Rant of the day: the older I get the more I realise people suck.

OK so here's a warning: I've got my bitch on today.

Yeah, it hasn't happened for awhile as lately I've been my awesomely positive, delightful self, charming everyone in my wake. Truly.

Seriously though, I've been pretty happy lately and have so many wonderful things to write but then there comes a day when everything gets on your tits.

It was inevitable, really.

And so I need to vent.

Apologies in advance for anything that I say that may offend...oh hell, if you're reading this you're clearly not easily offended so scrap this whole sentence.

So here 'tis my Rant of the Day (patent pending):

People suck. I mean seriously.

Its struck me for some time that there are some people in this world who seriously don't have enough to do. I mean, sorry people, my life is too full and I have too much on my plate to worry about what everyone else is doing. Its called a LIFE (yes I actually, truly do have one dad).

There are so many examples I could list here except no-one from work who may be reading this would ever speak to me again. Then again, anyone from work who is reading this must be pretty darn cool so you aren't on my radar.

Who is on my radar are those asshats fun police whose mission in life appears to try to ruin everyone else's day for the most minor of things that a NORMAL person wouldn't even give two craps about.  Or even notice. Or give two craps if they did...oops I already said that. You get the picture.

There's one in every crowd. In fact, they seem to be multiplying.

So while I'm just trying to do my job, I suggest you get on with yours.

And if you've got a problem, then you'll find I'm a pretty reasonable person to speak to about it. ie. TO MY FACE. My face, people. You may actually find out whatever you perceived I was doing wrong actually wasn't because it was simply carrying out orders of someone else. You know, for my JOB.

Going behind someone's back to try to stick the knife in puts you firmly on my asshat radar, and in this case backfired spectacularly. Karma, baby.

So even as I'm trying to rant, I'm obliged to point out that being nice to people actually worked in my favour this time, with YOU being taken down a peg or two from someone who has my back. As I said, karma.

So I should rephrase: a lot of people suck. Not everyone. But a lot.

Why is it that you can be having a great day until someone brings you down with a giant thud that then pays itself forward with you then having to try hard to not snap at everyone who has the misfortune of crossing your path? And then having to work extra hard to try to get back your equilibrium to once again resume charming the pants of everyone you meet (hey it's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it).

So sucky people, and you know who you are, get over it. There's no charge for being nice and if it makes you feel good to ruin someone else's day for no reason whatsoever, then that says more about you than it does about me. And not in a good way.

Get a life. And stay the hell out of mine.

Rant over.

(I feel better now).

Bec xx

Get a job. My rant of the day.

OK so I'm gonna get on my soapbox here for a bit. I don't usually drag out the old soapbox...well OK that's such a whopping lie I'm surprised my nose isn't growing, but I may perplex a few of you here cause it isn't about VPL or the topknot or fashion crimes requiring bleaching eyeballs...for once.

In this instance I read the news, which you know, is always a bad idea. And I read an article which has me majorly pissed and of course, feeling compelled to write about it.

So there you go you poor suckers, you get to be the recipients of today's rant.

So for you overseas readers, in Australia we have something called the Single Parenting Payment, which is pretty much significantly more than the unemployment payment. Like $110 per fortnight. Essentially it's a welfare payment to allow you to stay home or work part time while your raise your child.

Anyhoo, the government has...shock! horror!...decided that when your child turns 8, you will now be put over to the unemployment payment, thereby 'encouraging' those who have children of school age to, you know, get a job.

Sounds reasonable right?

Well to a large amount of non-working single mothers, apparently not. In fact, they're so irate that they're marching on Parliament House tomorrow to voice their opinions.

This may be an unpopular view, and I might be going against all my fellow single mother sisters but I just can't see how or why someone should feel like they're entitled to be a stay-at-home parent on the government's dime when their kid isn't even at home for the majority of the day.

Please don't get me wrong, this isn't a rant against stay-at-home mums (in fact I envy you having the choice to do it) but seriously, if you're on your own and unable to afford to stay at home, then you should work. End of story. If you're partnered and you make a choice to stay home because you're lucky enough that your partner can support all of you, then have at it. I'm jealous.

