Currently. And RIP Jill Meagher.

Thinking about: an article in The Courier Mail entitled 'Why I'll never walk home alone again' caught my eye yesterday. This powerful opinion piece was written by a young girl of similar age and circumstance as Jill Meagher, who just last week walked a short distance home after drinks with friends, and sadly never made it. She's left behind a devastated husband, a family in shock and sadly has perpetuated a legacy of women everywhere now feeling unsafe on our streets. The girl who wrote the article walked home, as she has done many times before, suddenly hyper-aware of her own safety in a way she never had thought about before. Fortunately for the writer, she made it home.

Personally I've been known to walk quite a distance by myself after a few drinks, and consider myself so lucky that nothing of consequence has ever happened to me. Last year after my work Christmas party, in fact, found me wandering the streets of Brisbane's Fortitude Valley, not the safest of places, dressed as Little Red Riding Hood of all things. I had tried to call a taxi, however the taxi service in question refused to pick me up as apparently during a certain window, you can only get a cab from designated taxi ranks. 

WTF?

I recall having a heated argument with the girl on the other end of the phone, which ended in me describing my appearance and telling her to remember that if any misfortune befell me that she could live with that for the rest of her life.

Not my finest moment, for sure, but seriously, I was a woman walking alone in the middle of the night and a company that we PAY to collect us safely basically refused to help me.

Again, I'm one of the lucky ones...I made it to the taxi rank and home safely.

I think the story of Jill Meagher has touched every woman everywhere, and sadly I personally won't be walking anywhere after dark anytime soon. Even sitting outside enjoying the evening last night, I suddenly became hyper-aware myself of every noise, every crunch of leaves, and scared myself into going back inside and putting on the deadbolt.

RIP Jill.

Watching: so this long weekend (long weekend, yay!) has seen me catching up on a lot of my favourite shows which have come back on air after the US summer hiatus. My father picked up E on Friday to spend some time in Tenterfield during the school holidays (where I have heard he has been put to work doing manual labour around the motel...child labour laws, anyone??? haha), so I've had time to spare to just chill.

It's a pathetic display of my life that I can say that I have THOROUGHLY enjoyed watching HIMYM, New Girl, Two Broke Girls, Dance Moms and Puberty Blues in blissful silence, and have now discovered Switched at Birth, which is an intriguing drama series about two teenage girls who discover there was a mixup at the hospital and their families took home the wrong baby. The most interesting part is that one of the girls is deaf, which brings a whole new dimension to the drama. Beautifully done.

Anticipating: unfortunately I'm heading to Brisbane tomorrow for a funeral. Despite the sadness of this occasion I am looking forward to spending some time with my favourite girls while we celebrate the life of someone very special. I'm very lucky to have an understanding workplace to allow me to be there for my friend during this rough time in her life.

Enjoying: a lazy sleep in this morning (nearly 10am thank you!) followed by one of my favourite breakfasts...lactose free vanilla yoghurt (because lactose makes me feel ugh), with gluten free muesli (ditto) and fresh, delicious strawberries. It tastes like dessert. Yuuuummm.

I hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend, for those who get one! Have an amazing day :)

xx

Rihanna, Chris Brown. Hot messes and photobombing.

OMG so the celebrity dweeb-o-verse has exploded this week. I can't restrain myself however I hardly know where to begin with my opinionated commentary.

So in no particular order, because I couldn't decide one, here's my take on the fact that you might be able to buy celebrity, but brains are clearly an optional extra.

• In news that probably matters to no-one except me, apparently Bachelorette Emily is PAYING (yes, paying) winner Jef to pretend to be her fiance. Never mind that he actually has more money than her (ahem, he's a friggen millionaire), and has already upped sticks from the city where his very successful BUSINESS is, to move to HER hometown, and is already helping coach her daughter's soccer team...this is apparently gospel. Right.

• Dina Lohan having the sheer balls to call out Amanda Bynes' parents for not being around. Because you've done such a STELLAR job with your offspring. You certainly have been present, photographed with your 15 year old daughters inside a club at 3am...you're the Mother of the Year, Dina. And at least Mr & Mrs Bynes haven't appeared slurring and totally out of it, commenting on Dr Phil's 'little tie and little shoes' lately. Pot. Kettle. Black, Dina. Pot. Kettle. Black. Oh never mind, have another drink. Can you say hot mess?

• Some dude in Hong Kong wants to pay a man $65 million to woo and marry his daughter. Who's already married. To her wife. Yeah. 

• OK to onto a topic that has progressively made my blood boil and my stomach heave every day over the past couple of years: Rihanna and Chris Brown. So he's going before the judge for a probation hearing to do with HITTING RIHANNA IN THE FACE. And this is the Twitter exchange between the two ahead of the hearing. 'Praying for you baby'????? Um, honey, this is the dude that PUNCHED YOU REPEATEDLY IN THE FACE. THE FACE. YOUR FACE!!!! And now he may or may not be snogging Nicole Scherzinger in public (who wisely, has denied, denied, denied that any such contact would EVER be made with said monster. Well played). 'Remember that whatever God does in our lives, it is WELL DONE'???? Well unless you consider the job that asshat Brown did ON YOUR FACE well done....

Seriously. I feel unwell when I even think of these two. The woman beater and the woman who loved enabled him. Ugh. Please just go away. Both of you. I beg of you.

You're off the ipod playlist. Not that you were ever on there, as I think both of you kinda suck, but now you're off SYMBOLICALLY.

• On a lighter note (and to lower my blood pressure which I can feel escalating by the second due to aforementioned topic), is this the best Photobomb EVER????

Love it.

Happy Friday all! Hope you're having a wonderful day. I'm personally looking ahead to a fabulous LONG weekend (3 days...woohoo!) with beautiful sunny weather. Can't wait to get out amongst it.

xx

Time for Botox? And other matters.

Last night I had the strangest dream (also feeling a sense of deja vu as I type haha).

I was at a dermatologist getting microdermabrasian, which isn't all that weird as I get this done every year or two and feel like I'm due for another 'cleanup'.

However, as the dude was microdermabrading (or whatever the hell you call sandpapering my face), out of nowhere he pipes up 'I'll just pop a bit of Botox in there shall I?' as he simultaneously jabbed my scowl marks between my eyebrows with a needle.

No warning. And it HURT.

Scariest dream I've ever had.

I woke up slightly perplexed wondering if my subconscious was trying to tell me something????

Pondering this question whilst staring at my makeup-less face in the mirror this morning (scary enough at the best of times), I have to acknowledge that ye old furrows are starting to become more pronounced. I've always considered myself lucky that ye crows feet haven't hit me too hard just yet (thank you, thank you mother who largely advocated sunglasses at all times) but this eyebrow thing is starting to bug.

It doesn't help that when I'm ferociously concentrating on something at work, it isn't unheard of for passers-by to say something HILARIOUS along the lines of 'cheer up, it could be worse!'.

