Going up in flames.

So # 1 (and only) son comes home from school the other day bubbling over with excitement. Now as generally he puts on this long-suffering aura of 'thank god that's over' the moment he sees me, this is atypical.

The obligatory question: 'how was school?' was met with the totally UN-typical 'EXCELLENT!'

Uh, what?

Swallowing my instantaneous reaction of 'who are you and what have you done with my son?' I had to query on this most excellent mood...

I wish I hadn't.

Turns out my kid has enrolled himself in the elective class of  'Extreme Science' and had spent the afternoon creating grenades, launchers and above all, setting themselves on fire. All teacher-mandated, of course.

What's more, my kid was apparently 'best-in-class' at not flinching when set aflame so was chosen to be the crash-test-dummy to re-enact the Statue of Liberty, complete with flaming arm.

I'm so proud.

This was going to be the year I was going to teach E how to build a fire so that he could have our wood-fired heater warming the house for my triumphant return from work each evening.

Now however, I'm thinking perhaps locking up all matches, lighters and basically anything flammable from my budding little pyro might be the best course of action.

Crap.

Bec xx

Best. Photo. Ever.

I love you Jennifer Lawrence. Even if you look like a toilet dolly.

Disappointed.

It's Oscars night. The 'biggest night of the year' with wall-to-wall stars rocking it down the red carpet.

Most people look forward to checking out the fashion and who's wearing what (or more importantly, almost wearing - Brandi whatsherface anyone??? Not that anyone was looking at her face. A fashion correspondent??? Irony, anyone?). It could be disputed the red carpet is far more of interest, and way more entertaining than the actual boring interminable trying-too-hard-to-be-funny ceremony. Who watches it anyway?

Come on, you know it's true.

Personally I am way more entertained by the spectacular fashion fails (Bjork, anyone?) than the so-called 'good' stuff. I mean, these gals have a year and a bazillion stylists and designers clamouring to dress them and they turn up wearing THAT?

There is one particular person that I look forward to seeing all year and who time after time never disappoints.

She lives up to (and beyond) the reputation for British eccentricity and despite a pretty face and a lovely body, year after year she persists in looking like some sort of bag lady who accidentally stumbled onto the red carpet (usually with hair looking like she's had a close call with a few security guards).

The best part of her is that she clearly just doesn't give a f*!k. She's totally taking the piss out of every starlet, C grade mattress wannabe and fashion correspondent, who generally completely fail to see the irony in her statement.

Which makes it even funnier.

Of course I could only be talking about the inimitable Helena Bonham-Carter.

So it was with enormous disappointed that she regaled us with this year's dress (see right) which, truly, really, I actually kinda like. It's flattering and I'm a huge fan of sheer black and white combos.

And it's like she's just phoning it in with only a few token straggly pieces of hair but otherwise looking quite respectable.

I'm devastated.

I feel like she's given up. Will next year see her polished and wearing (gasp!) matching shoes????

Don't do it, Helena. I can't take another year of this disappointment.

Bec xx

I have a problem. The first step is admitting it.

Staggering through pelting rain and howling wind wearing my  high vis orange vest(!) and my meagre (but extremely pretty) pink-with-black-lace parasol threatening to turn inside out, I realised I had a problem.

(I can hear your audible 'duh')...

OK so rewind a bit...I should welcome myself back first. I've been AWOL for the past few weeks and I really have no excuse except I'm coming off the back of a few extremely crazy-busy weeks at work, I haven't been feeling too well, my beloved home has been put up for sale, I've been stressed, the War of the (now elephantine giant) Mouse continues and I'm all-around unmotivated, uninspired and just damned tired...

Whew. Too much information, yeah?

So if you're still reading and remotely concerned about which of the so-many-I've lost count myriadproblem I've been rudely alerted to this morning...

Have I built the drama successfully? Hey, I'm a bit rusty here, I haven't written for a while...

So as I mentioned, there I was, staggering through the pelting rain holding my umbrella with one hand and my dress in place with the other, lest I provide others with an even worse morning than even I was experiencing...

all part of my quest towards the coffee van.

Yes, the coffee van.

I know, you're feeling let down now aren't you?

