I read recently that there was a trending topic, whatever that is, on Twitter, something along the lines of people writing letters to their 16 year old selves.
As a before-mentioned Twitter noob, I will take the article's word for it but it got me intrigued. If I could communicate with my teenage self, what would I say?
It seemed timely to take a nostalgic walk down memory lane on Cathy’s birthday and take the opportunity to slap our young selves silly and tell us to wake up to ourselves issue some much needed advice.
So here goes!
Cathy's letter to herself:
Hey, 16 yr old me,
Today is our birthday! It has been 23 yrs since i was where you are right now.
If i remember correctly you will have put your GnR Lies tape on first thing this morning as you will have wanted to hear Patience as soon as you woke up.
So, let me begin by saying "you're awesome!" My face breaks into a smile when I think of your ballsyness! You say what you want ( generally to your detriment) wear what you want, be friends with whoever you want and you keep refusing to conform even though your conservative private school is riding you like Seabiscuit to do so.
By the way, you think right now that you hate that school, but you don't. You love it. It provides you with life long gifts. That terror-fying, intimidating old woman who runs the place, isn't that old or terror-fying, and actually thinks you rock and will tell you so before you leave.
And those teachers that you think hate you? Well, some actually do hate you, but the others are simply trying to motivate your lazy arse and get you to take advantage of all that is being offered to you. I urge you to do so....but you won't. Don't sweat it....
While ur there, look around at the crazy gals ur surrounded by, most will be friends for life and over time will prove to be some of the greatest friends you'll ever make.
So, its 1989 and ur frustrated with ur look. You've sprayed Sun In in your hair and ur bright yellow curls are out of control. Relax, by the end of the yr you'll have gone black and in a couple more years you'll learn how to straighten it. Black will save you, it is the colour that will be synonymous with you for the next 20yrs. The dark hair brings a new paleness to your skin and you will begin to see yourself more clearly.
Yeehar, you're about to start running with a bad crowd! Those nice boys you've been hanging with at the Paddo and at partys are about to be traded in for black jeans and goth clubs. Yep, those stove pipe, chuck taylor wearing, long haired, car jed, total babes that you've eyeing off for months are somehow gonna let you infiltrate their tight knit, northside rockstar gang. To this day those guys and gals are the coolest bunch of people you have ever met. If you can bottle the charisma that swirls around the rumpus room of a certain house on Albany Ck Rd and sell it, you will be a rich woman.
Enjoy your family! Even though you're not really sure where you fit in, and the fact that you've got 3 over achieving, sporty, scholarship winning older siblings isn't helping....but they all have extrememly varied and excellent music collections and your brother, John has just started playing guitar and wearing flannos. All these things will benefit you in the future. You and he will start a band in about 9 yrs and you will kick ass!
Your parents are two of the greatest role models you will ever have. They are in the middle of the Pilots dispute which is about to play its part in the Australian recession thats about to hit. They are passionate to their cause and loyal to their mates. This is currently baffling to you at the moment but passion and loyalty will be something you take from this for the rest of your life. Your conservative parents are actually quite Punk Rock. Embrace them, especially ur precious,outgoing, problem solving, rock star Dad. He is gonna suffer a severe stroke in about 7 yrs and you will never hear his voice again.
Enjoy this time of innocence. Nothing bad has ever happened to you....yet.
I wish i could prepare you for some of the sadness that lies ahead.
You will lose some of your cool new crowd to heroin. Hard for you to believe considering "Go Ask Alice" is a book you've read 10 times and has aptly scared the shit out of you re: drugs.
You will lose a best friend to cancer when your 23.
You're first true love will break your heart and you will worry that it will never mend ( it will!)
Some of your best friends will betray you.
You will become a young single mother and be afraid you can't do it. You can, in fact you kick ass at it!
You will marry a gorgeous man and be the mother of 2 of the greatest children ever born.
You, my friend, have a such a full on future ahead that I should finally stop here and let you be surprised by the rest...
Love life like you do, but most importantly, love yourself!
Whats that?? Yeah, yeah...GnR Forever!!
Enjoy the ride, Blondie!
love,
you.
Ps Oh, and that guy you idolise and tell everyone you meet that you're in love with? This will come as very exciting news to you right now and is probably the only thing you want to know about right now...yes, you will spend alot of time with him in your future and yes, you will sleep with him. I don't want to ruin it for you but, just don't get your hopes up in that department if you catch my drift. Sometimes fantasies are much better than realities...I'm just saying......