Now I won't say I'm averse to a bit of a jab, however I haven't gone there....yet. Part of me is afraid that I'm going to look like a more frozen, plastic version of Dannii Minogue (eeek) and I'm not really fond of that super shiny look that often accompanies said Botox. Not to mention a needle IN MY FACE.

My friends and I have often discussed plastic surgery, to the tune of 'if we won the lottery what would we have done?' and the answers range from a total body overhaul to being violently opposed, to once being violently opposed and now not THAT averse when staring into getting-older face in mirror. Especially the morning after a girls get-together.

I sit on the 'whatever makes you happy side' although I don't really have any inclination to change the way I look, I just want people to think I'm WAAAAYYY younger than I actually am.

Nothing wrong with that, right?

So I want to throw out the question...have you had Botox? Would you recommend it? What's the maintenance like and if you don't maintain, does it make you look worse?

This is all slightly pie-in-the-sky seeing as I can barely afford a haircut these days, let alone expensive 'maintenance' but I thought I'd throw it out there.

On completely other matters and unanswerable questions...

Why is it when a colleague tells you they're going home because they just threw up that it automatically makes you feel nauseaus too???

Happy Thursday all! Hope your dreams are not as frightening as mine.

xx

Friendship in the dark days.

So due to a few things that have happened recently to a friend of mine, it's made me really stop and think how I can be a great friend when times are tough for them.

Sometimes it's difficult to know what to do or say to help your friends out when they're going through troubled times. Let's face it, 'cheer up, the sun will come out tomorrow' may work for Annie but when bad things happen, it's basically the equivalent of putting a bandaid on a broken leg.

I find that most friends just appreciate the simple and small things. Letting you know you're there, no matter what, letting them talk if they need to, letting them wallow when they need to, let them cry when they need to, and making them laugh when you feel they need to is more important than any words you can say.

I know I'm being deliberately vague here as the circumstances involved is not my story to tell, however someone close to me is experiencing one of the most devastating things that can ever happen at the moment.

I feel terrible that I'm now living 2 hours away from her as if I'd still been in Brisbane I would have dropped everything to be at her side, no matter what. I just really want to give her a huge hug.

However at a distance I hope I'm still being a supportive friend. I might be out of touching distance but I hope she knows I'm there in her heart and thinking about her and her family.

One day she might have the opportunity to tell her own story, and it's both sad, amazing and inspirational, all at the same time.

Having had a dark day or two myself, I know my best memories of my friends is not what they said, but just knowing they were THERE. Day. Night. No matter the time or the circumstance, I felt comfort just knowing they were just a phone call away if I needed them.

How do you help your friends during the dark days? What do you like people to do when you're going through your own troubles?

Deep stuff for a Tuesday, and quite introspective for me! I promise to stop contemplating my navel soon...I swear!

xx

Welcome Home.

This goes out to one of the most amazing and special families I know. This says it better than I ever could.

Welcome Home

To those I love and those who love me

When I am gone, release me

let me go, I have so many things to see and do

You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears

Be happy that we've had so many years

I gave you my love, you can only guess

How much you gave to me in happiness

I thank you for the love you each have shown

But now it's time I travelled on alone

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must

Then let your grief be comforted by trust

It's only for a while that we must part

So bless the memories within your heart

I won't be far away, for life goes

For if you need me, call and I will come

Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near

And if you listen with your heart you'll hear

All of my love around you soft and clear

And then, when you must come this way alone

I'll greet you with a smile and 'Welcome Home'

Anonymous.

xx

Fabulous weekends and Monday boredom.

So custom-ordered sunshiney days this weekend, followed by a rainy and sometimes downright scary stormy Monday! The organisers of the Carnival of Flowers must be so happy, not to mention relieved. It would totally suck to spend six months (and a zillion gardeners) gearing up for a special event to not only have it rained out but completely flattened by hail, rain and wind.

Yesterday all the best laid plans and all that...

Woke up crazy late (aaahhh just when I thought the days of the lovely lie-in were behind me) yesterday morning to a glorious, and quite hot, Sunday.

Summer dresses and thongs! Quite a contrast to the trackie/jacket combo I was sporting...ah...just last week???

My stepsister had announced the day before that she and the kids were driving through Toowoomba on their way to her parents place in Central Queensland and we arranged to meet up while she was here. She was due at 11am, however (as can often happen when you throw 2 kids, a dog and a rabbit in the mix), they didn't actually get on the road until about 11am so we didn't see them until nearly 1pm.

A lovely lunch at Jilly's later, we hit the shops for a bit of much-needed therapy (in advance of Sandy's long solo drive with 2 kids/dog/rabbit and a partridge in a pear tree) and by that stage the day was practically gone...

So we didn't end up making it to the Food, Wine and Flower Festival after all.

Oh well, the gardens are showing until the end of the month so we will make sure we check them out. I think I can smell them anyway - I sit in my backyard and can inhale the aroma of jasmine or some such intoxicating scent...yummy.

Speaking of backyards, is it time to mow the lawn when #1 son says 'mum, soon I'll be able to lay down in the grass and you won't be able to find me' ??????
So today has been a bit of let-down, hearing the rain thundering on the building roof, looking out onto the grey, stormy vista and occasionally having the shit scared out of me by some errand thunder that honestly seems so much louder in Toowoomba than it ever did in Brisbane???

Oh one highlight of the day - my new iphone cover. It's for work so I thought I should probably not lower the tone like I would for my personal one. So pretty though...

Speaking of iphones, what's your take on the new connector for the iphone 5???? Seems like a blatant cash grab to me, yeah?

Hope you're all having a wonderful Monday. Let me know what you did on the weekend! I'd love to know.

xx

Life is a sideshow...and all that...

A lovely bit of downtime today after a hectic week!

Yesterday was a bit of a debacle from the word 'go'. Couldn't prise myself out of bed with a can-opener, we were out of coffee and the day was going pear-shaped before it even began.

I was sent on an errand to deliver something and got a vague address and name, and walked the street searching in vain. A few phone calls later, I ended up at the council asking for assistance, waiting more than 1/2 hour just to find out I was literally METRES away from my location in the first place...d'oh.

Then along came the heaviest storm I've experienced in years - it was rain but felt like hail and as I was driving a company car, and I know how particular my boss is about his vehicles, I ran for cover to wait it out.

Then on my way back to the office, I had to collect some gifts for people and promptly got lost...halfway to Dalby later I managed to find my way back in time to collapse at my desk and realise I probably really, really need to invest in GPS.

Double d'oh.

It all gets put into perspective however when I heard that our housewife Cathy is dealing with some personal stuff and hence was not particularly inspired to do her regular 'housewife' update yesterday. Thinking of you honey and hoping you'll get through this tough situation xx.

So this weekend is Toowoomba's Carnival of Flowers and you can absolutely smell it in their air, despite being probably about 10kms from the action. The heady rush of spring flowers mingled with the mouth-watering tang of BBQ'd meat...delicious.