So it was a comedy of errors really. Our main carpark is closed today as we've got cranes everywhere and work going on (in the pouring rain, the morons, think of the bad hair day they're having), so our coffee van had to park around the other side and of course the furtherest away from me as possible. So instead of sauntering down the dry, inside stairs to where the coffee van backs up practically inside so that my precious hair remains protected by rain, wind and snow, when the much-awaited 'coffee alert' went out, I had to trek through our big shed and warehouse, OUTSIDE through the first batch of rain and wind, to see no sign of the van that delivers my precious elixir.

So I retraced by steps, went through another building and finally caught sight of my nirvana...across a totally exposed and large expanse that (oh the horror) required high visibility (aka fluoro orange) vests to be worn.

So here was my dilemma: take the trek and

a) destroy my carefully straightened hair
b) get drenched
c) run the threat of getting my precious parasol broken
d) ruin my new shoes
e) wear fluoro orange(!)

in search of my coffee fix.

Or I could just, you know, not. Forego the bad hair day, the clothing that to this minute still feels damp and really quite unpleasant (what a day to pull out the tights for the first time this year), not run the risk of flashing my work colleagues (although I've already done that but that is an entirely different story, and hopefully one that will be expunged from mine and everyone else's memory, like, forever) and worse, being seen in public in fluoro orange.

Well you know which option I took.

I really have a problem.

You see, when my friends got a new coffee machine and I wrote on Facebook to 'fill up the sink and I'll be over to stick my head in it' everyone thought I was kidding. Even I thought I was kidding.

Sort of.

But I can no longer live in denial. I must admit the truth.

So I'm Bec, and I'm a coffee addict. Like the worst kind.

I can't me live without my caffeine fix, that's the honest truth.

But what to do?

I thought of days, months, years and decades stretched ahead of me when I could laugh at the coffee alert and all the zombies who immediately jump up to line up for their cup. I thought of not being woken up in the morning by #1 son with my travel mug filled to the brim with freshly brewed cofee. Of not being enslaved to this substance that let's face it, rules my life.

And then I thought...screw it.

Would life be worth living without enjoying a lovely latte? Priorities.

Hope you're having a lovely Monday with much better hair than me.

Bec xx

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday...Chocolate Marshmallow Cake...the recipe.

Ok, came out beautifully, boys said it was the best cake they've ever had so here's the recipe :

CHOCOLATE MARSHMALLOW CAKE

I cup boiling water
2 cups sugar
1 3/4 cups flour
3/4 cup cocoa powder

2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk (or use 1 cup milk mixed with 1 Tbl vinegar)
1/2 cup oil
1 tsp vanilla
Chocolate Satin Frosting (see recipe below)

1. Heat the oven to 175 degrees and grease a 13x9 pan.
2. Bring some water to boil and keep it simmering while you make the batter.
3. In a large mixing bowl, combine the sugar, flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Add the eggs, buttermilk, oil and vanilla and beat with an electric mixer for 30 seconds.
4. Add the 1 cup boiling water and carefully stir until the water is mixed in; beat for 1 1/2 minutes.
5. Pour the batter into the 13x9 pan (batter will be thin).
6. Bake at 350 for 35-38 minutes or just until the top springs back when lightly touched.
7. Make the frosting while the cake is baking. When the cake is done, pour the warm frosting over the hot cake.

CHOCOLATE SATIN FROSTING
1/2 cup butter
6 Tbl buttermilk (or use 6 Tbl milk mixed with 1 tsp vinegar)
4 Tbl cocoa powder
4 cups of icing sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups marshmallows

1. In a medium saucepan, combine the butter, buttermilk and cocoa. Cook, stirring constantly, just until it comes to a boil; remove the pan from the heat.
2. Add the powdered sugar and vanilla, and beat with a wooden spoon or electric mixer until the frosting is nearly smooth (stir every few minutes while the cake finished baking).
3. Add the marshmallows, then pour the warm frosting over the hot cake, gently spreading until it covers the cake evenly. Cool to room temperature before serving.

Try it! Let me see the pics! Here's mine!

Cath xx

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday...back in the game.

Hello my 50's Housewife Friday Friends! Long time no see!

