and have the year that was be gone.

Taking my job as champagne
Quality Controller seriously

So this is awesome.

So I'm not much of a resolutions type of girl but it seems pretty obligatory to at least have a few so here goes:

• To have my father not say 'you're not that great a housekeeper'. Scratch that, never gonna happen. Sorry dad.
• To start writing my blog a lot more regularly again. I think at one stage I became too consumed with my blog that it was invading every waking moment and ruining 'real life'. Like, I'd be out and about and seriously just be seeing the world through 'blog glasses'. Not cool. So I got blog lethargy there for awhile but I resolve to make a comeback in 2013...god help you all.
• To spend more time with my friends. I've become a bit withdrawn this past year just due to the fact that I had a few periods of sickness (damn you Toowoomba flu) and with the new job and house and everything, it was all just a bit much at times. I draw inwards when I get a bit overwhelmed so now's time to open back up and invite people in! Certainly being on holidays helps although I barely feel like I've sat down and yet I'm halfway through...eep!
• To stop being a bitch about the Cliffos and VPL. Yeah scratch that one too.
• Apparently my stepmother said that 2013 has to be the year I find myself a man. Oh. Dear. God. I'll keep you posted.
• To stop embarrassing my son in public. Yeah. Right.
• To win millions and buy a day spa where my stepmother and I will be employed as 'Quality Control Consultants'. It's an important job.
• To not drink my body weight in fine champagne at every given opportunity. Well, what else it is there for?
• To have an even more fabulous year than 2012 was!!!

So there you are. I resolve to be happy and healthy and wealthy...hahaha!

What are your resolutions? Did 2012 treat you well or will you be partying like it's 1999 tonight (sorry, bad Prince reference there) just became the damn year is finally coming to a close?

I'm happy to say that I'll be celebrating the former!

See you in 2013 y'all!

xx

T'was the night before Christmas...

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house...

Comes the most amazing waft of lamb roast for our 'family tradition' pre-Christmas dinner!

Elijah was quite small when he suggested we start our own tradition of just the two of us (our very own little 'family'). The dinner was his idea and whilst I carry the burden of the actual cooking, he takes great delight and enormous pride in decorating our table every year.

This morning our dining table was covered in the usual pre-Christmas detrius...wrapping paper, some unwrapped Christmas presents, wrapped presents that never quite made it to the post office (sorry everyone!!!) and a huge gift basket that I was lucky enough to win in our work social club raffle on Friday.

Well now it's full of candles and Christmas crackers and all sorts of Christmassy things, thanks to the imagination and dedication of a kid who pretty much dedicates his life to Christmas!

I am fortunate to have probably the only 12 year old in existence who still believes in Santa with his whole heart. For days the conundrum has been where to hang his stocking in the most prominent of places, what we'll leave out for Santa to eat, what we're having for Christmas dinner and what time is he allowed to come and annoy me wake me up in the morning. And the all-important 'can I look at my Santa presents before I wake you up if it's too early?'.

I seriously have a kid that's so good to be true, that I truly don't know where he came from!!!

Not only does he wholeheartedly dedicate himself to the mantra of Christmas always being more about giving than receiving...seriously! I said to him the other day, 'seriously buddy, tell the truth, it's about the presents isn't it?'. His response? 'No, I just get excited seeing the expressions on people's faces when they open my presents'.

All together now....awwwww

Like I said...he didn't get that from me. I was the little shit shaking every present and searching the cupboards madly for the stash of gifts with my name on it. And keeping score with my sister? Oh, you betta believe it!

But this one takes the cake:

The other day we saw a wishing well and E asked if he could have a go. He then asked if he could give his wish to others rather than wishing for himself. When I asked him what his wish was, he said that he hoped every child in hospital would get to go home and be well for Christmas.

OK now...collective double awwwww.

It makes my heart sing to know that my old age is in great hands if there's kids like E about who care more for others than themselves. I am certainly not one of them naturally (as I said on the phone to my stepmother yesterday, I was, and likely still am, a selfish little shit).

So I'm off to enjoy our Christmas dinner with my own little family. Then off to Tenterfield tomorrow after breakfast and a marathon Christmas tree session to enjoy lunch with dad and my stepmother. It might not be the most traditional family unit, but it's incredibly special.

What traditions do you enjoy at this time of year? I'd love to hear.

Bec xxw

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday. Happy Apocalypsmas!!

Am unsure as I am writing this if this is my " 50's  Housewife Friday Christmas Edition " or my "50's Housewife Friday  Apocalypse Edition ".........

so I decided to combine the two on this fine day and start by saying a very

Happy 50's Housewife Friday APOCALYPSMAS !!!!

As I am currently not being showered with fireballs from above, but did see 8 Santas this morning at Indro, the front runner for the day is Christmas so.....

First Christmas Track of the day:

RUN DMC - Christmas in Hollis

Possibly my favorite ever Christmas Carol :)

But back to the apocalypse.......

So the Mayans ran out of room on their daily sculpting tablet 8000 years ago and now we get to be the generation that is here to meet the Four Horsemen - Death, Famine, Time, and the other guy.

Quite an honor.