We're definitely heading over there tomorrow to check it all out. There's colour everywhere and even the flower displays in the middle of the main streets of Toowoomba are ablaze with colour and the most gorgeous scent. What a lovvely moment in time for my hometown, which is feeling more and more like mine every day.

So in addition to this, it's school holidays! It's hard to imagine that my little boy is going to enter his very last term of primary school in just 2 weeks...then off to high school! Crazy. A friend of mine posted a photo of her wedding the other day on Facebook. It was so evocative (and an amazing picture to boot) because I vividly remember being pregnant at that particular wedding (I'm still sure that's why I scored the invite, because I wouldn't drink the bar dry lol). In some ways that day feels like yesterday however it's also hard to imagine life before E. Whew, nostalgic moment # 6,596, huh???

So I'm anticipating a wonderful day tomorrow, checking out our first ever Carnival of Flowers. The weather, despite yesterday's flash storms, is perfect today, warm and sunny and perfect for strolling around some lovely gardens (and of course checking out sideshow alley, which is where I know E will be making a beeline).

So wishing you all a lovely weekend and hoping you're enjoying it as much as me.

xx

Confessions of an online shopping addict.

So Gerry Harvey is back in the news today, this time slamming his own family for partaking in online shopping and therefore 'ruining our country' and putting a spoke in the wheel of his campaign to introduce GST to online purchases.

Gerry, wake up and smell the real world.

It isn't the GST that we object to, it's the overinflated prices we Aussies are subjected to on a daily basis.

So confession...I'm an online shopping junkie.

Yes, I like to browse the stores occasionally and I am partial to trying on my clothes before buying. I love to have a girlie shopping day and can spend hours in Priceline testing new lipsticks on the back of my hand.

But here's what I don't like.

I don't like the long queues. I went to buy tights last week at Target on a weekday at 11am and the queue was 63 people long - I counted. I put down said tights, walked out and bought them online instead. Delivered straight to door, no fuss, no bother.

I don't like the crowds. Finding a park, even with my carpark karma, can ruin your whole day. Not to mention I'm still acclimating to the slower pace (and OMG, I mean SLLLLLOOOOWWW pace on some of these shoppers) in Toowoomba. Traumatising. No thank you very much.

But what I most dislike, Mr Harvey, is being ripped off.

Recently I went to buy my ultimate favourite product, Benefit Benetint Lip & Cheek Stain, at Myer (LOVE LOVE LOVE this product, could espouse it's amazing virtues for days!!!). I was advised that they don't sell it in Toowoomba but would happily order it from their Brisbane store and have it shipped up.

The cost? $65 for the product plus $10 delivery fee. Mind you, that wasn't delivery to my house, but delivery to the store where I'd then have to go pick it up.

Ebay? $32 including shipping. Delivery to door. EXACT. SAME. PRODUCT.

So perhaps my mathematics is a little skewed, but 10% GST on $32 would be $3.20, making it a total of $35.20 for my purchase, would I have paid GST. Um....once again, pardon my ignorance but it seems like quite a gap from the $75 including delivery to buy it from the store.

Don't even get me started on jeans, clothes and Iphone prices!!!

Once they used to be able to explain it away vaguely as our dollar being so weak compared to the mighty USD. Perhaps I'm showing my ignorance and limited grasp of economics again, but I was under the impression that our dollar had been above par for quite some time, yet prices haven't changed a single bit???

Mr Harvey, I'll happily support local business provided I don't get gouged at the checkout for the same products I can get elsewhere for a fraction of the price. I'd even happily pay the bloody 10% GST if it makes you feel better, as I'm still pretty confident I'm getting a better deal.

So Ebay, amazon.com and asos.com is a-calling...it's a siren song...

xx

I love the smell of flowers in the air...

This is what I'm greeted with every morning at the front door of work! Magic!

After working on the 25th floor in the Brisbane CBD for 7 years, this is a wonderful novelty!

Currently.

I haven't done one of these in a while so thought I'd revisit 'Currently', inspired by one of my favourite blogs, Sometimes Sweet's posts.

Watching:
This is almost as embarrassing as Toddlers and Tiaras (although nothing is as embarrassing as admitting watching The Shire), but my new obsession now that all of my favourite shows seem to be on a break, is Dance Moms.

I guess I can relate to this one, growing up as a total dance kid myself, I have endured nasty dance teachers (telling you if you don't pull your stomach in, they'll cut it off and eat it for dinner???) and some really ambitious and grasping dance mums.

Luckily for me, my mum couldn't bear the politics and was a failed dance mum, opting instead to slow down outside the studio long enough for us to jump out before gunning the accelerator and buggering off as fast as she could.

Smart lady.

Watching these talented kids and their delusional mothers is a guilty pleasure and certainly is helping fill the gaps until The Vampire Diaries/True Blood/Pretty Little Liars et al opt to grace us with their presence once more.

If you've ever danced or want your kids to dance, it's a must see!

Anticipating:
The smell of spring in the air! Toowoomba is renowned for its Carnival of Flowers and it all kicks off this weekend with it's Flower, Wine and Food Festival. Apparently some of the gardens featured are a must-see and I'm really looking forward to stopping and...well...smelling the roses. Stay tuned for what I'm sure will be some amazing pics.

Incidentally, the garden inside our work grounds has just had the most gorgeous orange flowers spring up this week which makes it such a pleasure to come to work...sort of.

Discovering:
Forgive me if this is old news, but I've just stumbled onto the miracle of Epsom Salts! I have heard about them of course for relieving sore muscles and tired feet but hadn't heard what a fabulous skincare product it could be. Reading a blog somewhere this woman talked about how she used it on her face and it was a nice, easy and cheap (always a bonus) solution so I thought I'd give it a go.

Living in Toowoomba, you are covered from ears to toes for several months of the year, which in my case resulted in needing to shed about a zillion layers of 'snake skin' now that it's getting a little warmer out. So I soaked in a lovely Epsom bath and then mixed the salts with my exfoliator and went nuts.

20 million layers of skin floating in the bath later and RESULT! And skin like a baby's bottom...hooray for me!

Since then, I've been using Epsom Salts every other day on my face, just mixed in with my cleanser. And it's made the most ridiculous difference, that I'm simply stunned. I have problem skin and issues with adult acne (which as someone who went through my teenage years relatively spot-free is kinda mortifying). Since using this, not only is my skin noticeably brighter, but my existing spots have cleared up really fast and no new ones developing...

Just magic.

On Monday, running late for work, half asleep and clutching much-needed caffeine in hand, I ran into a co-worker who commented that I looked 'bright and raring to go'. As I was sleep deprived and feeling brain-dead, I can only attribute said miracle comment to Epsom Salts.

The best bit is not just the soft and clear skin but also I didn't realise the magnesium that is absorbed, which helps raise your serotonin levels naturally. And God knows I'll take all the serotonin I can get.

And Epsom, if you're reading this, feel free to sponsor me as a lifetime of salts sounds pretty damn fine.

Although now I've discovered that I can buy an 11kg bucket for just $30, if I don't hear from you, I might just live.