Bec's letter to herself:
Dear Angsty One,
Firstly Miss Drama Queen, I want to give you a big hug and tell you it's going to be OK. And for God’s sake, RELAX. Breathe. You know that stupid transcendental meditation course you took? That you couldn't stop giggling through because it was just the most ridiculous experience and let's face it, that guy was just plain weird? Well, USE IT. I beg of you. I promise you it won't come close to being the stupidest thing you do in your life.
What I really want to tell you is to stop being afraid of just being you. Your fear of saying what you're really thinking in case people laugh at you or think you're really uncool stops you from being yourself and saying what you want to say. You're so afraid your friends won't like you if they find out what you're really like that you've let shyness rule your life because of it. And that's the opposite of cool. Plus it's really, really boring.
Here's the funny thing: when you're older you're only going to regret the things you didn't say or do, not the things you did. And something else to consider - in 20 years you'll still be gossiping with those exact same awesome rockstar girls you're having lunch with under the stairs. And this time they know the best of you and the worst of you (ugh flashback to the awful song you're going to be forced to sing at graduation). And guess what? They like you, OK?
Stand up for yourself. Someone recently said it's hard to respect someone when you see someone else disrepecting them and they put up with it. No-one is going to fight your battles for you and those that can't see your awesomeness really aren't worth it anyway. So there's a few girls who don't like you...and instead of letting them make your life hell why not step back and ask yourself - do you like them? Because if the answer is no, then who cares what they think? And once again, in 20 years they have absolutely NO impact on your life, so care factor = zero. The ones that do matter will still be around, take a good look at your gang and see if you can work out who. This same advice applies to the woman from Mask who bullies you into wearing the singularly most ugly strapless taffeta dress in front of your WHOLE SCHOOL in the fashion parade next year.
Stop trying to be so cool. Funnily enough, the more comfortable you get in your own skin and the less you care, the cooler other people think you are. Funny that. Just do your thing and get on with it.
Once in a while, crack a text book. Laugh if you must but one day you'll be surrounded by and even working for ex-geeks who spent their formative years stuck in their studies and now they're having the last laugh…at your expense.
Stop being a selfish arse. The world doesn’t revolve around you, although you’ll try spend many a year trying to prove that it does. Be nicer to your family. They might not always be around. Value the time with your mother, you don't have as much time as you think and you're gonna miss her like hell when she's gone. Remember how lucky you are to have such an amazing supportive family who won't even blink an eye when you announce you're pregnant and going to raise a baby on your own. In fact, they make up the spare room. You may not have the most conventional family tree and you may sometimes think they're out to get you but ultimately they're just trying to protect and teach you. You'll get yours when you have your own child.
Say no to perms.
And although your experience in subterfuge and contrary nature does actually help you be a great troubleshooter in your career, it is also going to get you into trouble. With a capital T. Most of it will be with Cathy and will be awesome, but trouble nonetheless.
And for God’s sake, anyone who wears size 7 jeans IS NOT FAT. The years spent walking around with your hands in your pockets to cover your ‘enormous’ thighs? Total waste. One day your thighs will be enormous so enjoy them now. Just follow your mum’s advice of always letting your boobs be bigger than your stomach and it will all be fine.
Lastly, stop letting the angst and drama consume what will be the best years of your life. Put on your eyeliner and your crazy clothes and own them. Enjoy the ride, grab hold of Cathy’s hand, close your eyes and jump off that cliff…it’s worth it I promise.
Love, Me xx
P.P.S. Talk to the cute guy from the train. He actually did like you, it wasn't a bet but he thinks you're not interested cause you won't speak to him
P.P.S. in 20 years you'll be watching your school video with your friends and yelling at the screen at the brief glimpses of you with your hand over your face. Suck it up princess and own the camera - the future you wants a better look at how awesome you look
P.P.S. seriously, reconsider the taffeta fashion parade dress. And perhaps crack a smile on the catwalk, you don't look cool, you just look really bored
Willow's letter to herself:
Hey there weirdo,
Let me just give you a hug firstly, I know this will make you mildly uncomfortable as you are so intent on showing everyone how tough you are but me being you and you being me knows now that all that toughness was a front. Its okay to let people see you are not made of stronger stuff than you are, its okay to be a little bit marshmallow occasionally.
Right now you are going through the hardest time and as you sitting here at 36 knows, that in the last 20 years since you turned 16 you have still not endured anything as scary or tough as what you are going through now.
As we know 2 months before your 16th birthday you went to a park and took some drugs that caused you intense hallucinations such as that you were dying, the thing that we also know is that 2 months later you are still experiencing those same hallucinations. In about one month you will finally tell a local doctor who will refer you to a psychiatrist and you will be started on some anti psychotic medicine. What I wish I could tell you as you are sititng in your room right now is that you will be okay, I know it doesn't feel like this now but you will, in about 8 months from now you will be able to stop the medication and will be able to stop sleeping in the bathtub.