Personally I've been a single mother for the most part of E's life, who is now 12 years old, so I think I'm pretty qualified to have an opinion on this.

I also worked every day of my adult life up until just a few days before E was born, and quite frankly enjoyed getting a salary. The parenting payment, whilst pretty generous by government standards, simply wasn't going to work for me and I wanted to make a better life for my son than it would provide.

So I went back to work when E was quite small, like about 5 months old. Part time mind you, but still, I was out there working instead of letting the government provide. I then continued to work part time until E was in pre-school, at which time I returned to full time work and haven't looked back since.

Some have argued that I'm wrong and let daycare raise my child, and God knows I have carried a lot of guilt about not spending as much time with my child as I would have liked. However, as my stepmother pointed out (who as someone who worked three jobs as a single parent to fund her child's private education, also knows damn well of what she speaks), instead my son has gotten a role model who is teaching him a strong work ethic that will carry with him for life...monkey see, monkey do.

And what was the other choice...to stay at home, accept government benefits and have just enough to put food on the table? To me, there was no choice.

I came from an environment where my mum was expected to stay home and give up work after marriage, but just wasn't cut from the cloth that allowed her brain to do it. So I had the role models of two working parents and spent a fair amount of my time with babysitters, after school care, summer camps and the like. I certainly don't feel hard done by at all, in fact I revelled in the independence, and as the days go by and I see that my 12 year old is strong, independent, street smart and admiring of his mum for working hard to provide him with a good life, then the guilt lessens just a tiny bit.

Anyhoo, I'm getting a bit off topic. According to this article, apparently this decision of the government is going to cause 'massive social issues'. I mean what?

Excuse my ignorance but wouldn't the 'massive social issue' be the fact that all these mums are NOT working, thereby letting their skills date and becoming unemployable??? I mean, one day the kids are going to be 18 and the government won't give you a free ride any longer and then what? Not exactly demonstrating the winning formula to the kids, now are you?

Not to mention the self esteem issue. I get a lot of my self worth from my job, not to mention interaction with other human beings that you just don't get from hanging about the house and watching daytime TV. I feel useful, and like I'm contributing to society, rather than being a drain on it.

So my advice to these fellow single mums who plan to march tomorrow (and seeing as it's school holidays I'm wondering where the hell the kids are and whose looking after them seeing as being with them is such an important role???)...find a better use for your time and life and open up seek.com.au and GET A JOB.

Or get a degree. Get some skills. Get some self respect.

I guarantee one day your kids will thank you for it.

*stepping down from soapbox. Rant over.

Bec xx

An open letter to hosiery companies

Dear Sir

Clearly you are a 'sir' and not a 'madame' or else I would have no need to pen this letter. Women, as hopefully the primary wearers of your products would likely have identified and rectified the anomaly of which I am about to speak.

No I am not writing to complain that in a time of technological advances that you still have not invented a pair of pantyhose that can be worn more than twice. I do understand this would not be in your best financial interests and in this time of economic uncertainty you rely heavily on the repeat custom of people like myself that appreciate the look of a nice pair of stockings.

I am, however, writing to ask you to reconsider your approach to the packaging and displaying of your products.

The current practice of inserting a piece of card inside a portion of each pair of pantyhose/tights is deeply flawed. I am sure you are aware that that you manufacture items of a certain delicacy. I am certain your quality standards have been rigorously tested to ensure said cardboard is gently inserted and accurately aligned.

After all, that's why they pay you the big bucks.

However the issue I would like to draw your attention to is not the insertion, but the removal of the card. My fingers, being neither practiced nor quality tested, seem completely unable to retrieve said card without laddering an unfortunate and highly visible portion of the stocking, thus rendering them useless.

And at a price of generally more than $10 a pop, this is not ok.

I am resigned to the fact that my decision to cover my legs in hosiery must come at a price. Its usually one I will begrudgingly pay. However to fork out my cash for a product that lands in the bin before it touches my legs makes me feel like, well, a bit of an asshat.