Reading:
So I just finished the three 'Grey' books and I have to say I wish I'd stopped after the first. Number 1 was OK and I did grow to feel for the characters and was interested in their development, however by halfway through the third book I just wanted the story to be finished already and grew to actively dislike pretty much both of the main characters. The plotlines just rambled and the carry-on between the pair (and I don't mean in the bedroom/Red Room of Pain) was ridiculous to the point of stupid.

Apologies to the millions of women who are obsessed with Christian and Ana, but I wanted to gag and smack them both extremely hard.

Listening to:
A total blast from the past popped onto the random rotation today:

Pump Up the Jam, Technotronic.

OMG I so remember going (underage) to the Bond Uni pub with my sister and some friends and dancing with some old blokes (I mean, senior citizen old, not dad old) and boogeying down to this gem. There's a bit that tells you to 'get down' and then 'get up' - well these poor old blokes gave it their all, but I feared when they got 'down' that there might not be too much getting back up in their future.

The memories in songs...aaahhh.

Make your day...if only to laugh at the 80s hair/costuming and bum bag that goes sooooo well with lycra.

So there you are. Hope your week is travelling well! Personally I'm shattered after an all-day meeting so I'm off to feed my brain some junk food in the form of another episode of Dance Moms.

Have a good one!

xx

When bad songs go bad...part II

'The Vengabus is coming'...

Vengaboys.

2 days and counting.

I hate you.

xx

Disclaimer: Author takes no responsibility for this or part I of When Bad Songs Go Bad or any future posts that may contain terrible songs that stick in your head, either partially or in entirety. Read at your own risk.

Do you tell your friend her husband's a douche?

One thing that you've probably already gathered about me is that I think a lot about friendships (and think very highly of friendships). I've written about wonderful, enriching friendships, toxic friendships (oxymoron?), old friends and new friends and the importance I place on them in my life.

I think it's pretty obvious that I think the world of my friends and, as the saying goes, would be beside them in the jail cell saying 'whoa, that was awesome, let's do it again' (and must say I am utterly, utterly shocked that Cathy and I are yet to find ourselves in this position. In time. In time).

So it saddens me when I see demands, restrictions or judgments placed on friendships because from the outside in, it seems too clear that these aren't really friends at all, but to the persons involved it cuts deeply.

Recently I heard of a situation where a girl I know has a friend who decided she hated her then-boyfriend (now husband and father of their daughter). Apparently this girl has basically ignored her when she's out and about with her hubby but then wants to be friends when it's just the two of them, saying it shouldn't matter that she hates her other half. My friend has taken offence to this and thinks she should at the very least tolerate her husband as he's...well...her husband.

I tend to agree, in principle.

I think it's fine to be (nicely) honest with your friends if they're seeing a guy that you think is just all wrong for them. I probably wouldn't even say it outright that I didn't like them, more just plant questions in their heads to try to make them recognise that the guy in question isn't treating them right. However, I think the straightest path to a friendship-ending explosion is to tell your friend that the guy she's dating is a douche.

Now if she's married to him, on the other hand, then unless he's abusing her then I really think you don't have the right to say anything at all.

He's her HUSBAND. She stood up in front of friends and family and vowed to love him and that carries weight (and if it doesn't, then it should!). Certainly more weight than your friendship.

Another friend of mine is now married to a lovely man who recognised early on in the piece that her friends didn't really treat her like they should and called them on it. Ergo, they hated him. Mind you, I'd recognised this was true myself and had often said something so he wasn't off the mark. Perhaps a little overprotective, but he was trying to look out for her best interests.

So when they got engaged, an engagement celebration was thrown by said friends...however her husband-to-be WASN'T INVITED. 

Sorry, wtf?????

I'm really lucky that my closest friends have husbands that I actually DO like. We do tend to keep our circle very woman-centric, so generally any self-respecting hubby very wisely runs for the hills and organises a concurrent boys night the minute he finds they're hosting a girls-do. Smart men. So quite often I don't really see them that often but in general, they're all really nice blokes.

However we've all had friends who've dated douches, and quite frankly I've dated a few of these myself. It's pretty telling that I had a long relationship and later found out that my good friend couldn't STAND the guy, yet she'd never said a word during the time, other than to ask a lot of questions about how he treated me and made me feel etc (which is basically what I do). Eventually I came to the conclusion on my own that he was a douche and bolted on my own accord, with friendship still completely intact.

It's like someone bitching about your sister - YOU'RE allowed to do it, but heaven help anyone else who does!!!

It's a matter of respect for your friend and their choice. YOU might not like the guy but if he's making your friend happy then it's none of your business.

So my advice is, if your mate, in your opinion, is dating, or god forbid, married to a douche, then tread carefully. 

What do you think? Is your friend dating a douche? Or does one of YOUR friends think your hubby is a douche? What do you do about it? I'd love to hear.

xx

How many degrees of Kevin Bacon?

How exciting that Google has finally gotten on board with the age-old game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

For those who've been living in a cave, Six Degrees is based on the fact that pretty much any celeb can somehow be linked to Kevin Bacon through movies in six degrees or less and since then has pretty much entered the vernacular to mean anything that shows it's a small world or a weird coincidence.

Man gets around.

ie.

"It's all a bit six degrees of Kevin Bacon, isn't it?"

So now Google has jumped on board and you can type in 'Bacon Number' followed by your favourite celeb and it will show the links directly.

Hooray for pointless, entertaining technology.

So having abandoned more critical matters, I have spent a thoroughly entertaining 20 minutes typing in any celeb name I can think of.

My ultimate Bang guy? Christian Slater = 2

Daniel Craig? Also 2. Ditto Rita Hayworth, Lindsay Lohan, Chevy Chase, BILLY IDOL, Alexander Scarsgard, Blake Lively and even River Phoenix!

Even The Don and Obama rank as a 2.

In fact the largest number I could find goes to Keith Urban and John F Kennedy - ranked as a 3.

Man REALLY gets around.

Cathy - this one's for you - Steve Adler is a 2! Although Nikki Sixx a lowly 3.

I even typed in my own name and it didn't come up. Disappointment! Shame on you Mr Bacon.

So folks, now you really will NEVER be bored again!

How did I live before?

xx

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday. Getting my rollerskate on.

Yes it's that time of the week again. 50s Housewife Friday!!

Hope everyone is having an awesome day. It's gorgeous weather here in lovely downtown BrisVegas!

Drove the boys to their schools this morning as I was feeling incredibly lazy and had an awesome singalong to the first track of the day:

Motley Crue: Home Sweet Home

Oh Nikki Sixx I love you so!! Kisses to you, if ur reading this! (how awesome would that be, if he read this blog weekly, just to check in with what I'd been up to...Bec, can u find out if he does or not? Thanks - get back to me).