In case uv been living in a cave, today, Friday the 21st of 12th, 2012, is the day forecast so many years ago as the prestigious date of the end of the world as we know it.

This has been, unfortunately, the  topic in my home for the last 18 months. My sons have been planning their weapons for the Zombies that are supposedly set to rise, (whilst making out Christmas lists.....) and every time there is a natural disaster anywhere in the world, my husband shakes his head and says inevitably,

'See babe, end of the world.... 2012....."

I try to assure them that it's in the same vein as the year 2000 y2k bug phenomenon but as Seven was only 3 then and Xavier was  4 yrs away from being born they look at me quizzically then, sadly, as if they are concerned about my extreme state of denial. Poor unprepared Mum........

Second track of the day is for them, in their hope for a heavy metal album cover version of the Hell that they all seem to be anticipating like a day at Soundwave.......

Metallica (of course) - The Four Horsemen

Time - taken its toll on you, the lines that crack your face Famine - your body it has torn through, withered in every place Pestilence - for what you had to endure and  what you have put others through Death - deliverance for you for sure, now there's nothing you can do

Wahnanananananaenenenenanananananana ( <---------- ) guitar solo.

Speaking of Hell:

Christmas.....hahahahahah just joshin........I fucking LOVE christmas.

Am planning a weekend of baking for some delightful Christmas Pops for our family gatherings over the next week but dear lord.......no Rudolphs!!

Those of you that know me know that I had a tragically scarring, smashing experience with 25 painstakingly decorated Rudolph Pops for Xaviers class last Thursday and will know never to speak of them to me again.....

Am gonna keep it simple stupid and do a couple of Christmas glittery Pops and some cute little Snowmen Pops ( Ahhhhh Snowmen, so relevant for Brisbane's current stinkin hot temperatures and suffocating stinkin humidity) Chocolate coated chocolate of course and some lovely white choc coated Confetti vanilla Pops. Was thinking of a lovely red velvet pop - red for Christmas and all, but the red velvets have proven to not be a hit with the kids. Adults love em but the kids prefer chocolate so.....give the masses what they want ay?

3rd track of the day is sung by an artist who, when she first came on the scene, caused many to  predict the Apocalypse then and there:

Madonna - Santa Baby

I've been an awful good girl

My fav version of that song fer sure, she's just so darn cute!!

On a serious note, I know I don't usually share too much personal info with y'all but seeings as it's Apocalypsmas and all.......

I lost my Dad this year and this is my first ever Christmas without him. He loved Christmas soo much and some of my very favourite memories ever are of him and mum and my bros and sis and the wonderful and magical Christmases we shared.

From putting up and decorating the Christmas tree as a family each year with Christmas records blasting from Dads top of the line stereo two weeks before Christmas, to my pilot father coming home all excited on Christmas Eve to tell us that he had just flew past Santas sleigh (I cant tell you how much that authenticated the magic of Christmas to a bunch of little kids) The mountain of presents awaiting the four of us spoilt brats each Christmas that we had to open slowly, each person taking their turn as we all had to see what they had gotten - none of this 'everyone tearing the presents open at once' stuff.

Even after my Dads stroke, when he could no longer speak, he would use his thumb and his buzzer, his only means of communication, to beep out the number of the grandchild ( we all had a number) whose turn it was to open a present. This will be our first year without that and it will be so sad,  but it makes me more aware of how special and fleeting these moments are with my family, especially my precious boys, and make me more determined to make their lives happy and magical so hallelujah to that. Im sure thats exactly what my biblical boyfriend, spunky long haired Jesus, would want on his birthday, oh and probably for the Apocalypse too.

Everyday fools!!!

Ya dig?

On that note, I'm more assured as each second passes that we, the human race, will in fact and intact survive another week here on our amazing planet. If it doesn't get destroyed by the end of today let's all really appreciate it and love it and show it that we care. Huh? Oh and each other....

Merry Christmas to all and to all a wonderful Apocalypse. Oh and if the Zombies DO come, remember, aim for the head and always double tap x

Last track of the world...ever...., maybe....

REM - its the end of the world (as we know it)

And yes, I do feel fine!

Cathy xx

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.

It's the end of the world (as we know it).

So just in case the Doomsdayers are right...

Thank you to everyone who's read my blog and contributed comments. I thought when I started this that it would be Cathy and myself giggling to ourselves over our inane sense of humour. Turns out a bunch of you 'get' us which is deeply mystifying, somewhat disturbing....and wonderful. So in case the planet is obliterated or zombies invade or whatever, then good luck to you and yours.

To the Doomsday conspiracists(?) and those damned Mayans - well you get the last laugh, OK?

Yes, you were right.

Not that you can read this, unless your underground bunker somewhere in deepest darkest Alaska is equipped with the latest in wifi or modems or whatever the hell is the latest techno-geek thing that allows you to get internet access.

Although if you've not got better things to do to prep yourselves for the end of the world than read my blog, then my sympathies are with you.

And just an aside, I would like to point out that standing on a roundabout for days with a giant sign saying the world is ending may not have been the most practical use of your remaining time in the world as we know it. I mean, what?