The solution is really very simple. Remove the cardboard. I will then go back to contentedly pretending that it's perfectly acceptable to spend large sums of cash for items that can only be worn 2-3 times.

Thank you for your consideration of my feedback.

Kind regards

Bec

Bec's rant of the day: browsing, is bigger better?

So a key fashion trend for the fashionista in you is apparently the thicker brow - this trend has been (so originally) named browsing. news.com.au must be having a slow news day as it's one of their key stories.

Alice McCall said the brow complemented the total look of her collection. What?

There's even a video to show you how you too can get the 2012 brow, which according to Alice "personifies a high-fashion, edgy yet feminine style".

So what's my problem?

The originator of the accursed '2012 brow' makes the assumption that all of us have brows to start with.

I don't actually HAVE much of an eyebrow. My eyebrow routine consists of plucking about half a dozen hairs from either side and the odd wax to get rid of those annoying invisible hairs that interfere with my makeup. The fact that my eyebrows are dark blonde doesn't help matters and getting them tinted just highlights how thin they really are. In fact, it has been commented more than once that I should stop 'overplucking' my brows.

If only.

Generally I'm pretty happy with the situation as I'm not a slave to my beautician in order to not have a monobrow. I only have to go once or twice a year for a nice shaping.

And I know any of my thicker browed counterparts will be hating on me for this post. The unibrow and the Brooke Shields circa 1988 look has been ridiculed for decades. But the laugh is now on me because you are now automatically 'on trend'. And I'm not. And will never be.

Yes I'm superficial. But I feel like there's some exclusive club and I don't know the secret handshake.

So go forth you edgy 2012 fashionistas and enjoy your browsing. I just pray that this too will pass through our fashion annals as quickly as the bubble skirt. At least IT only comes around every 15 or so years when people have forgotten how absolutely unflattering they are.

Rant over.

xx

Bec's fashion advice of the day

Ladies, if you insist on wearing seamed stockings, please take a moment to ensure the seams are straight.

That is all.

xx

Bec's rant of the day...what has happened to sisterhood in motherhood?

I was reading one of my favourite blogs where she directed us to a controversial article that is currently making the rounds in the US. It's called the Modern Motherhood Conflict, and wow. This woman takes potshots at stay-at-home mums ('they have lost their minds') and likens the movement back towards natural parenting as turning the female back into an 'animal'.

The really disappointing thing is the author, Elisabeth Badinter, has a couple of really good points in the article but her controversial stances on select subjects have raised the ire of mothers everywhere which means anything sensible that she does say is diluted by the idiotic comments she peppers throughout the interview.

Her main points:

• Any gains made throughout the last 100 years that have allowed women to be more independent have been set back through the movement back to more natural forms of parenting
• Women are losing themselves in their children and then what? They grow up, move out, and women are left unskilled and unemployable
• Children benefit from learning how to get along without their mothers, therefore it is good for women to work outside of the home
• Breastfeeding puts the father completely aside, turns women into animals and formula is almost as good as breastmilk. Women shouldn't be made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding
• Women should not give up their identity when they become mothers

I was left at the end of this interview thinking, what ever happened to sisterhood?

It was a shame as some of this really resonated and made sense. The best advice I received was to be Bec first, mother second. You put yourself second, third, last so often and so automatically that it can be easy to get lose sight of yourself, particularly when sleep deprived. This advice in my opinion is really valid and so important for a mother's sanity. Taking just a few minutes of me-time in whatever form works for you (mine was a shower) helps you feel human, calms your emotions and really does make you a more positive parent.

I also agreed with women losing focus on their careers for extended periods of time. No-one knows what will happen in their lives, and I have seen women affected by divorce, death or illness that suddenly find themselves breadwinners and have no discernable skills apart from keeping a great house.

I am not disparaging stay-at-home mums in any way, yes they have many skills, but are they easily transferrable and recognisable in what is becoming a more competitive work environment during this period of rising unemployment? Technology changes in a whisper so skills from 5-10 years ago simply may not be enough to convince the employer you're up to the task.