So am currently on the back deck in the sun typing this, sipping an icy diet coke and have just finished flipping through my Who mag. Things I have taken from this week's read are thus:

BETTY DETOX'S TOP 5 FACES I JUST DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE EVER AGAIN:

1. Chris Brown. Just fuck off
2. Rihanna - u too
3. Lara Bingle - WTF and who the hell cares?
4. Kim Kardashian and any related Kardashians - obviously
5. Lindsay Lohan - see no. 3. Although would love to see Lynds on Dr Drewe's Celebrity Rehab - that would be awesome. She'd get on beautifully with Steve Adler from GnR :)

Track 2 in the car this morning:

Suicidal Tendences: Possessed to Skate

Such a great band. Sev hadn't heard them before! Well, I felt like a bad mother when he told me that...made up for it by following up with Trip to the Brain. All good.

On today's 50s Housewife Friday agenda:

Some vanilla and coconut cream cake pops for one of my BFF's birthday. Believe it or not, we're going rollerskating @ Stafford Skate Rink tonight to celebrate and I literally could not be more excited! I used to frequent Stafford Skate Rink when I was but a lass. We had our grade 6 and 7 Aspley East State School Balls there in the 80s (after those Bastards knocked down Cloudland where they were always held before :().

I have to say though that "The Deep" at Albany Creek was really our rollerskating home. Every Friday night for practically all of 83-87 me and my friends would tsunami into The Deep, grab a lemon lime slush puppy and hit the rink. Some of the funnest times ever! My first ever boyfriend, Craig Dyer, gave me a gold plated rollerskate on a gold chain for my 11th birthday and we were the coolest couple to ever hit Couples Skate. I can still remember that I was wearing a white fish tail skirt and a pink paisley top...nawww cute little kids.

Tonight I shall expect to hear "Wired for Sound" by Cliff Richard and "Run to Paradise" by the Choirboys.

Afterwards, a weekend of going nowhere and doing nothin but hanging out in the backyard with everyone's favourite 50s husband and 50s children and finishing off our awesome fort "Fort Skull", which now officially has a big skull attached to the front of it, and finishing up of vege garden which turned out to be soooo massive that I need 84,000 more bags of dirt to complete the MF. Will be lovely when it's done and I can start stuffing home grown organic goodness down everyone's throats. If you come over, bring a bag - believe me, there'll be plenty!

So better get my bake on and dust of my beloved speed skates...let's see what my Ipod wants to play last to send you off...

Ahhh great choice:

Betty Detox: Snatch

Have a great Friday y'all!!!

Cathy xx

PS. Lead guitarist from Betty Detox: call me back ya spanner head!

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s housewife by sedating herself and cooking, baking and ironing, and being nice to her husband. Any other day is a crapshoot.

Lessons I have learned from Puberty Blues.

So the 'classic' (and I use that term loosely) coming-of-age drama of a 70s teen experiencing surfing, peer pressure and sex (and not necessarily in that particular order) has been made into a television series.

Now if Go Ask Alice was the book that scared you shitless about drugs, and Dirty Dancing the movie that made you SOOOO wanna dance topless with Patrick Swayze, then Puberty Blues was your average parents-of-girls horror story. Panel vans, possibly the WORST Aussie accents to ever grace a screen, liberal use of the word 'Mole', which seems to have several accepted meanings, ie:

• An ugly girl who is not at all appealing to the opposite sex (but would probably 'root' her anyway)
• The name for a girl who 'roots' you too soon in the relationship (ie. under 2 days) - these are rocky waters to navigate as anything over a week or two then you are 'frigid'
• Anyone who pisses you off

Thirteen has nothing on this horror show.

So I have watched both the movie and the TV series to date. One notable difference is that the cast of the TV series is substantially better looking than the original movie, however it's maintained the premise that the only thing a girl was good for in the 70s was a 'root'.

It's can't-look-away, car crash telly at it's very best, as only Australian TV can.

So what lessons have I learned from Puberty Blues?

• The way into the popular group is to share your ciggies and get caught cheating by writing your answers on your thigh, just like the queen bee, but then not dob her in
• Scrag fights are a perfectly normal thing for a teenage girl to engage in and in fact earn her respect
• 'Vaso' was the accepted form of lubrication. Ditto baby oil for suntan lotion
• If the popular girl asks you 'wanna come down the dunnies for a smoke' she's asking you to come to the toilets for a cigarette, and that also means you've succeeded in infiltrating the popular group!
• Girls are to sit on the beach and fetch and carry for the boys. Girls should not express any desire to surf, or nay, even get wet
• Girls are simply receptacles for boys to have a 'root'. ie. 'when should I let him root me'
• Being cool is everything
• The female orgasm does not exist

Perhaps I missed the point but there's my take on this cringeworthy but thoroughly entertaining flashback. I'd say we've come a long way since then, but I fear I'm sadly mistaken.

I do have a question regarding the television series: I distinctly remember hideous short-shorts being all the rage in the 70s yet these girls walk miles to the beach wearing JEANS. wtf?

So hope you've learned a thing or two from this post. I for one am slightly relieved to have had a boy!

xx

Fifty shades of wtf.

What a wonderful weekend of doing a bit fat pile of nothing!

A bit of housework, a food shop and a lot of sitting in the sun...magical. The highlight being my son taking me out to dinner last night as a belated birthday present. We aimed to go to La Porchetta, a wonderful pizza/pasta place that makes mouthwatering, out-of-this-world pizzas, however it wasn't open when we got there.

As we were STARVING, we decided to head across the road to....Sizzler!

Haha yes I see the irony, from an upscale seafood buffet one day to Sizzler. But it is what it is, and frankly the food ain't all that bad.

So harping on this age thing...it's probably a sign of old age maturity to get excited about your steam mop, yeah? God I love that thing, it's effortless and quick and makes me actually want to mop.

Now I'm hardly the perfect housewife and not exactly the most houseproud person (cue all my friends rolling their eyes at this news with a giant, collective 'duh'), so it's pretty weird for me to get worked up over any kind of cleaning apparatus. So when one comes along, it's time to sing Hallelujah!

Anyhoo...enough about boring cleaning...

So I finished Fifty Shades yesterday and I would like to say that it's Fifty Shades of f--ked up, however the author has already beat me to it, like 50,000 times.

I must say the characters were endearing which keeps you reading however if there was a drinking game based on Ana biting her lip, then I would've been paralytic before the third chapter. It got to the point where I really wanted to give the fictional protagonist a good hard slap of my own. Pun intended.

Seriously, author, whoever the hell you are, enough already.

It was entertaining enough but I really cannot see how this book has taken the women of the world by storm (which ergo then enables them to take their men by storm, hehe). I supposed it has introduced kinky fuckery into the vernacular and sex shops everywhere thank you for it.

So an uneventful and yet luxuriously decadent weekend of big fat nothings. Need more of em. Getting up for work tomorrow will be painful!

Hope you had a wonderful weekend :)

xx

Grown up, getting old...the Birthday lament.

So yesterday was my 39th birthday (thank you Miss Housewife for your birthday-dedicated post). For the record, you may have been throwing up in my garden 23 years ago, however I was of course behaving with class and dignity as always.