Personally I guess I'm a fatalist. If the world is gonna end, then there's not much point spending my life savings up to my credit card limit stocking up on supplies when they'll likely just be blown up in some cosmic catastrophic event anyway. Although at least the creditors won't be around to come a-calling.

And if there's no access to pretty shoes or Bubble Witch Saga on Ipad in the post-apocalptic aftermath, then seriously, beam me up Scotty.

And my survivalist skills suck. I mean, camping? Ugh.

I'd like to give a shout out to all the things I'll miss horribly once the zombies eat my face off or...worse...turn me into one of them where I will no longer care about personal hygiene or going outside of the house without makeup...

• E, my #1 son who has made the last twelve years of my life a blast
• My lovely, nutty family - you're all very 'special' and I love you dearly
• My 'grammar girls' who'd made me laugh, cry and embarrassed me at every opportunity...life without you is just no life at all
• The Claw at Dreamworld. I will miss you horribly when you sink into a pit of lava that will mysteriously form underneath in the most dramatic fashion possible. Although it will be a wonderful visual for Youtube, should internet/wifi be worked out quickly in the post-apocalptic world
• Sushi. Enough said

So for my definitely not potentially last hours here, I'm gonna party like it's...well like it's 21 December 2012. Because, ya know, that differs from any other day....

So good luck to you and yours and if you're not flexible enough to bend over and kiss your own ass goodbye, then let's just hope the old stonemason from ye Mayan times simply popped off this mortal coil before starting on the next 5,000 year calendar...

Until tomorrow...I mean...oops...

Bec xx

The joy is in the giving....um NOT!

So I ran out to do a few errands this morning and came back to a huge present sitting on my chair from my boss.

I am now the proud owner of a gorgeous Oroton handbag, together with a pretty hefty shopping voucher and I'm THRILLED and overwhelmed!!!!

(I couldn't help myself, I googled the price of the bag and am double thrilled but a part of me is going....GULP).

After only being here for six months and used to getting what I thought were most generous presents (at the time) from my old workplace of 7 years, I'm not sure how to react!

For the past few weeks I've been amassing gifts for our managers on behalf of my boss so I knew he was a pretty generous guy. Strike that - INCREDIBLY generous guy. I was totally blown away by the hampers we've put together for our guys (and if they don't appreciate them, I'll take them off their hands, thank you very much) but really wasn't expecting much myself - see above - only 6 months!

I was also lucky enough to be able to give over a card and voucher to one of our guys who's family is doing it pretty tough at the moment. You know, it's quite thrilling to call someone up and tell em the big boss has something here for them...you see their knees knocking as they're walking towards you and a bit confused as they're walking away...and you just KNOW they're just waiting to be out of your eyeline to rip open the envelope to find out what the heck it's about.

I love playing Santa, even if it is on someone else's behalf!

So now the conundrum...what do I buy my boss? Seriously, the guy who has everything but wants nothing. And even the wine he's used to drinking is probably FAR out of my price range!

What's the best present you've ever gotten? And how do you react to getting a present of unexpected proportions? I don't want to embarrass the guy, he's the type who'd rather have it delivered to your home than hand it over personally, but I do want to be appropriately grateful?

And meanwhile, I'll be coveting and stroking my new handbag like a kid with a new toy!

Bec xx

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday. The end is not the end.

A rainly 50s Housewife Friday.

Very befitting for the circumstances of today, a day that will forever go down in Australian history.........Daniel Morcombe's funeral.

His mind blowingly brave, long suffering, grieving parents, Denise and Bruce, along with Daniel's brothers, finally get to say their goodbyes and lay their little man to rest, 9 years to the day that he was kidnapped and murdered.

A very close friend of mine is a Sunshine Coast celebrated journalist and is attending the funeral, the same way she has attended each and every annual Daniel walk, with her pooch in tow, and this year for the first time, with her baby daughter along as well.

She told me yesterday that she would be feeling so sad for Daniel today and expressed her grief at the life he has lost and I sympathized with her, but then told her my take on things.

Once, I had many uncertainties about the after life. As a young child I would often cry and hug my mother, pleading with her to never die and  leave me.

'Everbody dies, ' she would say ' but everyone you love that has passed will be waiting for you in Heaven.'

'What a crock,' I would think of this answer. How the hell could she possibly know that??!

Since then, hours of my time has been spent contemplating death (always a good goth), this Heaven place, the meaning of life.... I have even somehow passed this along to my eldest son who has often woken me at night, crying, worried about what happens when u die, and of losing those he loves. I would comfort him as best I could, explaining to him that we'll never know. We will never be sure of what awaits us, and I would hate for him to waste his life worrying about something that you can never possibly know the answer to.

Recently he said again 'what if there's just nothing, just darkness. What  if we're just dead!'

But, since my adored father died, I have lost my fear of dying. I know now that something awaits me on the other side. The energy I felt just hours after my Dad left us makes me sure that there is that connection. My father will be waiting for me when I get there. I cant tell u how comforting that is to me. So I told my son, in answer to his fears, that I have never seen any evidence that there is nothing. I have however seen evidence of something. Something good.