Yes, the Housewife has returned from hiatus! Miss me?

Why have I been too lazy to write you ask? What have I been doing that was so damned important?

Well, I've been slightly occupied lately with of a house full of holidaying children and their friends, our first ever family beach camping trip during the QLD record breaking heat wave and unprecedented deadly stingers attack, whilst fires were burning down the place threatening the doorsteps of houses only kilometers away, and THEN coming home to prepare for my sons 9th Annual Australia Day Birthday Party during tornados, cyclones and a city under water for the 2nd time in two years.

Aaaaah Queensland! Perfect one day, a frightening Shitstorm the next :)

Well, we survived, barely......the smell of mud is once again in the air.....

Would you like some advice on how to throw a successful children's outdoor BBQ for 50 while BrisVegas becomes BrisVenice, whilst making 7,000 lamington cake pops, without having a nervous breakdown?

I start with a large glass of ice and a bottle of Frangelico........

can't really recall the rest but do have hazy memories of running around in the rain with an Australia Day Umbrella Hat on my head..........hmmmmmm. Forget that last part.

Xavier had his "best birthday ever" though so it seems it all went well.

Seriously though, my heart goes out to everyone affected, or re-affected by the floods this week, especially the people and animals of Bundy. Hope the recovery is a swift one!!

First track of the day for all of you Brisbanites that were without power this week:

Start Me Up - Rolling Stones

This weeks plea to Energex....Hehehehehe

But, we had a seriously great time camping with some of our oldest and bestest buds. I was a little hesitant about how it would be as its been a while, and the bunch of friends that we went with even admitted that they were secretly expecting a last minute cancellation on my behalf, that I would just send the boys,until they saw me actually arrive in the flesh......

Apparently I am known as a bit of a princess amongst our circle and they were surprised to hear of my extensive hard yakka history of grueling Girls Grammar Camps.

Hey, scoff if u will, nonbelievers, but u haven't roughed it til uv done BGGS grade 10 camp.

U hike up mountains for 15km a day carrying a massive pack, u eat out of cans, u pitch ur own tent, u poo in a hole in the ground. It's grueling, believe me. Also, the demented couple who ran our school camps outed me as some sort of smart ass ( I know!!! Me!!?? Outrageous!!) and made me carry the shit shovel the whole way!

I rode horses and canoed for hrs down rapids.

I ain't no princess mo fos!!

But I did burn and freckle :(

So this will now be an annual event for us. We have also had a handful of mates insist on joining us next year so it's probably only gonna get better! The biggest surprise and bonus for me was to watch my two boys enjoying the beautiful Noosa national parks and beaches without once missing their computers and playstations and tv. It doesn't get any better than that :)

My boys rock!

On that note, I do intend to make a few changes for next year to turn the camping into Betty Detox approved 'Glamping'..

I found these awesome tents online that are like Hawkeye and Hunnicutts tent on M.A.S.H. They are really roomy and come with tea light candle chandeliers!!!

How rad is that??? And they come in all colours inc pink and lavender, will prob just get canvas colored or else the boys might mutiny me on that one but......

Also, battery powered fans!!' it was soo friggen hot man!!! Fans are a must - found some online, ahhhh yeeah!

And camping mattresses. The blow up was just not doing it for me so special padded camping mattresses will be on the list.

2nd track of the day:

Ring of Fire : Johnny Cash

We weren't allowed to actually have a fire, but if we could've, we would've.

Back to reality thought this week and back to school, so housewife duties are calling me...

Today:

I am baking a chocolate marshmallow slice for the boys afternoon tea, which I have never tackled before. Should be unhealthily fantastico! Am on a fitness kick and am back at the gym so I can be fabulous and 40 at the end of March(!!!!!!!) but since I am only a 50's housewife once a week that guilty little voice in my head can shut the fuck up :) oh, and marshmallows are fat free so that really balances out don't you think?

Will post a photo and a recipe once I'm done!

Last track of the day for my 50's Housewife Friday Amigos?

The Lady Don't Mind - Talking Heads.

Don't ask me why, just got it stuck in my head.

Have a great week guys, I promise I won't stay away so long next time x missed u x

Cath xx

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.