Really.

By the way, where's my birthday cake pops?

Hope you and your fantastic ass have an awesome time at The Zoo this eve.

I had the most excellent day - waking up to breakfast in bed courtesy of # 1 son (vegemite on toast and coffee, if you're wondering) followed by a long, lazy lie-in. I had decided to take the day off as, really, who wants to go to work on their birthday?

Dad was coming up to see me for lunch so when there was a knock on the door about 10am, I truly wasn't expecting it to be him. Here he was, armed with weed killer, ready to do a number of the little varmints popping up all over my lovely white pebbled driveway.

Only my dad would come to take me out for a birthday lunch and attack a bunch of weeds beforehand.

Thanks dad :)

We then stocked up on grog for Dad's motel as this was Dad's trip to 'the big smoke'. I think the guy at the counter must have thought we were alcoholics judging by the haul we took through the checkout.

Then onto the most amazing seafood buffet I've seen (and tasted) in years. And as the self-appointed quality control inspector for the day, I was very thorough in my investigations, haha.

So thoroughly full of seafood (yuuuuummmm) and some time with my daddy (awwww) I came home to do, well, pretty much NOTHING for the rest of the afternoon until E got home from school.

Wonderful.

Yes it sounds pretty non-eventful but that's the way I like it. You see, for the record my birthdays usually SUCK. Something bad always seems to happen - sickness, someone in hospital, car breakdowns, fights with friends, breaking up with boyfriends, you name it, I've experienced it.

I've come to the conclusion that the only way my birthday can be enjoyed is to just plan very little and take the day to chill out. Consequently the last two birthdays seem to have been pretty damned nice.

So what'd I score?

Well my girlfriends and I have decided instead of dreading our 40th birthdays next year, instead we'll treat ourselves to a week in New York, sans kids/partners. Yay!

So my parents have set up a travel account for me to which they will deposit money in lieu of presents for birthdays/Christmas etc. Suits me!

I also received a beautiful bunch of flowers from my sister (thank you) and my grandmother has apparently sent me something but it hasn't arrived yet. I feel very spoilt and pretty damned lucky.

So onto the title of my post...

I don't seem to have an issue with 'milestone' birthdays. I think people hype them up so much and it just doesn't really bother me.

What DOES bother me, though, is the ones before or after the milestone. 30 was fine, a great year, but 31 was awful. It's probably a mental thing, that I deliberately won't get worked up over a milestone birthday when it's perfectly acceptable to do so, but then it hits me later like a delayed reaction.

So last night and this morning I've just been pondering...OMG 39!!! Like one less than 40.

Like officially middle aged.

I've entitled my blog 'Grown Up, Not Old' because most days I truly feel young at heart and just a great big kid playing grownups.

But then it hit me...

At lunch yesterday I had diet coke. Not wine, not champagne, diet coke.

I didn't have a drink to celebrate last night either. I didn't go out. I had popcorn for dinner and went to bed.

My 25 year old self would have been flabbergasted at such news. The wild, crazy party animal young me would have promptly drunk herself into a stupor and gone clubbing to block it out.

The young me couldn't stay at home. Couldn't understand why you'd go shopping for linen or kitchen porn...I mean, that's less money for drinking right/

So am I getting old?

These days I can happily while away the entire day at home and suddenly it's 5pm...

What?

When did this happen? When did I...heaven help me...get old?????

I'm a bit perplexed and not a little upset at myself. There is a part of me that feels like I should get tanked on champagne and discover Toowoomba nightspots this evening...just to show that I still CAN.

But there's another part that really can't be assed.

Oh dear.

So are you 'old'? When did it hit you? Should I get my party on STAT, or just go with the flow????

It's a conundrum.

So hope you're all having a wonderful weekend. Spare a thought for this old bag chilling at home and thoroughly enjoying it. Happy birthday to me :)

xx

Oh PS. thanks to my wonderful stepsister for her heartwarming text message saying she hopes I get one before I turn 40. Thanks. I sincerely hope I do too.

Cathy's 50s Housewife Friday: a very Bec birthday

Happy 50s Housewife Friday everyone, and a very Happy Birthday to the lovely Miss Blog Queen Rebecca!

Bec, this means that 23 years ago today, we were throwing up in the backyard of your house while your lovely mum wondered how we all got so drunk on two Westcoast Coolers, thankfully oblivious to the bottle of rocket fuel I had stashed in my bag.

We were the teens ur momma warned you about...but we did it sweetly and with impeccable manners

Woohoo!!! First birthday track of the day in honour of the book I stole for you on ur 17th birthday:

The Cure - Love Cats

Wanna flea, pretty?

Hmmm, did I just admit that?

Another exciting milestone this week...

Was my 7th wedding anniversary on Monday and I sit here typing today on my new Ipad 3! Damn I love pressies - I gave him a new drill, so excited!

7 years man, that's a good effort I reckon...we were together 7 years as a couple before we got married too...so many 7s...that must mean that for the next year at least our relationship will be travelling under a lucky star...sentimental of me, I know, but marriage and long-term relationships can be very scary. It's easier to write them off than it is to safe them when times get tough but for every bad year, there is an amazing year, and we are in the throes of an amazing year!

God I sound old.

Second track of the day before I go to finish setting up my new vege garden:

The Cult: Wildflower

Happy birthday Bec, I love knowing that I've always got you in my corner and I hope your year is under the lucky 7 star as well, 7/9 gal xoxo

Signing off with track 3: The Screaming Tribesmen: Date With a Vampire Girl

Will be seeing the amazing frontman from the Tribesmen tomorrow night at the Zoo as he support acts for my friend's fabulous band - Lovejoy. Can't wait to hit the Valley with my freshly blackened hair, and my posse of cool girls for a flashback of rock before I drag my married and fabulous ass home before I turn into a pumpkin at midnight.

After all, we've got forts and vege gardens to finish!

Have a great Bec birthday 50s Housewife Friday yo x

Cathy

Cathy wears many hats. Wife, mother of two sons, CEO of Little Monsters Pty Ltd and Cake Pop Queen just to name a few. She subscribes to the theory that Cathiness is next to Godliness. And on Fridays she behaves like a 50s hou

Money is pretty ugly on the Bachelor Pad.

So I wasn't going to admit to watching this, but as I've already confessed to Toddlers and Tiaras I thought I'd already scraped the bottom and plumbed the depths of pathetic-ness.

In that case, I thought I'd just have at it and spill all:

So I've been rather addicted to Bachelor Pad.

Yes, watching 21 ridiculously self-absorbed, deluded human beings hyped up on champagne, tripping over their overinflated egos (and bad boob jobs) and falling into bed with each other all in the name of winning $250,000 (per couple) has become addictive television viewing and provided me with some of the funniest moments of my week (life, as in 'get a' - yes I know).

I'm obsessed.