So I believe that Daniel is at peace. He is now in a better place, flying, soaring, comforted by his ancestors, feeling no pain. The suffering is of those of us left behind, his family who have had to live it every  day, who still get no satisfaction from the dirty, cowardly, scum lord that randomly took their precious child from them. He dares to sit in court across from them and plead his innocence, drawing out even further the Morcombe family's  journey through Hell. A journey he set their feet upon 9 years ago. I pray for them that this last trial they have to endure will be speedy and complete so they may finally themselves find some peace.

I would love to assure the Morcombes that their little boy would be incredibly proud of their strength and totally stoked at the legacy he has left here with us. A safer and more united country. In his name, protection and awareness for our children. A young life that amounted to so much. He represents to all of us parents our own children and knowing that he is watching out for them is a comfort to all of us.

Congratulations to you, Bruce and Denise, for the way you have dealt with this ordeal and God Bless you for your efforts and the dignity and respect you have constantly shown.

I don't know if I could have behaved with such dignity under these circumstances.

So have a great 50's Housewife Friday guys. Hug your children a little tighter tonight when u kiss them goodnight and dig deep for the Daniel Morcombe Foundation this Christmas ay?

R.I.P little fella x

Cathy xx

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.

Try-hards, Twihards and Blow-hards.

To the wannabe coolios wandering the aisles of Coles Clifford Gardens this morning playing 'Gangnam Style' at top volume.

Try again.

Ditto the girls squealing over the One Direction diaries.

But thanks anyway for the giggles.

So I'm seriously as excited as a little wannabe pre-teen with Bieber-Fever that Willow and I are gearing up to see the final installment of Breaking Dawn.

I know, I know, the movies suck. We all know this and speaking as a Diehard Twi-Hard, I totally acknowledge it.

But it doesn't stop me wishing and hoping that maybe...just maybe...this time it won't totally blow.

Speaking of blow, and things that are hard... (oops I didn't quite mean that the way it came out)...

To the skanky chickie-babe wearing clothes three times too small (my eyes!) and grubby old bogan (aka Aussie white trash) I saw walking from the carpark to the shopping centre:

I personally don't give a rats if you choose to wander around barefoot on a sweltering hot day. However please, please (and I'm begging PLEASE) put some shoes on your kids. Either that or don't scream at them in public because their poor little feet are burning from the blisteringly hot concrete.

Poor kids. They don't stand a chance.

One word:

Blowhards.

(that may be two words but it didn't quite have the same effect).

I just realised there are an awful lot of awesome sounding words that end in 'hard'.

OK I just read that sentence back and once again...oops.

Hope you're having a wonderful weekend. I'm just trying to cool off from a ridiculously hot day here in sunny old Toowoomba (words I never thought I would use in a sentence).

xx

Are you a psychopath?

So I was reading this interesting article a few weeks back about this new phenomenon (or old one really, they've now just put a name to it) of corporate psychopaths. They've probably been around since one caveman beat another one over the head for his hard-earned hunt or to impress some chick, but these days they're far cleverer and more devious than ever.

It got me thinking of all the office psychos I've had the misfortune to call my colleagues over the years.

And led me to take a online psychopath test to make sure I wasn't one of them myself. Well, you never know, right?

It turns out I don't exhibit any psychopathic tendencies but I meet 100% of criteria for some sort of personality disorder, likely an antisocial one. Mwahahaha, there's a thousand people that could've told you that.

So fortunately for all my fellow workers, I'm not a likely candidate to undermine, intimidate or bully you or make you seek counselling. Well, I may make you seek counselling but for an entirely different reason.

But I have been on the other end of the old corporate psychopath, in fact, in my younger days I tended to be the magnet for the bastards. Probably due to my shyness and lack of standing-up-for-myself, I always managed to attract the attention of some psycho or another to practice their specialities on.

These snakes are tricky bastards, as their general MO is to lure you in with charm and friendship first and then increasingly seek to undermine and criticise you and generally make you feel like a worthless human being.

And I've fallen for it big time. More than once. Sometimes it can take years to even realise that you're in the equivalent of an abusive relationship, and even harder to extricate yourself. It's worse when the psycho is your boss.


The worst part is I've spent years wondering what it is that I've done wrong. It's dented my confidence and affected my behaviour and made my performance suffer. Which then makes the cycle worse and it all begins again.

Basically I fed the beast.


I've felt so helpless and powerless in my past but the great part is I've learned how to recognise them and hopefully next time I simply won't get sucked in.

Have you worked with an office psycho? Are you one yourself? Do you get a kick out of manipulating and controlling people, and don't really have an empathy for anyone else? Or that the end justifies the means?

I'm not perfect (and clearly my test results demonstrate this!) but at least my personality issues probably make me care too much, not the other way around. I can manipulate persuade with the best of them but am more likely to kill you with kindness and make you walk away from my desk feeling 10 foot tall.

I'm just giving like that.

I'd love to hear your stories.

(caveat: thankfully I am now in a job where I haven't yet identified the corporate psycho although I'm sure she/he exist. If you're reading this, please leave me alone).

xx

Vampires really do suck.

Ok so firstly with the apologies. It's been forever since I last updated my blog. I have been dealing with all sorts of personal crap in the past week and you know what it's like, it's like you have blinkers on and just need to deal with what's immediately in front of you and you just can't be doing with anything else.

