Sellofies. What?

Apparently the latest trend going viral (viralling???) on ye olde 'net is the Sellotape Selfie, or so cleverly, the Sellofie.

Whatever floats your boat, but seriously?


Oh dear God.

Bec xx

My second favourite F word...guilty pleasures and pretentiously awful people doing fabulous things.

So I've got a confession to make. This is beyond embarrassing, but in the interests of full disclosure, here we go:

I've started watching #RichKids of Beverly Hills. And I can't stop.

Feel free to hurl abuse here. It's deserved. Completely. I might cry but that's my cross to bear.

I think I must have been really bored one weekend, or comatose, or whatever, because even I know how wrong this is on any and every level, especially for someone my age who really should know better. Heck, a 10 year old would know better than to indulge in this crap, but there you are.

Anyhoo, it's even worse than the title. It's hideous, pretentious and stupid, filled with some of the most un-endearing, spoiled characters you'd ever hope to (not) meet, ie. horrible people doing fabulous things. Like the Kardashians on crack, who nonsensically  impart such UN tongue-in-cheek wisdom as:

'My arms aren't really long enough for a selfie sometimes'

'Walking from Barneys up Rodeo is cardio'

'My occupation is being funemployed and fabuluxe'

'When Saachi spilled sangria on my marigold yellow velvet Chanel boy bag and satin Charlotte Olympia shoes, I kind of freaked out initially'

and my favourite (after viewing yet another selfie):

'Do I look this bitchy in real life?'

Why yes. Yes you do.

Watching these spoilt  Bev princesses hit NYC was one of the funniest things, you can clearly see that everyone in NYC thinks they're provincial little hicks while they swan around in their own (self-perceived) fabulosity. Hilarious.

I think the only saving grace of this show is Morgan, one of the main characters, who is the only one who is seemingly in on the joke. She seems completely aware of how ridiculous she is and seems to deliberately revel in the hideousness, coming out with gems such as:

'I will literally check Instagram four times in a row and then be like, I’ve seen all these pictures, it’s awkward, I should probably call somebody or do something with my life'

Morgan's singular claim to fame is her blog 'Boobs and Loubs' which I must admit I haven't yet read, but sounds pretty self explanatory. She outright admitted that she barely updates it anymore (it's pretty hard to find the time between spin classes and pressuring her boyfriend to propose) but then turns around and throws a $25,000 party to re-launch the blog.

Yes, you read that right.

I'm so ashamed that I've gotten hooked into this drivel. I mean, there's the Real Housewives, there's The Bachelor, and then there's this.

I've hit a new low.

What's your guilty secret?

Happy Friday, y'all!

Bec xx

Numb butts and dead brains. It must be Thursday.

So I'm soldiering on after a mammoth week starting with driving a few hours to collect # 1 son on Monday (more on that later) followed by a 2 day conference where I came out feeling brain dead and with a totally numb butt....

So I am an assistant and so by nature spend much of my time in an office sitting at a desk, so the abundant sitting (which can clearly be evidenced by the size of my ass) usually isn't a problem. So what's the diff, right? Well my wonderful, amazing, fabulous boss has given me a gazillion dollar Eames leather office chair which seriously is like a piece of heaven and akin to sitting on a wonderfully suspended, swivelling cloud...

Even the most comfy conference chair is clearly going to rate poorly in comparison and I must say I am so happy to have my butt back in the matter to which it has been accustomed.

I have just realised that my first post in like a bazillion years has so far focused on my ass. Oh dear.

Moving on...

So # 1 son went to Sydney for an extended weekend with my stepmother, stepsister and fam, and a cast of other thousands from their side of the family. The purpose was to go see the Lion King at the theatre and well, why not spend some time exploring Sydney too? This was pretty wonderful for a number of reasons, ie. # 1 son hasn't been to Sydney or in a plane for that matter for years so that he barely remembers it. Plus he gets to have an adventure and I get some peace and quiet! Haha.

Anyhoo, because my parents live in Tenterfield, about 3 or so hours away, we tend to meet halfway to do swapovers (I must admit we do feel like battling exes doing the kid swapover in the Maccas carpark at Warwick, but at least we do get out of the car, and you know, exchange words and stuff).

Hence the driving. I think I've probably said before that I'm not the world's biggest fan of driving.It sounds stupid but I really started to effing hate driving when living in Brisbane and dealing with stupid traffic whose singular purpose seemed to be how quickly it could make my blood boil. The more I drove, the more I started to seriously despise every car and every idiot in every car on the road. So whilst I developed an equal hatred for public transport, it was for totally different reasons and at least my blood pressure thanked me for making the switch.

Toowoomba traffic is kinda an oxymoron, so driving isn't nearly as heinous here so I've learned to tolerate it to an extent. I still would much rather have a personal driver at my beck and call but it's OK.

Still not a fan of driving more than a 10 minute distance though, which works pretty well usually as nothing in Toowoomba is really more than 10 minutes away.

I have just re-read this entire post and apologise in advance for either being offensive or dull. If I had the choice, I'd rather be offensive because there's just no excuse for dull.

So anyhoo, completely different topic...50's Housewife has turned me onto The Real Housewives and recommended I begin with New York City or New Jersey. As I can't even tolerate looking at pictures of the one who really needs to laser some of the hair off her forehead, I decided to go with NYC. Another obvious reason I that I am still having a potent and passionately raging love affair with NYC and any excuse to see images of Manhattan is OK by me.

So totally years behind, I get this, but how awful is this rift with Bethenny/Jill and how hideous are alien-eyes Ramona, the manly, permatanned Kelly and The Countess (or Dis-Count or Countess as I prefer). It's a sad state of affairs indeed when the desperate social climber and most hated from Season 1 (Alex) suddenly becomes the voice of reason. I feel quite robbed actually, that the producers made us love the devilish Bethenny/Jill combo and then suddenly you realise that both of them kinda suck.

I am persevering but it is getting difficult as I really have gone from watching in a slightly amused 'who the hell do these completely un-self aware twits think they are' fashion to really quite hating the whole entitled, horrible pretentious bunch of them.

Damn you 50s housewife. And damn you producers for creating such a car wreck of a show where I am finding it difficult to simply just look away.

And don't even get me started on The Bachelor. Or Couples Therapy. Let's just not go there.

So here's to numb butts and dead brains and junk food tv. It must be Thursday.

Bec xx