Top 10 quotes of the season:

1. Lindzi: "every guy's fantasy is twins, but I don't think they've met these twins yet" (truer words were never spoken)
2. Sarah: "Sarah, do you not be the only girl in this hot tub that does not hook up. That would be so pathetic" (of course it would)
3.  Chris (on Jamie): "I really don't like Jamie, but she's hot". "I feel like the only way to shut her up is to just kiss her" (what a guy)
4.  Jamie (on Chris): "That's the great thing about him. He doesn't get pleasure out of causing pain. He's loyal and that's so attractive" (so deluded it was almost sad)
5.  Chris (on Jamie, and Blakeley): "Honestly, the best thing I have done is traded in Blakeley and Jamie for Sarah. It's like buying a new car. You've got the nice new car smell and it's just so much smoother and nicer and easier for me" (seriously, what a catch)
6.  Kalon: "Yeah, I'm a liar. You want me to elaborate on that?" (please no, just get in your helicopter and go away, forever)
7.  Blakeley: "I'm so glad I worked at Hooters for 13 years" (your parents must be so proud)
8.  Nick: "This song is about a brother and sister and the brother is giving his sister advice - and they dry humped onstage" (uh...what?)
9.  Jaclyn: "I can't tell if Sarah is dancing or if there's something legitimately wrong with her. I'm about the call the medic. Somebody help us" (haha, it kinda did look like a seizure)
10. Jaclyn: "go f--k yourself. I want nothing to do with her ever again...she's dead to me"

Number 10 is my absolute favourite as this is in response to Rachel taking the most hated couple in the house to the finals with her instead of the much more popular Jaclyn and Ed. Um, this might be because she actually might want to win the money??? Overreaction much?

So the finals are next week and by all the 'O' faces in the trailer it's gonna be explosive. Or else just lame with one OMG moment and they've filmed all the O faces individually.

Likely the latter.

What is it about trash TV that just has me so hooked lately? All I can say is the summer hiatus in the US can't end soon enough...for all your sakes.

xx

Is it time to break up with your toxic friend?

Toxic friends. I'm pretty sure just about everyone has had one. If you haven't then consider yourself so, soooo lucky or just THAT confident that you wouldn't put up with it (in which case, can I have a piece of that?).

It's so common that Hollywood even coined a term for it:

FRENEMY.

So what's a toxic friend?

Well she is that self-absorbed, disrespectful, selfish, manipulative little soul sucking biatch, the one who is overly demanding, speaks to you in a way that you wouldn't even tolerate from your partner (or especially your partner!) and generally makes you feel guilty, undermined, taken advantage of or just simply drained. Everything comes with strings. Every 'innocent' comment designed to hit you where it hurts.

Meanwhile, while they're putting you down, they're expecting you to pick them up.

And yet you put up with it.

Note this isn't exclusively a women only problem, but generally men won't put up with that crap so its inevitable that it happens more often with women. For the purposes of this article Miss Toxic Biatchness will be referred to as a 'she'.

Friends should make you feel good. They should prop you up when you're down, celebrate with you when you're up. Much like a relationship, they should bring out the best in you (and vice versa, otherwise you might become Miss Toxic Biatchness herself, which is kinda not the point here).

Healthy friendships are crazy important for your emotional wellbeing so it's fair to say that an UNhealthy friendship with Miss Toxic Biatchness that is all take and no give, is really detrimental to your mental health.

So why do we put up with her? Let's face it, if you just met Miss Toxic Biatchness, you'd want to slap her silly so why invite her into your front door and give her a key?

So recently it dawned on a friend of mine that someone in her inner circle for many, many years was...well...a disrespectful biatch (aka Miss Toxic Biatchness). Kicking her to the kerb has been a hard journey for my mate and she's still going through the grieving process (yes losing a friend can be as hard as a relationship breaking up). She's still not there but I know she will be because now she's really reviewing the last x amount of years of friendship and realising all the things that she's made excuses for, all the behaviours she's ignored or let go in the name of being a good friend. She's pretty horrified with herself that she let all this happen without even really noticing it.

And God knows I've been through this once or six times myself. So I get that it's not that easy to just 'kick em to the kerb' as is so helpfully suggested by many.

Firstly it can be really hard to recognise that a friend truly is toxic or even if you know it, you feel obligated to 'fix them' or make excuses. Have you ever said 'oh that's just their way' or 'they're just shy' or something else equally inane?

Sadly I have.

Or they don't have anyone else so you feel like you can't abandon them. Or you can't help but remember something wonderful they did for you in the past (which is likely the ONLY wonderful thing, but you've been clinging to it for 20 years) which you then use to excuse their behaviour before and since.

Reminds of a saying that my stepmother used to hang in her kitchen:

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

The fact is, it isn't your job to fix your so-called friend. And a one-sided friendship sucks. Your soul. Literally.

If talking it out doesn't change things, then you really are doing the only healthy thing for yourself, and that's to walk away. Yes it's hard, and it leaves a hole that you think may never be filled.

But it will. It does, and one day you'll wake up happier and freer and so much more confident that you don't have that toxic, niggling presence of Miss Toxic Biatchness making you feel just a touch worse about yourself day after day. And you'll wonder why you ever put up with such a one-sided friendship that made you feel crap about yourself.

And then you have MORE time for the fulfilling, uplifting friendships that really matter.

It's a mental health service really.

Say it with me people...sayonara Miss Toxic Biatchness.

xx

Father's Day and statues with beanies. As you do.

What a fantastic Father's Day!

I fell asleep unspeakably early when attempting to make a start of Fifty Shades last night, before I even got to any naughty bits! Doesn't say much for the book but I will persevere.

I don't remember a thing until my phone rang 11 hours later...thanks Cathy for the wakeup call, otherwise I probably would've slept right through Elijah's party pickup time which would've shot my 'surprise' to all kinds to hell.

I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment as I went to bed exhausted, muscle-sore and just brain-dead, and after a mammoth 11 hour sleep marathon, woke up exactly the same way.

Despite the shaky start, it was the most magnificent day and after a coffee or two el-braino was sufficiently defogged to go collect E to go onto our 'surprise'.

So it appears that E had the night to end all nights, with eating followed by laser skirmish (in which he was 'the decoy' and very admirably to hear him tell. In hindsight a white skeleton shirt was not the ideal choice for such an activity), followed by pizza, movie, cake, sleeping in tents (it was 'intense' lol) and waking up to a sunny 3 degree morning to enjoy pancakes, bacon, maple syrup and ice cream.

Jeez throw in a couple of cocktails and I'm moving in.

Anyhoo, so the 'surprise' was supposed to drive to Tenterfield to see Dad for Father's Day. I say 'supposed to' because my father, being smarter than the average bear, decided to read my blog this morning and from my oblique reference yesterday cleverly figured it out. Clearly I'm not the brains of this operation.

Foiled...by my own big mouth.

Father's Day is really special to me. It's my birthday this week and so sometimes my birthday actually falls on Father's Day. So it's always been the day that we get together to celebrate both, just in case we live too far apart to see each other on both days. I think it's pretty fair to say that I'm a confirmed and unashamed Daddy's girl from way back and my father is simply my rock in this crazy world.