I also hate being a Debbie Downer so when I'm in that sort of headspace it's my way to just retreat from the world at large until I'm fit for human company again.

The good news is, all issues turned out to be misunderstandings and are now done and dusted and life is now back to normal! Thank fark for that.

Also on the upside, my probation period for my new job finished on Sunday. My boss and I have been so busy and like ships in the night lately, prompting him to ask me if I wanted to put a photo of him on my desk to remind me what he looks like...anyhoo, we decided to go into the office on Saturday when it was quiet to get shit done as it just hasn't been lately...

So I reminded him my probation was up and it was his last chance to readily remove me from the premises, and did he want me in the building on Monday? He then told me I was a 'dream' (mind you, he had to think about it for a minute).

I knew we were getting along really well but after what can only be described as a shithouse week, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Time to ask for a raise? What's a dream worth anyways? Or is having me around permanently enough of a punishment for the poor sod?

So anyhoo, all boring personal shit aside, my own dreams have crumbled to dust with the news today that Serbia's first vampire, Sava Savanovic, is now on the loose due to the fact that the old watermill he's been living in has collapsed (on further investigation, this is because the owners of the property were too scared to go in and do repairs in case they made him mad) and now the villagers think he's gonna seek revenge.

True story. The council themselves have issued a formal warning and don't give a crap that the rest of the world thinks they're a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Cue mass sales of garlic and crosses as the locals quickly barricade themselves after dark...and some enterprising young soul will become the new garlic baron of Serbia.

Truly.

So why am I so upset?

Well they published a photo of Sava and contrary to the romantic notions of vampires a la Ian Somerhalder, poor Sava really came from an unfortunate gene pool, one that managed to hit every branch of the ugly tree. I mean...right?

I am not sure if he has fangs or is just dealing with several truly unfortunate dental and hygiene issues.

I'm shattered.

As a vampire romantic, I am addicted to The Vampire Diaries, Twilight (despite crap, crap and crappier movies), True Blood and all things fang. The notion that my beloved Eric (aka Alexander Skarsgard) would more likely resemble some ugly old withered dude in serious need of some dentures rather than the god that he is...well it's just...there are no words.

I mean, if someone is gonna suck your blood, you want them to be hot. Right? Or at least come with some awesomely creepy castle and bags of money instead of some ramshackle shack he can't even be arsed renovating. Not like he hasn't had several centuries to do it in, or anything. Lazy bastard. Clearly spending too much time on Facebook.

If a pervy looking dude looking like this came near me, bloodsucking creature of the night or no, I'd be getting out the holy water too. Cripes.

You've got a lot to answer for, Sava Savanovic.

Don't even get me started on the poor baby that was just named Hashtag. #itsagirl! The world has gone to hell. Thank god I've got my handbasket all picked out.

Yours in disappointment,

Bec xx

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday. And feeding cockroaches to The Enigma.

Hooray it's 50's Housewife Friday!!

Had a crazy week of clean up after the battering we got in last weeks crazy Brisbane storms, one after the next. 

We had the whole sha-bang here in lovely downtown Paddo;  hail, winds and hammering rain. The whole bottom half of our yard was under about 35cm of water which in turn flooded our street causing all kinds of hilarity with traffic and people still insisting on driving through even though it was a lagoon. still the grass could certainly use the rain and our yard now looks lush and green for the first time in quite a while.

Hopefully, this weekend is gonna be high and dry as i have one of my favorite long time BFF's and her family coming to visit and I can't wait to sit on the deck in the sun, sink a few frosty cocktails and watch our kids play together on Fort Skull and bounce on the trampoline. 

She and I were crazy little goth kids together and used to hit the dance floor like possessed banshees and cause a hell of a lot of trouble, so in her honor:

First track of the day:

The Sisters of Mercy - This Corrosion

Followed closely by:

Skinny Puppy - Dig it

One of my favorite moments of the 2 of us together as hell raisers was on my 25th birthday, a gang of around 20 of us went to see the Jim Rose Circus. It was such a great night ;

I was wearing a silver strapless mini dress with a short black furry jacket, fishnets and boots and was sitting in the front row. Jim Rose came down and dangled a live scorpion down my cleavage then later grabbed me and brought me on stage to feed handfuls of cockroaches to The Enigma, while I screamed the house down, as cockroaches and I have a long history of hating each other. For those of you that aren't familiar with Freaks, The Enigma is the guy that is all blue, covered literally head to toe in tattooed jigsaw puzzle pieces. He also has two little horns protruding from his blue forehead, like Satan. Another of my friends was pulled up, had an apple placed in his mouth, which Jim then carved his initials into, with a chainsaw.

Anyway, as we were leaving the theatre, we noticed all the Freaks hanging on the corner. In my usual manner, I stride over, start up a friendship and invite them to join us at The Wonderbar in the Valley for birthday drinks. They happily excepted the invite and we all hit the Valley and tore it up. 

So the next night, like true partiers, my pal and I were back on the long line at the Wonderbar waiting to get in when a bunch of guys turned and looked at us and said

"Hey didn't we see you girls here last night dirty dancing with The Enigma?!"

Yes, yes you did. The very next minute, the Circus Freaks arrive at the club in a taxi, spot us, pull me and my gal out of the line and whisk us through to the VIP section.......