I also struggled very much with breastfeeding, despite trying for months, and eventually my son rejected me entirely for a bottle filled with breastmilk. And yes, I did feel somewhat like a cow having to use the dreaded breast pump all the time. This doesn't mean that I'm not still an advocate of breastfeeding, all evidence points towards the the fact that it is absolutely the best start you can give your baby. However having been on the receiving end of glaring disapproval from staunch breastfeeders (who had no idea what I'd been through) when I pulled out a bottle, I do agree there should be more support for choice. The way she attacked breastfeeding proponents was, however, so over the top that it was hard to even see her point.

I pretty much disagree, and quite violently, with almost every other word coming out of this woman's mouth. She might think that natural parenting sets us back 100 years, but I feel her comments are setting the women's movement back 100 years.

Feminism to me, means giving women CHOICE. Choice whether or not to have children, choice whether or not to work, to breastfeed, parent and unlimited choice of career and equality despite your gender. Elizabeth's scathing attack on stay-at-home-mums and those who subscribe to natural parenting disparages this choice. I personally had to work for financial reasons, however I am completely envious of those who have the choice to work or not work. Choice being the operative word.

I have said on so many occasions on this blog that I adore my friends because they are supportive, uplifting and positive influences on my life. This is as it should be! Why do women persist in tearing each other down when we should be standing together? I find it terribly said that we criticise each other endlessly for working, not working, using cloth nappies or disposables, doing this, doing that...where does it end?

Elizabeth's attack on stay-at-home-mums is just as bad in my opinion as criticism for working mothers. When we all accept that we all have different parenting styles, different kids and different lives, and that provided our children are happy and healthy, our acceptance of each other's choices is what will drive us forward. Tearing each other down is what sets us back, not breastfeeding.

Whew. There's my rant for the day. What do you think? Do you agree with anything Elizabeth says or did the blood boiling in your veins make you not read past paragraph 1?

xx

Cathy's Rant of the Day: The Generation Gap

When I was at high school. they had this thing called The Inter-House Drama Competition. Each House would choose a play to perform in front of an auditorium full of over 1,000 people who had paid good money to attend and a you-beaut, proper Theatre Critic was even brought in to educate and announce the prestigious winning House. Needless to say it was a pretty big deal and so, on the first day of Grade 12, I shocked my Home Room teacher, Mrs Kimber, by announcing to the class that over the Christmas Holidays not only had I written the play but that I would also direct it and star in it.

She was shocked mainly because all of our interaction at that stage had been based around her making me remove the rings from my fingers, the black rubber bracelets from my wrists and making me wipe off eyeliner and mascara with special wipes she kept in her desk, so me doing something productive was shocking but she still seemed sceptical as in "what was this crazy young smart ass trying to pull this time...."
She tentatively took my scribbled offerings and told me she would let me know if it was acceptable.
After lunch she gave it back and said " Good work, select a team and get started..I give u total control..."

To cut a long story short my play was called "The Generation Gap" and was based very loosely on my home life, inspired by my daily pondering of "why can't my parents be cooler??"

My Mum: "Have u done ur study?"
"have u checked ur shifts at work?"
"are Rebecca's parents going to be home while ur there?"
"be on the last train!"
"u don't need make up, uv got fresh young skin!"

My Dad: "turn that music down - if u can call it music"
"what on earth are u wearing?"
"a boy rang, and he sounded like an idiot"
"ur going to kill urself in those shoes!"
and my personal favourite (whilst studying my GnR wall of posters):
"i tell all my friends you must want to be a zoo-ologist"

So in the play, the main girl, after being humiliated by her parents lameness, falls asleep and dreams of a world where her parents are cool. The mother (me) and father are transformed into rad party funsters who listen to loud metal, dress in black, smoke and drink and win over the girls friends with their awesomeness.
But, as in all good plays, there was a twist! Her parents are out-cooling the girl!! Her friends want to party with her parents more than with her, her mum has stolen her favourite clothes and nothing is getting done around the house. The girl realises when she awakes that she prefers her boring uncool parents and a happy ending is had for all.