We saw him last weekend and he knew E was dying to go to this party last night so told us not to come and see him. My stepmother is currently away in Cairns and the thought of him being alone today was too much and I knew without question that I would be going come hell or high water.

So off we set, E excitedly chattering about his epic night.

So last time dad was here he had told me about a shortcut through Allora, so we drove through and couldn't find the bloody thing. It wasn't a total waste though, as we managed to see the statue in the town square that some clever (and agile) spark had managed to adorn with beanie and scarf.

Once again, clear reference that I need a life.

Because I needed further proof.

So we went to all the trouble of parking around the corner and footing it to the motel, hoping to burst through the door yelling 'any rooms at the inn' (which is so not funny but there you are) only to find dad in reception on the phone and basically...well, expecting us.

Oh well, it's the thought that counts, yeah?

So out come the presents and this plagues me every year...what do you get the man who either has everything he wants or just doesn't care enough about material things to want anything? The old standby - a Bunnings voucher - isn't much help when he lives a few hundred kms away from the nearest warehouse either.

So my wag of a son decided to obtain a charming money box that is for the 'Grumpy Old Man' in your life. Fines for moans, complaints and total tantrums apply. I ended up decided on a box of chocolates. Totally lame-o but seriously, he always has me at a loss. Of course I got blamed for the money box, haha.

I expect my stepmother will raise enough for a first-class overseas jaunt in no time.

Then my lovely stepsister arrived with the kids and simply THE most divine chicken curry complete with rice and pappadums for lunch, followed by chocolate cake, strawberries and a magnificent vanilla and marscapone dipping sauce. I can still taste it now...

Thank you Sandy! You're amazing, and I want that recipe, STAT.

Sadly it was all over too soon and we had to get back in the car for the drive home. Luckily we found the shortcut this time which wiped a whopping half an hour from the trip...thanks Dad! Brilliant as always.

It was so nice to be able to spend some time, even if it was limited, with dad on this special day. He never asks for anything which is why it's so nice to be able to spoil him.

Thanks for a wonderful day dad! I feel pretty damned lucky to be your daughter.

xx

Bayonets, Fifty Shades, Tiaras and the bizarre life of an assistant.

So another crazy week done and dusted and I'm feeling pretty damned pleased with myself, albeit exhausted.

Yesterday really highlighted the diverse and sometimes bizarre life of an assistant...from getting my boss ready for an overseas trip to following him to his private park to swap cars and unload his rifles from the boot...

Yes that was not a typo. Private park. Unloading rifles. You read it correctly.

It was the first time I've ever held a gun of any description and whilst they were all in bags, it was still surreal and somewhat terrifying. My boss also recalled a story of how he has purchased a World War I rifle that was never taken out of the box...when he opened it he discovered not only the rifle but a BAYONET.

For real.

I told him to walk around the office with it casually slung over his shoulder at pay review time. Watch productivity increase. Demands decrease. Problem solved.

I for one won't be pissing him off in a hurry now I know he's such a crack shot. And he is the proud owner of a BAYONET.

Fall in line, troops.

So a rifle is so much heavier than I expected. Unless I develop some guns (pun intended) tout suite, I would barely be able to lift the thing shoulder height, let alone take any kind of decent aim.

For the record, my boss does target shooting for sport, not anything with a pulse.

So there's a couple of 'firsts' that I don't think I'd ever experience in Brisbane! Probably not anywhere except Toowoomba! In what universe do you stumble into a magical garden just a few short blocks from the CBD??? My imagination is already planning all the parties we can have there...

So today we went to visit my fellow blogger Willow in her lovely new home, which is now sooo much closer to me...literally just a 2-3 minute drive...yay for me! I am in love with her place and if I ever get sick of my little abode I'll be evicting her and moving in myself. So happy for her.

Wonderful to see the kids all playing happily together. One of the nicest things about my old long-time friends is now most of us have kids of our own and they all play BEAUTIFULLY together. In some cases there's years between them but it simply doesn't matter. So nice to be able to hang with my lovely ladies knowing the kids are happy and occupied (and hopefully in another room).

So this afternoon I dropped E off to his first ever overnight camping birthday party. Laser skirmish, pizza, plenty of sugar, a huge tent...and did I mention 11 kids? They are much braver people than me although they assured me their earplugs are top notch, so perhaps that's the trick. I am looking forward to hearing all about the night's hijinks when I pick up an overtired, oversugared child tomorrow.

And then we're going to surprise someone...I won't say anything just in case they read this and it spoils it all but I'm so looking forward to it.

So I've just finished reading all the Fallen series by Lauren Kate. It's about fallen angels and I must say it took me awhile to get into them and I didn't really fall in LOVE with the characters but the storyline was really interesting so I had to keep reading to find out what happened. I've heard they're making it into a movie but I just don't see how they'll be able to do it convincingly...fingers crossed they don't make a total hash of it as per Twilight.

Speaking of, I know it will be crap but I'm still excited that the last part of Breaking Dawn is opening soon! Will be dragging Miss Willow along and she'll have no excuse now we're both living in the same town.

So I finished all the books and went trolling through amazon.com to try to find something new to read. I must say I was a bit uninspired and I'm up to date with most of my favourite authors so I have done what I had promised myself I wouldn't...

I downloaded Fifty Shades of Grey.

Oh dear.

I've heard it's really badly written and not at all a convincing portrait however everyone's been going on about it and my screen crush Ian Somerhalder is lobbying for the part of the main character in the soon-to-be-made movie, so I thought, why the hell not. If it's good enough for Ian and all that...

So if I'm engrossed in my kindle the next few days I'll tell you I'm reading something intellectually stimulating but in actual fact I'll be reading something else stimulating...er...or so I've heard.

So there we go.

Oh you'll see the depths of my boredom when I reveal something so horrifying and shocking and embarrassing that I did last night...

I've mentioned before that I've exhausted pretty much all of my TV shows and subsequently have been delving into fare I'd never generally watch in a million years (The Shire, anyone?).

Well last night I sunk to a new low.

I watched....(oh God I can barely say it)...

Toddlers and Tiaras.

Perhaps I picked a bad episode to start with, being a 50s theme with one FOUR YEAR OLD GIRL coming out dressed as Sandy and pretending to smoke. I'm pretty sure the cig was real, too. Not lit, but so not the point. And the little girl's mother is justifying herself all over the place saying it was just acting and she had to be authentic.

As if dressing your little kid up as some kind of bizarro-world adult/doll wasn't bad enough.

It was the most horrifying experience of my life.

And you can bet I'll be watching another episode as soon as I've finished typing this.

It's like a car crash, I just can't look away.

And as an aside...if you call your kid Destiny, what the hell is her stripper name supposed to be????? Wrong. Just wrong.

So there you are...I'll be tucked up trying to get warm on an unseasonably FREEZING night either getting naughty with Fifty Shades or naughtier with Toddlers and Tiaras.

Have a good weekend all!

xx