We still talk about it ALL the time.

I don't know about y'all but these days I just don't get to spend time with my gals like I used to. Everyone has serious jobs and kids and responsibilities and the hours spent lying around with my dudes, applying make up, gossiping, ripping our stockings and laughing and dancing for hours seem like a brief gift from God himself. The energy that I was given by my girlfriends always made me feel invincible, thriving like a watered plant. So I'm looking forward to feeling that again by the end of the weekend after much catching up and friendship affirming time spent.

I got to catch up with my Grammar Girls last weekend too so I really have been spoilt for company lately.

So, am organizing a couple of lovely plates of food and today am baking some choc fudge cupcakes with vanilla cream cheese frosting. Keeping it simple for once, very unlike me. 

Although I do have some extreme baking to do on Sunday with a couple of dozen cake pops being donated to my sons school for the  community concert. I really am a pillar of the community!!  (insert sarcastic laughter here)

So I hope everyone has an absolutely awesome weekend, and I'll talk to youse next week!!

I'll leave you today with

Ministry- Jesus Built My Hot Rod

"so there was only one thing that I could do

And that was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"

Have a great week kids xox 

Cathy xx

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.

666 is not the magic number...

So I'm completely gutted (GUTTED!) at the news that 666 Park Avenue has been cancelled after only 7 episodes.

I've recently gotten completely obsessed with this Shining-meets-Lost-meets-Poltergeist series set right in the heart of Manhattan. It's concept of a horror-movie-in-every-ep has had me riveted and glued to my laptop desperate to find out wtf is going on.

Starring Aussie actress Rachael Taylor and Locke from Lost, it's just been one of those TV series that has had me instantly hooked from the '666'.

So sad :(

xx

The perfect storm and Like A Prayer.

So what an action-packed weekend full of crazy laughter and crazier weather!

Yesterday we had a lovely lazy lie-in until about 8:30am and then Toowoomba got pelted with sheets of rain so deafening I was seriously fearing for the little tin roof over my outdoor area. It just bucketed down for about half an hour, drenching my every desire to start out for Brisbane...

Fortunately it cleared and we were off on our trek to the fair Bris-Vegas. Totally uneventful trip, with Elijah playing music man on the ipod, calling out each random play song and asking me if I wanted to play or skip (note to self: review future playlists. As funny as it was to have my son say the next song was 'Hey Asshole' it was likely rather inappropriate).

Reasonably sunny and just a little bit overcast the whole way, we then pulled up at Cathy's house in Paddington to see water halfway across the road. Obviously we'd missed a bit of rain, we assumed, until we saw the video that Cathy had made of the heart of one of the freakiest storms Bris-Vegas has copped in a while. Basically their lower yard was completely flooded and at the height of the shenanigans, water completely covered the entire road, prompting some caught-on-video road rage, much to our amusement.

So last time was bushfires, and now wild and woolly storms...

We couldn't believe we'd basically driven straight down only to avoid even so much as having to turn on the windscreen wipers...

Anyhoo, we then copped a further lashing later in the afternoon, prompting us to question our evening plans but deciding to forge ahead anyway.

So late as always, with NFI where we were going, we set off to Julie's house. Any Brisbanite would know you're either a northsider or southsider, and never the twain shall meet. Going over the river is like entering a different universe for us committed northsiders.

It was the highlight of my night to stop at the bottle shop at Bulimba to be chatted up by a rather cute (and age appropriate!) attendant who even gave me a discount on my de rigeur pink champagne. Come again...

Indeed.

Several wrong turns getting totally lost on the wrong side of the river later...these two losers finally made it to Julie's pad to see some of the most wonderful people in the world.

What followed was a gourmet spread courtesy of Jules and some wonderful conversation with some amazing people...

And then came a crash of thunder that had us pretty much falling out of our chairs. Oh yeah, another freak storm hits...fark.

So radio set on 80s flashbacks at top volume (to cover sound of thunder) and Cathy and I singing at the top of our lungs (OK I let her sing louder), we made it home.

Several hours of chat sitting on top of her outdoor table (the only dry spot outside the house) and stalking people via Facebook on her ipad, we finally flagged sometime after 2am...

Woke up this morning to...you guessed it...another fricken storm.

After waiting it out we hit the road and made our way back up the mountain, stopping to collect some fresh coral trout (baked for dinner and DELICIOUS).

Lady luck was again with us with not a speck of rain the whole way home..we copped a few showers once we were home and safe but how lucky is that?

And I just log onto the weather website again and poor Brisbane is just about to cop another soaking, likely to be worse than any of the previous...

I lived in Brisbane during the floods last year and it was so devastating, but this is so much worse as there is no warning. I hope everyone I love is staying safe and dry.

So road-trip song of the day...Madonna, Like a Prayer. I think this is the last song she did that I ever liked which makes it all the more special. Sing along with it on your next road trip, you won't regret it!

Oh I was also lucky enough to read what Cathy has started to write of her memoirs regarding her father. It was one of the most amazing stories I've ever read and both of us were crying at the end of it (to date...she's not done yet). I feel so privileged to have been allowed this glimpse into an incredible man, the life he led was nothing short of gobsmacking.