Why am I telling u all this.....?

Because life had imitated art. But again, with a twist!

Yesterday arvo when I was cleaning the kitchen singing along with Blur, having a bit of a boogie my youngest son, Xavier came in and asked me to turn it down and commented that I always played it too loud.
When I was on my way to the Junk Bar on Tuesday night, just as I was getting behind the wheel my eldest, Seven calls down from the deck "ur not driving in those shoes are u?" I looked down at my black platform wedges and shrug and say "yeah.." He asks me to drive carefully and suggests I take them off and put them back on when I arrive.....But Dad....hang on...son.

When we arrived home, there he was again, pointing out that we'd said we'd be home by 11 and it was in fact 20 past..!

His friends come over and always want to play our records, play with our toys and hear our stories of past bands we have seen and funny stories of our own band, and what it was like in the old days (the 80's & 90's).

It just struck me last night after the "turn it down" scenario that when I wrote that play at 16 yrs old I stereotyped parents into what I assumed it would be like to be a parent, but in actual fact it turns out I am more like the mum from the dream sequence, and quite often forget that I'm not still a fun loving, carefree kid. I look around at my children and wonder if its to their detriment that I haven't completely grown up and forgotten what its like to just be me. But the daily positive reinforcement from them that I am indeed "The worlds BEST mother!!" and the fact they both seem pretty damn happy most of the time makes me realise that our version of parenting is working out pretty well and a lot of you are parenting the exact same way with similar results. Perhaps the Genration Gap is actually getting smaller....?

So, its Friday night!? Crank it up folks, crank it up!!!

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.

Cathy's rant of the day

Please, pass the valium before I go postal on somebodys arse.....sorry...its just, i am currently searching for a house in what seems to have become a suddenly outrageous and competitve Innercity Brisbane rental market and I have reached breaking point..

Now, I am a Brissy gal, born and bred and have been renting Innercity since 1995 and I have always lived in awesome pads in great locations for piss all rent, but for the first time I am struggling to find something for us thats under $650 a week!! I mean, geeez, thats a lot right!? And even the expensive ones are, to quote my 8 yr old son "complete crap holes", yet still have 600 people rushing to fill in applications, even though you need a degree in astro physics just to get through PART A of your national security clearance and ASIO identification check.

My first Innercity place when I was 21 cost $165 a week and all the references I needed was that I had $100 bond, a tv that worked and my own bong. It was right in the heart of the action of Paddo and was noisy, dirty and awesome!

Although, thinking about it, I shared that house with 3 smelly skaterboys and slept in a small sleepout which I had somehow managed to squeeze my queen size waterbed into (try lugging one of them from share house to share house, it's not easy....but cool) that had a curtain as a door. It was just me, my bed, my clothes and my dreams. Not too difficult to house I guess.

Don't get me reminiscing of the first place that my all mine...my Red Hill granny flat in 1998 that was a two bedroom home with a huge deck that overlooked an innercity rain forest. It was my Punk Rock Single Mother Paradise. Just me and my adorable 1 yr old son, Seven, oh and a deck full of girls, smoking cigarettes, drinking red wine and giving me my Girl Power, all for $155 a week including utilities. We lived there for 3yrs and the rent never increased!

Hmmmmm...reading back on this I guess 17 yrs have passed since that first place and I have aquired alot of stuff to be housed since then: one husband, 2 children, 1 siberian husky, 2 cats, 3 cars (one a hot pink 1973 beetle that needs a garage) huge furniture and lots of other crazy crap. Alot to house.....

So as I sit here waiting to hear if we beat out all the other applicants for the 4 bed, 2 bath, fenced for the dog, with a pool and a built in playground in the leafy backyard, opposite the park in a safe, quiet street in Bardon near my sons school, I wonder if the Innercity rental market really has changed...or doh!...is it me???

I blame the children.

Cathy xx

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.