As a girl attempting to go to high school, attempting to live your life and fighting the urge every second of every day not to jump off a bridge let me tell you that I admire you. You have shown amazing courage and determination to live by not ending your life, by taking yourself to the library and reading about evolution to try and get through the psychosis of feeling like a puppet.
You will meet someone very special during this year, a school nurse who the school has brought in to meet you every day to see how you are. She will bring you yoghurt, fruit and sit and listen to you tell her that you are losing your mind and respect you enough not to reply back that you were not as she knew in a that you already had. You will love this person for the rest of your life and have contact with her now and again for always.
I know this whole year is really about fighting the psychosis and doesn't seem like there is much more than this but looking back I can tell you the following things:
Treasure every part of your parents. I know it was immensely embarassing when your friends were over and found your Dad out on the balcony in a towel singing Right said Fred ' Im too sexy ' but thats who he is. He is the man who installed in you a love of all things old Hollywood and this love affair will continue through your life. He is a man who cries every year on the anniversary of John Lennons death. He is a man who will become a single father at the age of 54 when he accidently gets a 21 year old pregnant who does not want a baby. As for your Mum, I know you don't think so now but there will come a time when you will count her as your very best friend in the world and you will have the urge to ring her several times a day just to talk about bleach, or mince or your family. She is the most amazing woman you will every know and you will be so proud of her in every way. You will however still be mildly pissed at her that she gave you big boobs, bunions and an insane urge to cry at every sad ad that comes on tv.
You will always hate men with muscles.
You will meet an amazing man who will ask you to marry him 6 hours after you meet, everyone will think you are crazy but you know it is the best and easiest decision you have ever or will ever make. He and you will bring 3 beautiful babies into the world so treasure your sleep now because in a few years you will just not get any. By the way this man is not a rock star and as sad as this thought may make you at 16 be assured that at 36 he will be every bit as wonderful as any rock star you have been dreaming of (well let's be honest there is only one rock star for you at the moment and never let anyone question your loyalty because 20 years later he is still the only rock star that would of ever stood a chance).
Make some more girl friends . I know you have always preferred hanging out with the boys and you have made some amazing boy friends who you treasure but there will come a time when those boys will grow up and get girlfriends who will attempt a smile at you that doesn't quite meet the eyes and you will need some girl friends. Lucky for you though you will sit here at 36 with a few amazing women who will love you and encourage you, some will be family, some will be work colleagues, one will be someone you had a punch up on the very first day you met, one will be a long lost friend from when you were 16, some will be in their 50's, 80's and one will even be someone you have never met. The world is much more richer with valuable girlfriends by your side.
Stop reading suicide poetry. It does no-one any good.
Start eating meat again. You will get sick soon and will be told to start eating meat again so if we could start this now that would be great.
Stop trying so very hard to be different. Every person is already unique and has their own story to tell. What you will learn is you are no better than anyone else and you are certainly no worse than everyone else, we are all just trying to live our lives the best way we can. Scratch this for rapists, murderers and child molestors.
On a lighter note, later on in the year 2 embarassing things will happen to you. First one being that you will be drinking one night at a bar in the city and will miss your last bus home. Lucky for you as you are walking down the mall you come across an old school friend who you havent seen in about 4 years and he will offer you a lift home with his mother as long as you promise not to vomit in his mothers car. You say 'sure I'm good, I don't need to vomit ' . You will however step into that car and immediately start hurling every way you can including most unfortunately all over the mothers head. You will then proceed to fall out of the car at your home and land face first into more vomit. This is not your finest moment so please don't miss that last bus home and stop drinking cheap alcohol hidden in big McDonalds cups.
Secondly you will develop an eye for attempting to wear as little as possible, most nights being a petticoat and ripped stockings. Please, please make sure that seeing as you are already half naked ensure that the straps of your petticoats are secure because unfortunately there will be a public nudity incident when you are running down the mall in your petticoat, stockings and doc marten boots when you realise mid run that your petticoat is no longer on you but down on you and you are starkers in the Brisbane city mall.
I will now leave you my love and tell you to enjoy every moment you have between now and then as life is a beautiful thing and should be enjoyed.
For my last advice to you I will tell you one thing. Please for the love of all do not tell anyone that you hallucinated that you were a chicken leg, this does not go down well with anyone you share this with, even the psychiatrist is a little shocked and think of all that this person has heard in her career.
Thats it weirdo . xo