Thank you honey for allowing me to be a part of it.

So I'm thoroughly shattered and happy and exhausted and thankful all at the same time...So lucky to have such wonderful people to share my time with but also so happy to be home in my own bed (no offence Cathy, but you're lucky I didn't scream the house down when your cat jumped on me while I was asleep).

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend too! Stay safe Brisbanites!

xx

My second favourite F word. And the kindness of strangers.

Hooray! It's my second favourite F word again and I'm so happy to be looking at the onset of the weekend.

It's been an insane week, just so much going on, I feel I've barely had a chance to breathe. There's been some awesome highlights (beautiful salmon lunch at Christmas party venue) and some lowlights which I won't bore you with.

So something happened yesterday. Anyone who has ever lived in a small town with...well...considerate human beings has probably had something similar happen to them. Coming from a city however, this just blew me away.

So we were looking for a hot water urn for work. I had visions of these pretty stainless steel and black contraptions we had at my last workplace so off we went to look.

So total aside here...urns are effing UGLY! I mean seriously!

So when we see enormous urns for the princely sum of between $250 and $350 I nearly choked. Look, I don't have a problem spending that sort of money, but I have an aesthetic issue and simply refuse to spend it on something so fricken HIDEOUS. And we weren't looking for hot water to service the Taj Majal, so they were way too big anyway.

Anyhoo, so we traversed from store to store (culminating in me taking I think about 6 wrong turns and riding the company car up the gutter...ooops!) to find Betta Electrical in Toowoomba.

Once again their display urns were far too big but when asked for other options, they produced a pretty-as-you-can-get-for-an-ugly-urn smaller Russell Hobbs version. Issue was there was a tiny dent in one side so they had put in an insurance claim for it. We asked how much they'd charge for it and they said $50.

So we were pretty happy with that right? Considering the RRP was about $150 it was a total bargain.

But then the dude looked at the shirt my colleague was wearing and realised which company we worked for. Of course our immediate response was 'oh crap, has the price just gone up to $100?' but he simply pushed the box into our hands and told us that our money was no good here and just to mention them to our purchasing guys.

Uh what?

Walking out of the store we were alternately joking that we felt like we were stealing and then commenting that we should have found a dented laptop as well...

So I'm pretty blown away by this. Seriously has never happened before! Oh I've scored discounts and great deals and something thrown in for free with another purchase, but a gesture of goodwill to simply give us something was pretty bloody amazing.

Look I know they were getting their money back for it on insurance but as we would have been happy to pay for it that's not really the point.

I think I like the small-town life. Or small-city, or whatever the hell this is!

So another reason to be happy for my second favourite F word...

This weekend I get to visit my Brisbane gals and best of all, spend some quality time sinking icy cold Diet Coke on the Housewife's balcony. Hoping some red velvet cake pops are on the baking agenda today....hint hint.

Have a lovely F day all!!!

xx

Wankerism at it's finest.

So I've been entertained the last couple of days watching Melissa George stumble from one faux pas to another.

Now for those that don't know (and most probably are going, who the bloody hell is she and why would I care), Melissa George has made a small name for herself as a working actress in the US, however most Australian's know her best from her long stint as the much beloved Angel from Home and Away.

It's pretty customary in this country for hosts of TV shows that these starlets populate every time they have an envelope to open in a desperate attempt to stay relevant a new project to flog to summarily embarrass them by showing their showreel from yesteryear, preferably something dated circa 1988. The worse hair and costuming, so much the better.

Anyhoo, most of our homecoming artists do get this and cheerfully play along, despite the fact that they're probably ready to set fire to the studio archives.

Not our Melissa. On being shown some footage of Angel with the braids and the unfortunate dress sense, instead she threw her toys out of her cot and then proceeded to burn up Twitter along the lines of she's gonna bill the show because she's done so much free f*#king promotion for them.

My favourite Tweet?

'I'd rather be having a croissant and a little espresso in Paris, or walking my French bulldog in New York City'.

Precious.

Way to burn bridges, sweetie.

Look, I understand she was probably having a bad day but this tweet threw it over the edge into sheer wankerism.

I'll agree that I'd much rather be strolling through the Champs Elysses or perusing Fifth Avenue myself (who wouldn't?), but seriously, wtf?

Apparently she feels that the 'body of work' she has amassed since her H&A days should overshadow this moment in time. Granted, her stint on the soapie was a million years ago but who can remember the last film she's in?

I bet Chris Hemsworth, also an erstwhile H&A castmate who has since gone on to eclipse anything Ms George can lay claim to, has a much better sense of humour about his roots.

Get a sense of humour, darling. It may even add to your range. And next time you consider promoting something, why not do it in NY or Paris instead. My bet is you need us much more than we need you.

xx

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday...tea and Metallica. It's the natural choice.

Woohoo!!! Friday Friday Friday!!

Happy 50's Housewife Friday Kids!!

Hope today finds everyone happy, well rested and ready to get ur housewife on!!

First track of the day:

Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine: Sheriff Fatman

This song takes me back to the early 90's and hanging in London with some very cool Peeps!

Although when I think about London and me and my friends desire to be there, I wish I could go back and hit L.A. instead. A very Me town and the chances of me marrying one of Guns n Roses (not Steven, preferably Duff)  or Joe LeSte from Bangtango would have been much higher.

Anyway, no need to cry over spilt milk.

A busy day ahead y'all.

 Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning in preparation for a hang out on the deck with my delightful mama this afternoon after school,  then a ladies lunch with some of my Family daycare Mums at my fav Paddo hangout, Sassafras.

 Avocado with lemon on sourdough toast, here I come!! These guys do breakfast til 2pm folks! That's a thumbs up from me. A Thumbs down? They've stopped serving Diet Coke!!!!! A very sad decision......will speak to them about this today and see if we can work it out....

My Family Daycare Mums are the mums whose children I have looked after in my home since 2005. Their kids now are at school and I only see them on holidays but I love that my former mums and I are still so close. It means a lot to me to still be so important to them and their kids, who are still my sons favourite friends.

Awwww too nice?

Let's dirty this post up a bit with some...... Wait for it......

Motörhead!!!!!!!

Second track of the day:

Ace of Spades!!

Ahhhh Lemmy. The coolest, ugliest hot guy ever.

But , back to nice: For my beloved Mas visit this afternoon I am adjusting my baking menu slightly to suit her lovely old school, high brow tea drinking preferences.

I am not used to having access to my mother but since my adored Dad died last month, she is suddenly available to me. (There are silver linings to all awful things dudes) But, I don't drink tea or coffee and she is a big Tea drinker, so I am slowly learning the etiquette of all u tea drinking fanatics. I am learning to never serve water that's been off the boil and am beginning to distinguish the difference between an Earl Grey and an Irish Breakfast.

 I was incredibly embarrassed the first time my mother dropped in one morning after her tennis and all I had to offer her was Turkish rose tea which she politely forced down and when she asked if I had any biscuits  all I had to offer was a meal replacement bar, which she declined.

So today is homemade scones with cream and jam which I'll pop in the oven as soon as I get back from lunch. I will then serve the tea in one of the Royal Doulton tea cups with matching saucers and side plates that she's been giving me as gifts for years and throw her the tea party she deserves.

I will refrain from playing track 3:

Metallica - The Four Horsemen

while she is here.

On that note, I shall leave u and get on with my busy Friday.

Track 4:

The Donnas - Take it Off

' cause I get what I want and I like what I see'

Ciao Bellas x

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.

Things that annoy me. Friday edition.

It's that time again, when I've worked up a lovely head of steam that is gonna blow...real soon. Well no, not really, it is Friday after all (my second favourite F word!) so how bad it can it be, right?

But I do have my roundup of this week's pet peeves and grievances that need a forum to air. Because this is really gonna fix it...

Oh well, Things That Annoy Me*

• Hairdressers who don't style your hair the way you like. Or at all. Last night I got a haircut and was asked if I wanted to pay $10 for a blow-dry. Thinking that I wasn't going to wander around with wet hair, and wanting to see the outcome of this long (I mean LONG) overdue haircut, I agreed. Sorry Miss Please Wash Your Hair Sometime This Year, clearly you meant to say 'go directly to dry-ish fluffy hell, do not pass Go' instead of 'blow dry'. End result being a head full of fluff, still partially damp, with a limp fringe. Huh??? It took me 1/2 hour with the straightener this morning just to stop it looking like a bad rug. And just a little note. People with fringes usually dry them forward, not upward and backward, with a slant to the left. The urge to grab the hairdryer out of your grubby mitts and finish the job myself was so overwhelming, I think I gave myself an ulcer. Thanks for nothing. It's a bad day when you look worse than the Trump.

• Sons who get a haircut in the chair next to you by one of Hairdresser from Hell's (heretofore known as HFH) colleagues and gets a) the best cut of his life and b) a complimentary blowdry. FML.

• So I read that there was a $26 million Queensland lottery winner from Tuesday's jackpot that hadn't been claimed. Then apparently some Townsville bloke rang his wife to check the numbers and they were the winners. Bastards. Although you do live in Townsville, so commiserations for that. Maybe you can spend some of your winnings on a removal truck. Or you know, a private jet. Meanwhile I scored $13.70. I won't spend it all at once.

* this is not a complete list

So that's pretty much all I got, which on reflection is a pretty piss-poor effort really. But it has made me remember a point that if my SON was writing this, he'd have as # 1 but I file under 'Taking Advantage of Every Opportunity to Embarrass Your Children' (patent pending).

So last night after our haircuts we wandered through the shopping centre and I bought two Monster High dolls.

I would pretend that they're presents for my nieces or something but they're not.

THEY'RE MINE.

Although last night I made my son carry them and took enormous delight in saying really loudly things to the tune of:

'Don't drop your dollies'

'Hey you've left your dolls on the table!'

and

'You shouldn't be embarrassed about wanting to play with dollies'

So when you see papers filed for minor emancipation, this could well be brought into evidence of the pain and suffering my poor kid endures.

It's my job.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! I was looking forward to cocktails and sunshine but after a beautiful warm sunny week, a huge thunderstorm is coming over and hanging about for a weekend visit. Bastard.

xx